Don't be fooled by me. Don't be fooled by the face I wear, For I wear a mask, I wear a thousand masks. Masks that I am afraid to take off. But none of them are me. But don't be fooled. I give you the impression that I am secure, That all is sunny and unruffled with me, Within as well as without, That confidence is my name and coolness my game, And that I need no one, Don't believe me, Please!
My surface may be smooth, But my surface is my mask, My vaying and ever concealing mask. Beneath lies no smugness, No complacence. Beneath dwells the real me, In confusion and fear, In loneliness.
I idly chatter with you in the suave tones of surface talk. I tell you everything that's really nothing, Of what's crying within me. So, when I'm going through my routine, Please don't be fooled by what I'm saying. Please listen carefully, and try to hear what I'm not saying, And what I'd like to be able to say, What for survival I need to say, But what I can't say.
Only you can call me into aliveness, Each time you're kind, and gentle, and encouraging, Each time you try to understand because you really care, My heart begins to grow wings. Very small wings, very feeble wings, but wings.
With your sympathy and sensitivity, And your power of understanding, You can breathe life into me, I want you to know that. I want you to know how important you are to me, How you can be a creator of the person that is me if you choose to. Please choose to. Do not pass me by. It will not be easy for you. My long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls. The nearer you approach me, the blinder I may strike back. I fight against the very thing I cry out for, But I am told that love is stronger than strong walls, In this lies my hope. My only hope.
Who am I, you may wonder. I am someone you know very well, I am a hurting member of your family, I am the hurting person sitting beside you in this room, I am every person you meet on the street. Please don't believe my mask, Please come behind it to glimpse the real me. Please speak to me, share a little of yourself with me, At least recognize me. Please ... Because You Care.
A long time ago when I was in treatment for depression(suicidal) (about 20 years ago), we had this read in one of our groups.
I was a teenager who was always feeling isolated in my pain until I heard this (havent heard this since but always remembered it) I was able for the first time to feel a bit closer to others. I always thought that I was stuck with these emotions and that others weren't. Because they seemed so together and had these perfect coping skills.
Thanks for this share. This reading saved me from isolating and brought me closer to the human race and made things obtainable, gave me hope that I was one of and could "compete" in this world.
Just amazing how things have changed since childhood...thanks for the trip into my past so I can appreciate where I am today. It is so funny how I could forget that life used to be something I hated to become something that I find rewarding.
