What are fears? Faceless horrors that lie waiting in the silent darkness of night. Unsound phobias that Exist in the furthest reaches of the mind Approaching shadows that threaten to blot out all light. All are contained in the worthless Scripts know as fears, a terrible script that must be re-written and let go of for a rewarding satisfactory life to occur. By: Melissa M. Messina

Fears are the: Irrational beliefs about how an object, event, happening, or feeling will result in negative, disastrous, life threatening, disturbing, or unsettling consequences for you. Result of giving power to your objects of irrational belief, letting them rule you rather than you ruling them. Underlying motive behind many of your actions and lack of action that block your thinking, problem solving and decision making abilities. Negative self-scripts you have either given yourself or that were given to you about how you will suffer dire consequences if you involve yourself in certain activities, behavior, or events. Disabling beliefs you carry in yourself that prevent you from living a productive, healthy, and growth-enhancing life. Underlying foundation of a weak self-image and self-concept; they keep you from fully asserting yourself, and that hinders your quest for self-actualization. Inhibitors, emotional blocks, unconscious messages, and uncovered elements of your psychological make up. They result in your being resistant, hesitant, or unwilling to participate in nurturing, healing activities such as counseling, support groups, or therapy. Beliefs about not only the known elements of life, but also of the nebulous, transient, and unknown elements of life that result in your inability to feel comfortable in ill-defined situations. "Comfortable'' ways of acting and responding. Because of their habitual and well established nature, fears can become second nature; therefore, being extremely resistant to change or alteration. Basis of your negative belief system. If you were no longer the recipient of the negative consequences that the fears predicted, you would have to take off your ``mask'' and become authentic. Excuses behind which people hide to avoid change or growth. To rid yourself of your fears is to rid yourself of the lifelong reasons for avoiding personal growth. What forms do fears take? Fears come in a variety of packages for people who have low self-esteem, such as the fear of: places: school, church, crowds, planes or enclosed places heights above or below ground animals: snakes, rats, mice objects: guns, knives, computers people: men or women, strangers, homosexuals, making problems or trouble for others, feeling over-responsible, not doing enough for others, losing others, events: nuclear holocaust, war, crime atmosphere: dark, shadowy, gloomy, foreboding, being alone, strange or unknown setting family member: getting ill, being lost, running away disaster: fire, hurricane, tornado, lightening, losing job or being fired, injury or pain (self or others), death (self or others), losing security and financial stability reactions or responses to self: rejection, disapproval, not being liked, being made fun of, disappointing others, being ignored, being the ``real'' you results of taking a risk to do something: failure, success, making a mistake, being judged, repeating mistakes from the past public speaking: taking a leadership role, getting nervous in front of others, making a fool of yourself feelings about oneself: feeling guilty, ``not being good enough'', being unstable or crazy, being held accountable, being pressured to produce, explaining your behavior, being exposed for the weaknesses or failures in your past, being useless or unwanted the unknown: new things, e.g., technology, change, making a decision, growing old alone, retirement, inactivity authority figures: being told what to do, being embarrassed What are some negative consequences of fear? Fear can: Immobilize decision making. Prevent you from overcoming your insecurity, prevent you from trusting in others, and prevent you from being willing to become vulnerable in order to grow. Prevent you from being willing to let go of old habits or ways of thinking in order to change. Make you resistant to all offers of help from others. Terrify you and make you unwilling to venture out into the world, making you a prisoner in your home. Stifle your motivation to pursue an education or a career. Keep you locked in self-destructive behavior. Prevent you from believing in your chances to become a fully functioning, healthy individual. Be the reason why you find yourself stuck in old ways of acting and believing. Be the roadblock to change and growth; if not overcome fear becomes the patterned way of living an unhealthy life-style. What new behaviors are needed to overcome fear? To overcome fear people need to: Refute irrational beliefs Affirm themselves "Let go'' of fear Identify the fear, label it, visualize it, and deal with it as if it were an object or entity to be remolded, changed, or altered. Make an honest assessment of their fear and create a consistent, systematic plan of action to overcome it. Relax physically, reduce anxiety and tension, be able to call themselves into a relaxed state. Establish a sense of confidence in their ability to overcome and deal with the feared objects or events. Be sensitized to the stimuli of the feared object or event. Let go of insecurity, develop trust in themselves and others, and permit themselves to be vulnerable to change and growth. Be persistent in their efforts, recognizing that it may take a lifelong effort to eliminate some fears. Stop or "turn off'' obsessing thoughts about the feared objects or events. Put it into a realistic perspective, so that it is not seen as the major focal point of their energy, efforts, and attention. Allow for discomfort, pain, hurt, and the disquieting emotions of the fear recurring in greater intensity as they initially address the treatment of fear. Accept their human qualities and lack of omnipotence. They will probably be confronting fear for their entire life. It is OK to know this and to accept it as a normal part of the human condition. Maintain the motivation to change and grow. Allow for relapses and set backs without undue discouragement.