Last night I was fit to be tied. It's been only a week, and I had no cravings until last night. I would have walked in my nightgown to get a bottle of wine. It's disgusting. I wonder about my life without it and all my elegant restaurants without wine??? What do I order water??
I need that elegance found elsewhere. I am so glad today I start my treatment with an outpatient clinic. I was so flipping close to drink last night. And I cannot, ever again. I am choosing this. NO one is forcing me. But it is very very difficult indeed. I am very envious of those of you who have so much sobriety under your belts. I will lean on you. Back4good
Hey Back, It's hard, but you didn't go to the get that bottle of wine in your nighty, good for you. I can't do this if I look in the future. It's a one day at a time deal, and today you will start another step in the journey of recovery, at the clinic.
How many AA meetings can you get to in a week? Here we only have two a week, it's always suggested to make 90 meetings in 90 days if at all possible, early in sobriety. There are enough meetings within a 50 mile radius here that it can be done if you want to drive.And I have driven to meetings 100 miles away, if I needed one.
What I do today when I'm in an elegant resturant is order lime Perrier or juice, you know they always bring whatever in a fancy glass.I drink Perrier at home, in a long stem glass, I usually drink my tea or coffee in a china tea cup at home also, unless it's one of my senimental moments and I have to drink out of one of the mugs the kids gave me.
I chose to stop drinking also, no one forced me. After a blackout, just one of many, I fell to my knees and said "God , if you are real, take this , because I don't want to live this life anymore. And I will kill myself."He took it "One day at a time". Has it been easy, never...Has it been worth it,Yes...
You are worth it Back4good, we are here for you.Keep posting.
Hi Back. I think this varys with a lot of us, but Ile just speak from my own experience. It took a period of 270 days before that strong compulsion left. I had it each and every day.
The fact that I hadnt totally accepted the first second and third step had a lot to do with that too.
It was a matter of no choice. It was sober up or die.
There have also been periods of drinking dreams, and various days after that-- that that complulsion came back.
My sponsor told me that the only thing I was capable of in the first 365 days of sobriety, was just not picking up that first drink, and going to meetings.
I tried to prove him wrong, but I know he was right.
I was a sick person, and yes--insane.
One day at a time, my freind.
__________________
Easy Does it..Keep It Simple..Let Go and Let God..
hi back4good...way to go for not giving in on that craving!!!!!
I think mostly the cravings stopped for me when i just simply realized that i accepted an surrendered to this disease. Funny how thats a paradox...surrender to win
I was taught about the 5 minute rule...if i'm thinking about it for 5 minutes then i'm obessessing...actually even 5 minutes is too long!! I learned tools to combats those times....
Talking about it is the best....it takes some of it's power away...which in turn empowers us...Time takes time, don't give up, you're doing great!!
Thank you all again. Its really hard to adjust to an entire different lifestyle. I use to get up on weekends and have lunch with 2-3 wines and go out and work in the garden then start in again around 3pm only to crash before 9pm. Now at 9 pm I am wide awake and just craving a relaxing drink. Its funny how we remember it being relaxing but it really wasnt. It was more like going into this buzz where once my lower lip was hanging I was ready for bed. What a mess. I tried the chocolate but that made it worse. But I will see what they say today to me. They said they have a med now that reduces cravings. GIVE ME IT!!!!!!!!!!
I just had to crack up at the thought of me drinking fine wine elegantly at a restaurant.
There's a guy on the radio here who does a wine review called "Time Out for Fine Wine". Having a somewhat warped sense of humor it doesn't take me long to realize the absurdity of the idea of "sampling" fine wine myself. The last stuff I was drinking was Gallo Cream Sherry (in gallon jugs) and anything other fine wine with a high alcohol content. I did start out with the good stuff early on but after a while the alcohol content is all that really mattered.
When I was in rehab I thought it was hilarious how all the alkies sat in the community room watching "Cheers" on TV. No one else seemed to notice any irony. I try not to let myself indulge in such "euphoric recall" fantasies.
i know what you mean about lifestyle changes...i relied a lot on alcohol heavily to get to sleep, and had a lot of difficulty thinking of alternatives when i quit. a resource which really helped me with a lot of these things (getting to sleep, going out with friends, making it through really desperate cravings... those really practical day-to-day things) was the book "living sober." they sell them at most meetings, i think.
Last night I was fit to be tied. It's been only a week, and I had no cravings until last night. I would have walked in my nightgown to get a bottle of wine. It's disgusting. I wonder about my life without it and all my elegant restaurants without wine??? What do I order water??
Thank you all again. Its really hard to adjust to an entire different lifestyle. I use to get up on weekends and have lunch with 2-3 wines and go out and work in the garden then start in again around 3pm only to crash before 9pm. Now at 9 pm I am wide awake and just craving a relaxing drink. Its funny how we remember it being relaxing but it really wasnt. It was more like going into this buzz where once my lower lip was hanging I was ready for bed. What a mess. I tried the chocolate but that made it worse. But I will see what they say today to me. They said they have a med now that reduces cravings. GIVE ME IT!!!!!!!!!!