What are the rules here? I'm so frustrated and mad, I WANT to cuss...What are the rules here??? I really want to drink also, but i KNOW MY rules on that.
I don't want to offend anyone here, but I also wonder, what could I possilby say that one wouldn't hear at a bar? Usually, this would be a challenge to me, but not tonight. With the respect I have for you all, I wouldn't want to offend you. Where IS the "line?"
Share your truth with us here or pick up the phone to another alcoholic & tell it like it is for you, Mark. Where is your desire for a drink coming from? I know it can't be from a compulsion to swear but I am hearing your frustration. Let it out & don't keep it in your head. That's what we're here for. Take a load off :)
Don't forget that in early recovery we are still learning to deal with pent up feelings of stress & anger without taking a drink. I know for me I remember distinctly it was around 10 weeks sober when I got my first relaxation experience from the tightness in my chest I usually associated with & used alcohol to unwind. I suddenly found that just coming home away from the stress & cooking some food totally chilled me out without a bottle, for the first time!
Talking & letting the steam out consistently helps me to right up to Today. Shoot, Brother.. What ails you, Friend? Danielle x
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
Mmm, my language is very (very very) colorful, but my typing? Not so much, haha! I use alot of symbols as I mouth the words, if that helps.
Perhaps it's something someone here can relate to and help with? got a sponsor?
For me, frustration is a trigger for my mouth to "over communicate" my feelings. And frustration (again, for me personally) is usually because something is beyond my much cherished control. Or even better, there's somebody else that doesn't cherish my control nearly as much as I do. So, frustration= a phone call or a meeting, since a loss of control over the people and things in my life is a sure fire way for me to lose control over lil' ol' me. And I know where that will lead. So, perhaps sharing here will help. Just yell while youre typing..... warmly, Chris
I get that way and then sometimes I don't cuss. When I do cuss I know I just let what it was I was afraid of win the round. I hang with a lot of recovering guys and gals that over time become more attracting than rejecting with their program personalities. I know for me that one of the reasons I swore and used profanity was to drive others off and keep myself in captivity.
I use to also swear and curse because it was easier to do than think and say what I was really feeling and thinking. It took me 30 years to practice and learn how to quietly share thoughts and feelings in recovery.
This is an honest program...so what am I honestly trying to say?
Keep coming back Mark...practice, practice, practice.
Mark, certainly I have cursed some on here and not had my posts deleted. I just try and not make it so foul it would offend the average person. Anyhow, like Daniella said, the important thing is to share what is going on with other alcoholics. You can pretty much cuss all you want to your sponsor (heck, I have even cussed mine out, but that's a different story and I wouldn't suggest that lol). That seething frustration is pretty common in the first months and even years from what I hear. That is the typical withdrawal pattern people are used to seeing when we sober up. You are doing good though and keep hanging in there.
Mark
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
If you think it might take some steam off, go for it. We have our Dean, that will just edit out the any words that might offend some.
What I did at that time, I had a Mac Computer, and a Drawing program, and instead of online, well they did not have online then, that I knew about, I made a Picture Galary of all the folks that were my top offenders, hence,Raging Resentments. And I would make up a characture of their face, and under them I would type in the darkest biggest print, explantives that would make anyone blush, sometimes using words that I had never even thought of using, so when a thought of any one of those Resentments crossed my mind and would not leave quickly, I would go to my Computer, pull up that Program, and those characatures, and sit and laugh my ass off.
Now I look back at that practice, and realize it was just a lot of very dark energy that had to get out of me, if I wanted to be free of them occupying my thoughts. That computer is long gone, and to this day, I sort of wence at the thought of any person getting access to that. I deleted the Program, but as they say, nothing is ever really deleted from a hard drive.
So good to see you here posting whatever is going on, good or bad. Expressing what is going on, verbally, written or using one of those big Boxing Leather bags.... we need to get it up and out of our systems. That's my take.
When we slowly apply the Steps of this Program, doing the Steps slowly, acknowledge our Higher Power in EVERYTHING in our lives, that is when the need for screaming words of %#$%&%#$*&%#$.... at whoever, eases up, and passes.
A Big hug and thank for such a rigorously honest Post. Toni
PS, re read this post, and it brought back a favorite memory for about 10 years ago.
A woman in the meeting made this funny statement, got a good laugh. She said, When I came into these rooms, and heard the word "F--k" and GOD in the same share, (of course not together) I KNEW I was finally HOME.
Toodles, still makes me laugh.
-- Edited by toni baloney on Monday 17th of August 2009 10:31:33 AM
Well let me just speak for myself... I'm a recovering drunk asshole who learned every swear word in the book and some not in the book from my dad who may not have an alcoholic body, but sure as hell has an alcoholic mind. Nothin' you can say will be likely to offend me (at least not the actual swear words)! And if someone does get offended, well isn't that their problem and not yours? This is AA baby, you're not in charge of other people's feelings!
(Of course that doesn't mean you should go through life not being considerate, but I think in general AA meetings are a pretty safe place to vent and use whatever language you feel like using when you do it.) Online is probably no different, and in fact it's better because in real life you can't take back words once they're out of your mouth, but here you can edit your post! Or if it was for some reason completely out of line, a moderator can do it for you.
thanks for your advanced understanding FS
-- Edited by StPeteDean on Monday 17th of August 2009 06:22:07 AM
What are the rules here? I'm so frustrated and mad, I WANT to cuss...What are the rules here??? I really want to drink also, but i KNOW MY rules on that.
I don't want to offend anyone here, but I also wonder, what could I possilby say that one wouldn't hear at a bar? Usually, this would be a challenge to me, but not tonight. With the respect I have for you all, I wouldn't want to offend you. Where IS the "line?"
Hey Mark, (and all) I think that you can your point across well using symbols or a combination of symbols- **** it, or @$$. Emoticons are useful to and theraputic. We don't want run off newcomers with offensive language or otherwise give people outside the program ways to negatively define us.
There are no set of rules here. The places is governed at the discretion of a few moderators. We did and can have group conscious meetings and establish guidelines for posting etc... per the owner of the board, and we have had one such meeting to discuss the posting of anti-AA material (at my request). I will probably edit the F word if I see it and maybe a few more. So don't make me come up in there.
i say leave it on the street ... besides, it's more therapeutic for me to try to figure out "nice" ways to type curse words. Sh!t. Cr@p, etc.
F-Bombs irritate me ... it seems the mentally derelict resort to this word over and over when they have nothing intelligent to say.
That being said, i'm no prude ... but i think part of AA is self improvement ... and using words that may insult, offend or upset a member is not improvement in my book.
And frustration (again, for me personally) is usually because something is beyond my much cherished control. Or even better, there's somebody else that doesn't cherish my control nearly as much as I do. So, frustration= a phone call or a meeting, since a loss of control over the people and things in my life is a sure fire way for me to lose control over lil' ol' me. And I know where that will lead. 
