step 3

matisa · Veteran Member

step 3

Suzy · Veteran Member

Hi Matisa

this is a tough one. I also felt that when I handed over that things would start getting better and that I would not take another drink. But I think I was missing something. I am trying now every minute every day when I get the stinking thinking about life about drinking about the way I mistreat people, to get quiet and turn my mind to my higher power. It is constant work and now i realise that I was expecting the imposssible. I still have to be the one to take action even though I handed over my mind to my higher power. I hope I make some sense.

Suzy

matisa · Veteran Member

Thank you suzy, another question, why can't GOD be enough? Why do we have to have other people in our lives ????

I mean what I want is for GOD to come down here to earth and walk with me and talk to me, and tell me everything he wants me to do,, all I really want is for it to be GOD and I and no one else cuz, everything else is too risky...

Thank you!

matisa

cheri · Senior Member

"Being convinced, we were at step 3, which is that we decided to turn our will and our life over to the care of God as we understood Him. Just what do we mean by that, and just what do we do?" Big Book pp 60

Have you ever heard the saying...God can move mountains, but I better bring a shovel? That means that I have to do the work...I can't just want something and expect God to give it to me. That was my old way of thinking.

I had a desire to stop drinking, but couldn't stop by myself. I came to believe that God could remove this obsession, and asked that it be removed. I believe that God did. Am I healed forever? No. I have a daily reprieve from the obsession of drinking, as long as I ask God and I do the work that God expects out of me.

Things do get better, but it takes time. I didn't become hopeless overnight...no reason I should expect instant recovery overnight either. I think it's great that you are asking questions and trying...that's all that anyone expects you to do. We love you and care about you...

Love, cheri

Rick · MIP Old Timer

The promises After the nineth step

If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves

Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.

In the BB it says something to the effect--- and that now brings us to the 10th step

Cheri said it TIME---THINGS I MUST EARN

wantneeda · MIP Old Timer

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change\

courage to change the things i can,

and the wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time,

accepting hardships as the pathway to peace,

taking as He did, the world as it is, not as i would have it.

Trusting that He will make all things right if i surrender to His will,

that i may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him,

forever, in the next.

the first part of the prayer that us AA's say at the beginning of our meetings is the best way ever devised for anyone who still believes they must manage their own life to temporarily continue to try to do so.

the only thing that is cured is a ham!!! i believe that each day that goes by we are healed alittle more,,mind body and soul.

Step III

Step 3 requires that we take affirmative action as a result of the developing awareness we have gained from working the first 2 steps. In step 1 we admitted we were powerless, that our lives had become unmanageable. In step 2, we came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

1. list ways in which step1 prepared you for step 3

2. List ways in which step 2 prepared you for step 3

step 3 seems to require more of us than the first 2 steps because we are now asked to turn ourselves over to a Higher Power with totoal abandon. I fwe feel pressured by this decision, we are going tof ast. We must slow down and take the time needed to become ready to proceed. It is in these first 3 steps that we set the foundation for working all of the steps and for achieving the peace and security we are looking for.

3. List examples that indicate you are prepared to turn your will and your life over to the care of God.

4. What resistance do you have that indicates you may have blocked God from your life.

The key to success inb working step 3 lies in our willingness to turn our lives over to the care of God. This is difficult for many of us because we are so accustom,ed to handling our lives on self will alone. Our self will has banned God from our lives, and the idea of surrendering is frightening. We learned to pray to God and to ask Him for things we want, but we were always in control. We are accustomed to asking Him for guidance in helping us achieve ou goals. This is different from turning our very essence over to him to do whatever He wants without our having any say in the matter.

Most of us who start this program do so in search of answers to the complex questions of life and also to find a way to stop repeating painful cycles of ineffective behaviour. In the past, some of us may have experimented with lifestyles and beliefs tha appeared to present solutions. What we are really looking for is a personal experience of God that reanscends the arguments over mankind's conditioning dogmas.

In concluding the examination of your preparedness to turn your will(your thinking) and your life(your body) over to God,.what was revealed to you about how you have:

5.MADE A DECISION...have you stopped thinking about it and done it? If you haven't yet made the decision, list the things that are holding you back.

6.TO TURN OUR WILL AND OUR LIVES OVER...do you trust that turning over doesn't mean giving up your life? If your answer to this question is no, explain why you feel this way.

7. TO THE CARE OF GOD...How do you see god as caring for you?

6.AS WE UNDERSTOOD HIM...how do you understand Him now? If you are still struggling with the idea of God, what events have formed your present view?

(We) "made a decision to turn our wills and our lives over to the care of God as we understand him". Step 3 is a decision to recover. My commitment with my God to make changes in my life.

9. the step starts with the wording "Being convinced:. in your own words what is the BB referring to:

10. "Each person is like an actor who wants to run the whole show, is forever trying to arrange the lights, the ballet, the scenery and the rest of the players in his own way".

a) can you idintify with this line? b) give an example:

11. Page 61. what are some of the traits you have used to manipulate people?

12. Waht does the first paragraph on page 62 mean to you?

"selfishness, self-centeredness! What, we think is the root of our troubles....position to be hurt."

13. So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making." page 62. do you accept this statement?

14. "Neither could we reduce our self-centeredness much by wishing or trying in our own power, we had to have God's help."

a) have you freely accepted the conditions of this line? b) explain

15. can you accept the following conditions of the last paragraph on page 62? "this is the how and why of it. First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn't work. Next, we decided that hereafter in this drama of life, God was going to...

a) be our director- i am the actor...b) He is the principal, I am His agent?...c) He is the father and I am his child? d) He is my new employer

16. The three words re: paragraph2, page 63-"W e were reborn." How does this make you feel and what does it mean to you?

17. Suggest you memorize the step 3 prayer in the BB.the following is an interpretation of step3 by Father Bob of the Lumsden retreat.

does this interpretation make the prayer more clear?

My god, i surrender my will into your hands.With my will I hand over to you all that I am and have.All things come from you as a gift and so I give them back to you so that I rest entirely under your will in everything.At this time I surrender into your care my wife and children and all my loved ones; also I give you my job and all those with whom i work.Take O God, my anxieties and worries, my joys and sorrows., my strengths and my weaknesses so that in all things you are in charge and I am your willing instrument.God, I hand myself over to you now and for always. Amen

I hope this helps you. \\// Wendy