Sometimes I have trouble seeing the forest through the trees. Finding gratitude in simple things is difficult at times. Someone suggested thinking about what I am grateful I don't have now after almost 9 months sober:
Grateful I dont have:
Dry heaves every morning Vicious hangovers Constant pain in my bladder More wrecked cars The inability to pay my bills Zero friends No structure in my life Chaotic work relationships No ability to choose what I do with my time Expensive bar tabs Humiliation over how I acted A desire to die Constant crying A rapidly escalating over dependence on anti-anxiety meds Inability to take care of any of my own affairs The feeling that nobody in the world cares about me or understands me A crazy alcoholic partner that was dragging me down Extremely poor judgment Very poor boundaries No spirituality at all No purpose in life No interest in my fellows Injuries that I don't know how I got Open containers in my car Constant worries about being pulled over by the cops Regular worries about losing my job Going in to work late cuz of being hung over Letting my coworkers down Wondering how I will get through the day so I can go home and drink later Sleeping at my desk at work and praying I don't get caught doing that Feeling like a huge hypocrite Being resentful at so many people all the time And most importantly, I am not dead
This list is sooo much easier and it does keep me aware of the progress I really have made. I think it's a good exercise for a newcomer because these are things that go away faster than the good things you build up in sobriety. Just my thoughts for the day.
__________________
Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
'these are things that go away faster than the good things you build up in sobriety.'
Wonderful share! Thank you, Mark. It's amazing how all these things can seem to slip away unnoticed. They certainly have for me as I've always kept the arrogant view that it was absolutely normal, paramount & obvious that I would evolve naturally. Y'know, just because I'm ME!! Besides my self-pity I've got a superiority streak to the core too & wasn't able to see the mess & unmanageability caused by my own defective thinking. Lots of things have disappeared from my life & in my pride I often can forget how it was, taking so many things for granted.
My life has so much peace in it today. It isn't perfect. I'm not perfect & I won't ever be but I am glad so much it is progress, not perfection & I don't have to be a saint though so often I have tried!!! lol If I can be me, you can be you & with love & tolerance we can all get along together. I don't have depression or mental illness in my life today & That is a Massive Blessing. I don't have loneliness or humiliation or hate in my life today & I'm really glad I don't have to be competitive today or try to make anyone like me. What a freedom. Thanks for reminding me, Mark. Godbless, Danielle x
__________________
Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
