Hi There Shadow,

So very happy you made another Post.  Also happy to see you feeling so much better, a good part, in my opinion, of that "deep black hole" being absent, possible is a result too of Just not drinking, one day at a day.  But for whatever the reason, Yes the answer to you question, or rather the statement of others really listening and  hearing you, I call that just a fact.

You write, we interrupt the what you write as Words, indeed.  We are ALWAY here for you to hear what it is you are saying and listening with both ears, answer any questions you have, and always willing to try to help to the best of our own ability.

I have a question,  you seem to have reasons for not going forward with trying out the AA meetings, and my question about that is.  Is that Fear.  You have mentioned that for now you dont want your friends of others that you know, not to know.

Imagine taking the good that you find here on this Board, and
what, I can give you my word on is, that you would find the same wonderful people in these rooms.

Let me give you an example of something ok.  When I joined MIP about 5 years ago, I had just relocated to the Northern part of the county, and had one meeting that I found that was something I could find, and knew how to get there, they had daily, Mon thru Friday meetings.  In weeks of moving here, I had a very beloved and precious pet, Annie, my little Persian
Cat, that was over 16 years old, and with no notice, she got extremely ill, and found out she had had a cancereous growth that just went haywire, and so for her sake, when I could see that she was in a lot of pain, I made a fast decision in her best interest ONLY, to take that step, and have her put to sleep, and did go through with that, with my Annie in my arms..
She did not have the usual characteristics of a Kitty, but more like a little loving Puppy.  I can never tell you how much I loved and cherised this adorable pet. 

But the point to the above story, was yes, I did go to a meeting the next day, and without expected it, I started crying so hard in the meeting when I was telling the room about her sudden death. The warmth that was extended to me, a warm loving hand on my back from someone that I did not really know, and all the love pouring out of these wonderful folks after the meetings. So much compassion, and because it was so unlike me to EVER cry in public, ever, I did get over the sort of embarrasment of that immediately too. 

And it was after that, in the same week that I found the MIP Board, needed to do something, anything to just keep busy, and what I ended up finding was just like finding a Pot of Gold, hundreds of brothers and sisters here on MIP, and just like all the Meetings when I announced that i was new to this area, MIP offerred the same unconditional warm welcome. I did attend 3 meetings a week, a Step Study Meeting, a Book Meeting, and Open discussion Meeting, with someone picking a topic.

If you should decide one day to walk through the doors, I think you would see for yourself, almost something so great, it is hard to convey in words.  An Organization that is so very different than any other organization in this big ole world, that is how I see it.  Simply Stated, people speaking straight from their hearts, and with others that really are listening, and it can be indeed very interesting too, someone might share about losing a Parent, and someone speaking about how difficult it was to walk in from a DUI, (where the Meeting are manditory), and someone else almost incapable of holding back the Joy of getting Married in the next month.  When we  go, sit down and just become a part of these meetings, the bottom line, IS, We Get so much out of it, like a nourishment of humanity, and real humanity, straight from the Heart. All of this helps us stay sober, with our brothers and sisters that share the same disease, in our one Day at a Time program.

So that was my little feeble attempt to share what is there waiting for you, should you decide to go.

Funny, sort of, all my responses in the past to you tend to get so long, that when I began, said to myself, just be as brief as you can, not one of those long windy messages, well as you can see Shadow, I flunked that one, and good. haha.

You are a Part of our little family, and hope you read a lot of the Post, so much going on with so many, some doing really really well, and see some stumbling backwards for some here too.  We are all here helping the ones that have stumbled, and support all that are doing so well, in the same way.

wow, you signed on just after the lst of September, right, and we are getting closer to the end of the month. One great job in staying away from the Alcohol!! And as you struggled with not picking up a drink, and fast forward to today, bet you have a full grasp of why we call it a One Day at a Time Program.

Hope to see you soon,

Toodles, Toni

Morning Shadow,

I went back this morning and was reading and rereading you very first Post.

This is all so very new to you, as you were saying in that Post, like the fact that you might now have become an Alcoholic, as opposed to just one year ago, when a Bottle of Vodka would last well over a month.

So it all makes sense that you have had to digest and take in to the best of your ability, what so many of us had known about ourselves for such a long long time, but were truthfully, incapable of really owning up to it, too scared, that was the core of the reason I believe. Well it was for me.

I sure do feel like we have become real friends, as that might sound strange in a way, but surely do feel somehow that we have connected in a unique way. And as you said I can feel that Listening both ways for sure.

So considering that this is all so very new, the disease concept, and bring into that your fantastic open mindedness, and I can feel your awesome willingness too.  So just one day at a time,  I feel such a hope for you that you will be able to get a handle on this disease, before it can take on a life of its own.  Great Great, Great work.  You mentioned somewhere, that you are at least working on this as a first step, and ironically, that is the 1 Step of the Program, "We admitted we were Powerless over Alcohol - that our Lives had become unmanageable"

Thank for you kindness too, yesterday, did feel that I went sort of off topic with my Kitty story, but the point I was trying to make, hope you heard it, that in AA Meetings, the face to face, the warm loving smiles, the literal touching of hands when saying a Prayer at  the end of the Meetings, I alway leave with this great feeling that I have had my nourishment for the day, in this little 24 hour a Day program.  I have faith too that you will someday, maybe not today, but when the times comes to make those connections.

You really do inspire me, with you words of kindness, and you open mindedness.

Ok, cannot help myself, haha, well, ok, I don't want to,  = truth,  remember that movie Contact, with Jodie Foster, where she heard... for months,  the beautiful sounds of that distant contact, and then she journeyed out to....  where she actually made that Contact.

Just drawing a little visual parallel.

Hope you have a wonderful day, and 2 solid weeks, Yahoo, Congratulations, in the beginning, that is no easy task, just ask anyone here.

Hugs to you my dear friend.
Toni

hello Shadow Dancer..i too am very new to the program..my sobriety date is 8/17/09...after i finally 'grabbed myself by the short and curlies' and asked someone for help...the very first thing she did was haul my sorry butt to a meeting..of course i didn't go to my hometown, as it is quite small..but i went..after a couple of weeks she talked me into a meeting in my town..wanted me to meet some of her friends...scared as i was, i went..and because of that i have met some of the most precious people i have ever known..it is wonderful to have a place like this to come to, but there is nothing like a real hug from a real person, that knows exactly what you are feeling and thinking...i know you are worried about running into people you know or friends of your friends, but one thing to remember is...you are both there for the same reason..to stay sober..they have been in exactly the same place you are right now..and yes, it is scary as hell..but it is SO worth it...i know being sober is not something i can do alone...take care and be safe..
Lori