The A.A. way of living is not an easy one. But it's an adventure in living that is really worthwhile. And it's so much better than our old drunken way of living that there's no comparison. Our lives without A.A. would be worth nothing. With A.A., we have a chance to live reasonably good lives. It's worth the battle, no matter how tough the going is from day to day. Isn't it worth the battle?
Wow, did that one strike home. I actually just fought off a "pressure test" by going to the Big Book and read this in the 24 hr a day little book. Its the same advice that I gave someone here reciently, and although its easy to give the advice, sometimes its difficult to take it all in. This gig is not for sissies. It is not a perfect life, but it is "reasonably good" if you can stay sober. There is no "perfect life", so to me, "reasonably good" is great. It is an adventure in living that is really worthwhile.
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"You're in the right place. That's the door right there. Turn around."
Your Post made me thing instantly about the opening line to one of my all time favorite books, The Road Less Traveled, by Scott Peck.
The opening line is, "Life is Difficult" and when we accept that fact, it take on a better chance of living a good life. Did not go get the book to quote exactly the following words, but that was the idea, anyway.
As an Alcoholic, life is pretty darn good when I look at my options.
"My worst day sober, beats my best drunk day" hands down.
Thanks for this Post, and it does get easier.
Hugs, Toni
PS. For those not familiar with this book, it is about non alcoholics, well for the most part, that give themselves over to the care of a Phychiatrist, and shed their old ways of thinking about a God of their understand, one that was taught to them, not by choice, but by their own families religion or history, into a Higher Power of their very own, that they choose to call God. This book is not AA approved, but the similarities are very amazing, and they are able to be relieved of the neurosis or disturbance that was going on that led them to the Phychiatrist in the first place.
-- Edited by toni baloney on Thursday 18th of June 2009 12:30:18 PM
I really don't know what's "hard" about it. I always thought that this Is "the easier softer way". For this alcoholic, my life is better than I had ever dreamed it would be. Just being self employed for 20 years and not have to listen to a boss or coworkers.... is awesome, not to mention no rush hour traffic and If I want to take a "mental health day" there is no one to call and ask. I know that that's for everyone, but it's there if you want it. For sure, being sober opens up endless possibilities that were not there when we were drinking. I was in one of the trades most notorious for alcoholics, the construction trades. Many of us hide there and get trapped. Where else can we go where we can show up hungover and drink at lunch ect...? Today I can consider any job that I'd be willing to work for. Live the lifestyle that I'm willing to work for. And with goals in mind work is not something that I dread anymore, it's something that I'm grateful for. Sure the first year or two in the program is taxing but after that it just keeps getting easier.
Well from now on not going to respond to Posts, cause I tend to get sidetracked so easily, before my coffee......lol!
My experience with it being difficult in the beginning was that first, I was still detoxing from Alcohol, it has been said that that is part of the Physical part of detoxing and it can take up to a year.
But for me, the BIG turning point, where life began feeling easier, was after completing my Fourth and Fifth Steps. Getting out...forever...all that fear based stuff, and very old toxifc stuff, first writing it out extensively, and then the uplifting came after taking a Fifth Step with a Profession Counselor....it was a truly amazing feeling having all that removed, forever, and did not have to carry around that old toxic stuff that felt like very heavy baggage. That was the first uplifting, then with doing the Amends felt also such a clearing so to speak.
With each of the Steps, I began feeling closer and closer to my Higher Power that I choose to call God.
My own relapse history was grab a sponsor, do the 1st, 2nd, and 3 Step, all of course in a few weeks, not digesting any of them really, and then so much fear would enter, and I would find myself drinking again. I used to call it that ole One, two, three, Drink.
So just wanted to say that for me it was the working of the Steps of this amazing AA Program, that changed my life into a life of freedom from Alcohol, and also the Dread of Drinking again. But it is a daily maintenance thing and have to be aware of the Steps, and keeping my side of the street clean always, and giving back to others what was so freely giving to me.
We are never recovered, that is for sure, but the Steps and the continual working in the Program, just improves the chances of never going back.
Great stuff guys. St Pete Dean, That was an interesting responce about life actually being easier if you are sober! It is true. I guess the difficult part the 24 hr a day book was refering to is the trials and tribulations we go through to get to the point where we trust the program and let it work for us while we work the steps. You reminded me of a story by Robert Heinlein called "The Tale of the Man Who Was Too Lazy to Fail" It concerns a 20th-century U.S. Navy cadet who manages to move up the ranks while avoiding any semblance of real work by applying himself wholeheartedly to the principle of "constructive laziness". The bottom line is that to succeed, all you have to do is work hard and don't work against yourself. Great point. Here is a link to info on the book. Its kind of a fun read. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Time_Enough_for_Love
-- Edited by turninggrey on Friday 19th of June 2009 02:11:00 PM
__________________
"You're in the right place. That's the door right there. Turn around."
Hey Toni, I still have a copy of "The Road Less Traveled". It was given to me in college after I stopped drinking (the first time) by a friend who said that what I was describing in A.A. sounded like what the book was about. I just skimmed the book because I already had a program that was working for me, but I may dust it off and read it! Thanks, Tom
__________________
"You're in the right place. That's the door right there. Turn around."
I have that book next to all my AA literature. It has some chapters dedicated to Disipline, and my favorite that I go back and re-read a lot is the Chapter on Grace.
We all live in HIS Hands and HIS Grace, can you imagine where we would all be without that GRACE entering our own lives. We would all be under one big fat flower field, my opinion.
Great stuff guys. St Pete Dean, That was an interesting responce about life actually being easier if you are sober! It is true. I guess the difficult part the 24 hr a day book was refering to is the trials and tribulations we go through to get to the point where we trust the program and let it work for us while we work the steps. You reminded me of a story by Robert Heinlein called "The Tale of the Man Who Was Too Lazy to Fail" It concerns a 20th-century U.S. Navy cadet who manages to move up the ranks while avoiding any semblance of real work by applying himself wholeheartedly to the principle of "constructive laziness". The bottom line is that to succeed, all you have to do is work hard and don't work against yourself. Great point. Here is a link to info on the book. Its kind of a fun read. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Time_Enough_for_Love
-- Edited by turninggrey on Friday 19th of June 2009 02:11:00 PM
Thanks I'll check that out. Especially interesting since I was born on a Navy base and Dad did 28 years USN CDR RET RIP Arlington.
Personally, I found it very difficult to drink and suffer from my subsequently unmanageable life. I had trouble maintaining jobs, places to live, cars, licenses, bills, relationships.... Just trying to keep up with all the lies I told trying to cover up for the above was a full time job. I remember paying so much in late fees, tickets, reinstatement fees to the DMV, car insurance for SR22 and we're not even scratching the surface on what I spent on drinking and drugs. How in the world could anyone view that as "Easier"?
If you ever decide to read that book, and like it, his follow up book," Further Down the Road Less Traveled" is more relevent to Recovery. He has a Chapter in that book, on Alcoholism. the Chapter is Called: Alcoholism.....The Sacred Disease.
He unfortunately died before his time, and I always felt he was just like a young Carl Jung. He loved to go to meetings, and said in his book, and he was a drinker, but could stop when he wanted to, but sometimes he wished he had a drinking problem, so he could become a part to this Program, from the things he heard, and the people he met.
