Back from vacation

MDC · Senior Member

Back from vacation

StPeteDean · MIP Old Timer

hey Mark, glad that you didn't drink. get busy, stay busy, and buy some time. It's a lot easier to stay sober than to get sober and it gets easier as time goes by.

Sobrietyspell · MIP Old Timer

Welcome back, Mark. Treasure your Sobriety Date & keep coming back. You know what to do & you know you want to do it ;) Great to see you again. I had been wondering where you were. Happy Sober Day Just for Today :) Danielle x

MDC · Senior Member

I do know what to do, but...Why did I buy it?? I know my family situation isn't the best. I know I have a stressful job...Why waste $7 to pour it down the drain? I'm worried that next time I won't pour it out. How does a habbit from the past just pop up like that? Still not sure about plastic bottles,, LOL.

BeerIsMyPoison · Veteran Member

Hey!

Congrats on the vacation & staying sober! Where did you go to? That's very respectable that you are working 60 hours/week! You're a hard worker! Keep up the great work!

MDC · Senior Member

We went to visit my "wife's" family. It's still a struggle. I think my wife only likes me if I'm drinikng (although, it's the reason we were seperated.) If she on;y likes me drinking, and I only like me with her.?!.? Where do I stand???

I have to be sober for me, I understand that, but I don't want to lose them.

We had a great time on vacation, maybe I think too much. I just like FACTS. I hate you, I love you, grass is green. anything but mixed signals. ?????????????

StPeteDean · MIP Old Timer

Hey Mark, just because you don't drink doesn't mean you can't be you anymore! Your wife fell in love with You, not the drinking you. I mean it's not exactly that simple, but once you get over your love affair with booze you can have a lot of fun being sober, even with your wife.

-- Edited by StPeteDean on Saturday 1st of August 2009 10:23:38 PM

Dave Harm · Senior Member

A lot of relationships suffer when one quits drinking. The one reason is because the non-drinker is used to the drunk. She knows the behaviors, she knows the rules. It's basically a whole new person in their life and it brings up a lot of uncertainty.

I caved in and went back to drinking. Five years later I was divorced. And then I started a second time with AA and it was a lot more painful then the first. For me, the reality was that I was scared to be on my own.

I would do anything to save my marriage - except be myself. In the long run it worked out for the best but I threw away some sobriety for that fear of losing her. Just worry about you, the rest will take care of itself.

On another note - if you buy another six pack - don't throw it down the sink, throw it on the garden. You wouldn't believe how sweet tomatoes are if every now and then some beer is poured on the ground, or how big peppers get...

StPeteDean · MIP Old Timer

Dave, don't tell him that, it'll give him a reason to buy the beer

.

Mark, Have you seen the insurances commercials "Life comes at you fast..."?
Well so do relapses. They come on hard and strong but only last for few minutes.
It's what we do in those few minutes that makes the difference. If you think about drinking, you should instantly pray, pick up the phone, and go to a meeting. It's that simple. Mark I guess that you still need to stay out of stores that sell beer. I had to do that for the first year. The town that I got sober in (Arlington, Va.) I had lived in for 25 years and had been in all the stores, gas stations 10,000's of times. I'd go in the grocery story for milk and cereal and wind up standing in front of the beer cooler out of unconscious habit. Then my brain (disease) would kick in with "oh maybe we should get some beer, we might need that"

Make a conscious effort to stay out of stores that sell booze, and if you have to go to one, steer clear of the booze section. Pay attention.

This is why we need to replace these old bad habits with new good habits, (in addition to meetings and calling people in the program) such as recreation sports, hiking, working out, joining a club, and trying to do these things with other recovering people. You'll be surprised how much more ownership (membership) you'll have of the program and
and your program when you get busy with a network of friends in AA. Men's (and Women's) meetings are a great place to create these relationships because of the bonding that goes on in there. Find a Men's meeting and go every week.
See a guy in there your age that look's particularly fit and healthy. Go up and introduce yourself and ask him how he got so fit. What you might hear is "a group of us AA guys go mountain biking a couple saturdays a month, If you'd like you can join us". I fell into a few fellowship groups like that (softball, bowling, motorcycle riding, scuba diving, frizbee golf, along with the go out for breakfest/dinner after the meeting groups, and the restaurants where AAs gather on certain friday or saturday eves. AA clubs makes these things easier to find, sometimes through bullitin boards, and often the announcements at the end of the meetings. Asking people about extracuricular activities works too. People that have been around for awhile usually know the who, where, and when of it, even if they themselves aren't into it. Get busy with it.

-- Edited by StPeteDean on Sunday 2nd of August 2009 08:26:06 AM

jonijoni1 · MIP Old Timer

Mark, glad to see you here and sharing. Pour those out, and stop hem-hawing about it! Who cares about the measely $7???? I probably wasted $70,000 on alcohol, debt problems, fines and lawyers' fees while holding on to those shitty containers of poison, glass, plastic, tin, who cares what they came in.

You have been missed here. Glad to know you are doing ok right now. Relationship BS is all relative (no pun intended). We are here to try to turn that stinkin' thinkin around.

Have a good sober week!

toni baloney · Senior Member

Hi Mark,

We talked in PM about your vacation, so just happy you are Posting again, so good to see you here.

Well I have to preface this with my own fears....currently not yours.

About those moments when any Alcoholic will NOT have a HUMAN Defense against that first drink, that is what came to my mind when you talked about wanting to buy it and then just smelling it as it went down the drain...... Followed by following the Programs suggestions of what to do when the desire to drink tries to takes us over, we can get through those moments, with God's Help, and talking about it in a Meeting, or with another recovering alcoholic, we are spared the disaster of going back.

I have a blessing of seeing a Skull and Crossbone on any bottle of Alcohol, just like the one that - Beer is my Poison - has as his Avatar. Any alcohol is Poison, pure arsenic to me.

Again these are my feeling about how I would feel if I purchased alcohol, in any form, that the Disease was waking up and setting me up to distroy my life, and all the good things in it. No longer doing push ups in the parking lot outside the Meetings, had managed to crawl right thru the door and crawl right into my own skin, and subconscience mind.

Mark, that saying of Keeping Sobriety first in EVERYTHING if we want to keep it, means everything.........no person, place or thing, in front of our Sobriety, we lessen our chances, in my case, would distroy any chance of KEEPING IT.

Mark, you and I have a Disease, an obsession of the mind, and a physical allergy to the body. The Disease is life threatening and the Progression of the Disease is one that keeps growing in us, whether we are drinking or not. That one was a hard one for me to digest at first, like how can the disease keep progressing if we are not drinking?, then I watched some people I loved in the Program return to drinking and not come back, and it was so much worse for them, that where they left off, from when they first came in to the AA Program.

I consider you one of my friends here, a very dear friend, so hope you will allow me to just air my thoughts to you, and my impression of you buying that 6 pack..

Hugs and Love, Toni

MDC · Senior Member

I'm doing better. I don't know how many of my "issues" are real, vs. in my head, just thing too much. I did pour the drinks out, didn't realize they were good for the garden...It wouln't really matter at this point, the deer have pretty much ruined the veggies anyway.

Thanks everyone. It's good to be back. I still don't completely understand why I bought that, other than an old habit...Time to get my head out of my...and get to a meeting.

Thanks,
Mark

pinkchip · MIP Old Timer

Mark, good to see you coping and gaining some insights. I can say (in my opinion) the only reason this happened is there hasn't been a full surrender yet to the disease and the fact that you need AA in large doses. What would you do if your wife only liked you if you if you smoked crack every day...if you punched yourself in the nose every day?...the list goes on. None of us here is perfect...far from it, but the further you stray from AA, from what I have seen now a gazillion times in just 10 months, the closer you are to that drink. I just got back from seeing my family in Annapolis...my first stop other than to check if my cat is ok...a meeting. After that, thankfully a movie with sober friends. I went 2 days without a meeting, though I did stay in contact with my sponsor and several AA friends. This is all going on while I just had yet another sucky break up...but whatever...AA is a constant for me. I need it daily or I will go out and self-destruct...most likely from drinking and who knows what else I might add to the downward spiral this time if I am not careful. I can tell in your writing that you are feeling better about yourself. Just don't let that be a trap to ever think you are cured. You are growing into a better and better person each day that you don't drink and continue to work on yourself. If it winds up that your wife doesn't like that...Oh well. What does that say about her if she really likes Alcoholic Mark better than sober Mark? Is that the wife you want to hold onto so badly? You are making good strides...just continue to be brave, work the program and have faith that you are going to be fine without the booze and with whatever comes your way each day (relationship-wise, job-wise....all of it).

Mark