My husband doesn't believe me because he thinks I was drunk.
My mother went crazy.... she punched her little dog in front of me and I said "if you do that again I will punch you"
She went like excorcist....upstairs and I thought I had to call the doc cos she wouldn't stop screaming at the top of her voice
Her hub was there, she was calling me "that bitch, I never want to see her again"
I can't cope. I can't cope. Honestly....
Hub says I shouldn't have had a drink but I swear to God I didn't have a lot to drink but when she was upstairs with her hub and she ....my own mother was screaming I lost it and I drank tons while I listened....
THEN apparently she phones and she is blaming me. He reckons I made up what happened last night and it didn't happen.
I feel like he doesn't have any IDEA what is going on in my head right now. Maybe it would just be easier if I wasn't here.
I'm not drunk right now....it is nearly 4am and I've been asleep for hours and slept it off....woke up like this....he doesn't want to know.
How, I'm glad you posted, even if I don't quite understand what went on. I've been in similar circumstances. Please don't pick up that drink this morning,get to a meeting when you can, and call some program people. We are all alcoholics here, staying sober one day at a time.
I know it really doesn't do any good to blame anyone cause the simple fact is I as an active alcoholic could always find something or someone that would or could make me take that first drink. Today I have a group of people who understand, have been there and I also have a higer power, I call God who leads and guides me.Today I don't have to drink and life is better.Hang in there you will be able to cope with more then you ever thought you could.
Don't drink...just for an hour. Then, wait another hour...and another. We are here for you. I'll keep checking in at the chat room tonight(for me) guess it's day for you. Or post here if you can't get to the chat room.
one breath at a time, nothing will be easier if you drink...only worse. And no it wouln't be easier if you weren't in the picture. By not picking up that first drink, things DO get better, time takes time, and nothing changes if nothing changes
Try to get some more sleep if you can, things might look different to you tomorrow, otherwise please keep typing out your feelings here, we are here for you, we understand. I hope you consider a meeting.
I have already learnt so much more about alcohol than I ever realised. The effect that it had had on me the long term. The damage, mentally and physically and definitely I mean emotionally too.
I have only started seeing these effects on my behaviour in the last few weeks and I joined AA about 6 weeks. It feels much longer ago. What I am trying to say is that while you are drinking you dont have a leg of self confidence to stand on. In order to be able to deal with other people in your life who might not make sense, you have to be sober otherwise they pay you no attention and you probably dont make much sense. I know that when I am drinking , even if not getting 'drunk', my behaviour is affected in such a negative and chaotic way that I always end up the loser in any situation. Please for your life - dont drink today.
I really believe that sober we can conquer our all our defects in time. Drunk we can do nothing except turn people against us.
I know what you are going through. The answer is never in taking another sip or gulping or drinking. How can you know what is going on if you do that....I thought I did too.But I didnt know anything about anyone. Don't take another drink. I am right there with you.