Dear all, still going to meetings, have not lost the compulsion to drink though, had a hard time yesterday evening, had to sit on my hands quite a bit, anonymity is a big issue at our meetings with people breaking it, I am not as bothered about it coming out that I am an A as what I was, probably because it didn't really bother me that I fell out of the pub most nights when drinking but I'm going to jump the bridge when it comes, am cancelling a social engagement on thursday night saying I have to go somewhere else, can't face temptations at all,find that very taxing but my fellow members assure me that this is ok early in recovery and that I do need to be vigilant about playgrounds and playfriends,
Aloha New...thanks for the share!! That confirms that what I am also doing is what has been working. By the way I've been in the rooms for a long long time and I still have the compulsion. The art work for me comes in not doing anything to increase it or forgetting anything to react to it. "Get and use whatever is available to you to gain and maintain your sobriety." Wisdom from a sponsor aroud the 80's.
Thanks for letting us know how you are doing. As far as meetings, where some do not honor the Anonymity, just gets on my nerves, as in Annoying, from people that really shoud know better. ( Just a thought, how about next time when you go, ask if you can pick the Topic, and ask that it be on Anonymity) Just thinking out loud.
But so great to hear you are staying away from any "Slippery Places" so very important about you using that Vigilance.
Once many years ago, I was coming up on my first ever 6 months, no meetings just me, trying to not drink, on my own, true Recovey was still so far away, but anyway, I accepted an invitation from a man that I knew, on a Holiday, he invited me to go to a barbecue at his house. When I got there, did not know he was a drinker, not an Alke, just offerred me a glass of wine. And I was feeling very creeped out at my own choice to spend my time with him, as opposed to just being with myself, I just said yes, give me a glass too.
I was at the time feeling very good about my accumulation of time. and then in one split second, it was gone. of course I went right back to drinking.
Cunning Baffling and so Powerful, Treacherous is how I see it, and it can come on so fast, and we need to Guard ourselves from those situations.
You sound good and happy to see you here. The last time you Posted was about taking it easy and slow, have you found anyone that you think you want to ask to Sponsor you, did you ever get that woman's phone number, the woman that you really liked talking to after that meeting??? Hope you did.
Please keep coming back and letting us know how your one day at a time Program is working for you, ok?
A Big Hug, Toni
-- Edited by toni baloney on Tuesday 4th of August 2009 05:29:27 PM
Hey Lorna, The drinking was a learned behavior and now NOT drinking has to be learned as well. When you work the program, it really does become managable and then, it actually is comfortable not to drink. When you are really "with" the program, and the spiritual aspect overtakes you you actually can lose the desire. The problem is that it is a devil of a disease (a banshee if you will) that will try different avenues to get you in an out of spiritual condition. Hang in there and you will find peace again. Tom
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"You're in the right place. That's the door right there. Turn around."
Thanks guys, really appreciate the support, cancelled the social engagement, lied through my teeth I'm afraid but was desperate not to get there so what can I say,
Just to add to tohers comments, you are doing sooooo well, at the start you do have to focus on sobriety as number one, i've just passed 19 months without a drink and social events can still be tough.
But it sounds like you are doing absolutely the right things - 'one day at a time' of when it's tough take it hour by hour,
I completely avoided all social functionings in which there might be alcohol. I avoided people I knew to be heavy drinkers. I did not go to any bars and still have not in the last 10 months plus. I did go home over the last weekend to see my family. There was alcohol at a family party but my purpose in being there was to see my family and the last thought I had was of bringing alcohol into that. It didn't bother me that it was there. It didn't bother me that others were getting kinda drunk. It just was not an issue. This is not to say I plan to go back to bars and go party with drinkers now. That's just not my thing anymore. I do attribute getting through the earlier months 1 through 6 especially...partially to not going around any of the places or doing the things I did while drinking. I did not even watch TV for the first few months because I did that drunk too much before...I basically had to learn how to start enjoying the little things sober and slowly add to that as time has started to go by. That's just my experience though. Hope it helps.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
