Dear all, I am new to this board and have only slowly woken up to the fact that I have a serious drinking problem. My life is quite a mess. I am full of fear and feel very vulnerable at the moment, I will be starting meetings this coming week as I know I would not make it without them,
Welcome to the board. You'll find, over time, that this is the easier softer way. After awhile you'll look back and say "what was I thinking". Most if not all of the problems that you're having right now, I've had or someone on our board has had. It's funny how almost all of them seem to go away or cease to be a problem after we quit drinking "one day at a time". It's suggested that "newcomers" attend 90 meetings in 90 days in order to get into the habit of staying sober and out of the habit of drinking in all the various situations that we drink. I would suggest a meeting a day for a year, to insure your sobriety and get through a calendar of holidays, seasons, and events, that normally trigger drinking. It's like learning how to live life all over again sober. It's fun and it's interesting once we decide to change our mind about how we look at life. It's all about our missed perceptions and our disease brains dysfunction. It does heal and it takes time. Trouble is that the body recovers so much faster than the brain and the brain says "I feel really good, I Must Not Be and alcoholic..." So we go to meetings daily to remind us that we are, until we get some automatic replies going in our brain.
You have chosen a great place for support. While your post states you are full of fear, you have just taken a fearless leap by admitting a problem and putting a plan of recovery into action. Congratulations because some people never even get that far. There are a lot of posts on here at the moment about fear...some of them are mine...We all have fears...One thing that I have been pretty much fearless about the last 9 and some months though is my recovery. Hit meetings, soak it up, get in the middle of AA, enjoy fellowship, try and find a sponsor, claim your seat and hold onto it like your life depends on it...because it does. That sounds like a lot...but I also want to tell you that all you really need to do is hit that first meeting and have a willingness to come back and the rest will fall into place. People in AA will look out for you as long as you keep trying.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
From across the seas, and Welcome. Fear and vulnerability, is the emotions of all of us when we walk in those doors, i say that so you can feel you are not alone.
Someone, I think Jonijoni, referred to the Disease yesterday as the underlying emotion of all active Alcoholics, and that emotion lingers, and with the AA Program, and the 12 Steps in Recovery from Alcoholism, we learn how to manage them, and watch as Fear turns into Faith. Faith and Fear, cannot co exsist, but it is a lot of work, and the work all seems possible, with the People that we listen to and how we begin to feel, finally, not alone for the first tjme in our lifes.
Hugs to you, and looking forward to seeing more of you. and Congratulations on making it to this Point, pat yourself on your back for that, please.
Toni
-- Edited by toni baloney on Sunday 12th of July 2009 10:17:19 AM
Welcome Newcomer and congratulations on getting here. Another good reason to attend the 90 in 90 is it forces you to become familiar with all or most of the meetings in your area (depending on the how populated the area you live in is). You will find that some fit you better than others and it lets you know at a moments notice where the nearest meeting will be if you find yourself needing one. Don't be discouraged if the meetings don't feel natural at first, I don't know many people that immediately felt comfortable but I know a lot who grew into them as they grew into living a better, sober life.
As stated, this forum is a great resource. Use it and good luck.
My first AA meeting was a leap of faith, and I did a rudimentary step 1, 2, and 3 that first day. I knew I was powerless over alcohol, because I no longer could stop drinking even for one evening. I came to the meeting, because I came to believe it was a power greater than myself that could help me. And I made the decision to turn it over by walking through that door. Nothing has been the same since.
So we go to meetings daily to remind us that we are, until we get some automatic replies going in our brain.
