Thank you firstly for all your responses. I did try to drink tonight, in the end I tried not to. It is a struggle all the time. I guess I have finally 'remembered' to hand over to my higher power, eventually and in the nick of time. Like I said , I have a short memory.
I realize after what Rick said that It does not help to imagine that things can be ok if I can hide it or if I can moderate it, deep down I know that at some point one lonely sad night I will be a drunken fool. I hope that I can start to realise before the self pity sets in that I need to be sober to be myself, not the other way around.
Thank God that I do not have the desire for a drink this minute.
I know that the honest truth is that when the tough gets going I crumble and that is awful
Suzy, I posted below before I read this one. Soooooo you answered my question about your higer power, yes you have one. I'm glad you are turning to God today. He will see you through if you keeping turning it over to Him. One day at a time, that's all we need.
