Was just having morning coffee and reading some of the post this morning when I realized in 5 days I will be celebrating and remembering 6 years ago.
Tuesday July 14th is my AA Birthday, and well I am so glad that I'm sober today and greatful for being here. A couple of things came to mind this morning, 1 was that I posted and share and the other thing was my mothers aniversary of her death, I still remember that like it was just yesterday. Figured that's part of the reason I'm still sober.
Monday July 14th, 2003 was the day that would change me for the better and made me stronger today,,,
My kids were living with my mom, and it was hell I was having a hard time coping with reality and what the problem was.............
But here is a little back ground into my story, I was married and well it seemed to be what I thought Was healthy the fellow was the step father of my 2 children. My mother thought that it wasn't healthy the way things were progressing in the home and decided to do what she thought was best for the situation.
The CAS was called and my children were taken out the home and place with my mom, and well that didn't go over well and the main reason they were called so I thought was in regards to my now exhusband's drinking problem and behaviour to ward the kids.
Anyways getting back to July 14th, and I truly believe that was a day of positive, that was the first day in months that I sat down with my mom and well we were on the same page, we actually were talking like to normal people without harsh feelings.
She had just brought up the kids laundry and sat for a tea, after about half hour she had a few things to do and left. I told her I'd phone and so I did about 1pm to let her know that laundry was done, at that same moment I thought of makin a beer run, while that didn't happen.
Called my mom at 1pm this day and my son said she wasn't home, so waited and called 2 more times after that and thought it was strange for my mother to be gone for that length of time. At 1:45 pm I called back down and spoke with my son, at that very moment I had a gut renching feeling something had happened and knew there was a problem by sides my drinking. As I got off the phone with my son, there was a knock at the door. It was 2 police officers at the door, and they'd come to inform me that there was an accident involving my mother had just got hit by a dumb truck on the main street where they were working.
At that moment, I felt like a person who'd just got hit them selves, and my biggest thought was my children. I had to pull it together not for only myself but my kids, apart of me was empty. We'd went to my brothers place of employment and that's when we were informed that my mother died at the seen from the impact.
That was also one of the hardest things I ever had to do was explain to my 2 children that their grandmother wasn't coming back. So throughout that week, I had a decision to make and well lets just say that by the day of the funeral on thursday I buried my mother, left the relationship, and kept my 2 kids out of what could've have been a bad situation for them and quit drinking.
By the following monday, I was a mess and went to my first MEETING, it took me a long time to really understand where I was and it wasn't easy. But I kept coming back and today I'm so greatful for that. I'm able to deal with what life has to throw my way without having that Drink, and some of the dealings hasn't been easy as of late but I'm getting through it....
Today I have a better relationship with my children and we have a open and honest relationship. And work through our problems together and I can feel the respect and admerasion (I think I need a spell check here lol) from both my kids and I'm greatful for being able to be the parent that I am to the best ability for them. I've told others that the reason I keep going back is for me, not to win a popularity contest, its to work on me and who I am weather I have who agree with me or disagree.
Thank you guys on the MIP Board for being here and to those at the meetings that helped me so much.
And I thank My HP for walking beside me when the chips have been down with out that God onlys where I might be.
Hugs and Good Day
Tina
-- Edited by Tina on Thursday 9th of July 2009 09:35:45 AM
That was a lot to take in, as in "quite a story" and so happy you are back with your children and that life is being good to you.
Sorry you lost you Mom, that way, that is very sad.
hope you'll come back here and share more good stuff with us.
Hugs, Toni
We are all so BLESSED to have this Program of Recovery. And i am so happy you are a part of that "we" We can do this together, love that feeling, out of that lonliness and isolation, that goes with the Alcohol.
hope to see you soon, ok?
-- Edited by toni baloney on Thursday 9th of July 2009 07:58:03 PM
