newbie..it's been a longtime coming

jesstastic · Newbie

newbie..it's been a longtime coming

FlyingSquirrel · Senior Member

Keepin' my fingers crossed for ya.. hope you can manage to get yourself to a meeting. They say that the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking, but the fact of the matter is nobody has a clue whether or not a person has a desire to stop drinking. It's certainly not something that could ever be enforced, and in reality there is not a whole lot of "enforcement" involved in AA - it's such a voluntary program. So just show up and listen, and if they call on you to speak and you're not ready, just say you're there to listen and they'll all be perfectly respectful and understanding of that (we've all been there).

BeerIsMyPoison · Veteran Member

Hi Jessica,

Welcome aboard! You made a great choice coming to the forums. You should get to a meeting tonight! just simply search your city and state here, and you'll find meetings close by:

http://www.aa.org/lang/en/meeting_finder.cfm?origpage=29

Everything will be fine! We're here for you.
Ty

-- Edited by BeerIsMyPoison on Monday 6th of July 2009 08:33:13 PM

kkotz401 · Senior Member

Welcome to the board. I too didn't start becoming a habitual drinker until I was 20 or 21. I have found this board helpful and think you will to.

natshen · Member

hi , i just wanted to say hi , and i think it is completely courageous that you are here and looking for another way to live , even if right now your not sure what you want or need , you know that drinking cant go on .

ive been there where you are and it seems like a black hole , it gets better , if you work it , it works.soon the black hole is filled with light , and when you let the light shine , there can be black no more.

natalie xxx

StPeteDean · MIP Old Timer

Hi Jesica and welcome to the board. I can relate to everything that you've said. Both my parents were alcoholics and I started drinking when I was 8. I was a daily drinker by 15 and having blackouts at the time on. My drinking never got any better, no matter what I did, it only got worse. I went to my first AA meeting then. It wasn't until I had a child that I became interested in getting sober. I didn't want him to grow up with an alcoholic father like I did. I was able to get sober by the time he was 2 years old and now he's finishing college.

I also thought that my life would never be the same without alcohol, but I was so very wrong. Alcohol was holding me back from doing a lot of things (starting my own business, traveling, buying houses, skiing, scuba diving...) and it was systematically taking things away from me (marriage, job, drivers license, freedom...). This is the only disease that tells you that you don't have one. It's a mental obsession combined with a physical addiction and extremely tough to beat without help. That's why we go to meetings, to remind us what happens if we begin drinking again.

I you call your local AA intergroup office (number is in your phone book or online), you can ask them lots of questions about the local meetings, groups, groups with younger people, AA clubs (which I highly recommend for frequency of meetings) and you can arrange for a woman to take you to your first couple meetings so that you won't have to go alone and she'll introduce you to some members. It's very important to make some friends in the program to be able to call when you get an urge to drink so that they can help talk you through it. And it'll take about 90 days to get a new mind set about life without drinking and about that time your perception of life and the world will begin to change. You'll become intereseted in things and activities that you could've cared less about because they didn't include alcohol.

Good luck in your new journey.

Dean

Here's a link to the Book Alcoholics Anonymous that you can begin reading free
http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_tableofcnt.cfm , and here's a book that I highly recommend that you read so that you can understand all the things that work against someone, with a drinking problem, trying to get and stay sober. You can get it at amazon ($8) or any book store.

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/518yR7mWjuL._SL500_AA240_.jpg

-- Edited by StPeteDean on Tuesday 7th of July 2009 05:15:48 AM

cramcj01 · Senior Member

The one thought that was the hardest for me to overcome was....

'How can I possibly ever have fun again without drinking?'

And it's a hard one. I felt like I lost my fun, my energy, and the courage to open up and have a good time. And I still have thoughts lke that, but they are slowing getting better. You will find that deep down, you are actually quite a bit different, and may enjoy things you never thought you would have. Just think of the many days that have lost from hangovers. They just aren't worth it. Just give sobriety an honest chance. You will be very suprised!

The thing that always gets me is that I could die tomorrow. I don't want to die a drunk. I need to give this a fighting chance. Stick to it, and you'll do great! smile

joelo · Senior Member

Hi Jess,

Welcome to the board. You've gotten through step 1 - you've admitted you're powerless over alcohol and that your life has become unmanageable. That is SUCH an important step.

i recommend getting a book and WORK THE STEPS. i cannot stress this enough. Four years ago i had 16 or so months of sobriety - but i was just a dry drunk. My attitude stunk, and i didn't work the steps and i started going to meetings more infrequently. Now i'm in my second go'round in AA and i'm 32 days sober (going pick up my 30 day chip tonight)

If you private message me, i can recommend a free workbook that i got online to guide you through the steps, and a book i bought for $20 that is also great (i'm doing both right now).

Do it for YOU ... not for your fiance or your kids, but for YOU. The fiance and kids can be a reason that you are doing it for you (i.e. you want to be a sober, loving MOM and SPOUSE).

You are in my prayers.

joel