I know we had a post about this a few days ago. it's easier when you're not the one hurting. I found a Doc. that believes in pain management, not pain killing. I don't want to impair my judgement, or get a "buzz, " at what point do we just say "I need relief?"
After my back sugery, I was on everything, demerol, loritab, oxy, ect. I don't want or need to be there, but I NEED relief. I can't get in to see my doctor and I'm not really sure what to do at this point. I could roll one up and get a good night's sleep...I know that isn't right...a bottle of wine and a couple of oxy's, nope. What is left.
I really don't want to be impaired, I just want sleep. When I first stopped drinking, I would take 4 or 5 tylnol pm's, it too just caused more problems. I know I have to be very careful, especially being this new. I don't want to mess up.
I can't see my doctor until next week. The ER will just give more pain meds, I have enough of them here to sell for a nice vacation...not that I would. Does anyone know of any non addictive, non-mindaltering thing to relieve pain?
I WILL talk to my doctor ASAP, but until then, just suffer and call it part of growing up and trying to beat my disease? I do agree with my docoter in that pain is telling your body something is wrong and we should just do enough to make it "bearable" but at the moment, it isn't. Life also isn't bearable being impaired, where do we draw the line?
I know it would be very easy for me to be drawn back into addiction, or using everyday. I don't want that. There is at least 6 months, after my sugery, that I can't tell you anything about. So, what do we do?
-- Edited by MDC on Thursday 11th of June 2009 09:21:54 PM
Have you tried a Tenz unit? I really like mine. Getting in a hot tub every day does a lot of good. Both without chemicals. The biggest problem I see is people with back problems carrying an extra 20 or 30 lbs. around on the gut. That's like 60 lbs. pressing straight down on your back. Most people aren't interested in lifestyle changes, they just want to take a pill of lay on an operating table. sorry I got carried away.
-- Edited by StPeteDean on Thursday 11th of June 2009 09:39:58 PM
That's another slippery slope for me. Having painkillers on hand would take me out pretty fast. I only know that because whenever I had access to them, I abused them just like everything else. Not judging here cuz I abused klonopin at the same time as alcohol and I know that is a big part of the reason things got worse and worse. I told my psychiatrist my (prior to admitting how much I was drinking) that my anxiety was getting worse...which it was. He increased my Klonopin and then I was really off to the races. Wasn't really ready to face that I had anxiety because of being drunk all the time and having no coping skills for dealing with life and reality. I guess all I have to say Mark is you need to be acutely aware of what you are taking any med for. I hear you talking about not sleeping. They don't prescribe painkillers for sleep. It's for pain. Is this unbearable during the day? Are you sure what's not unbearable is staying away from drinking/drugging until passing out like all of us did pretty much for so long? Gotta be honest with yourself here. Oddly, I threw my back out for like the first time ever this week and it's been killing me. I should have had this before when I really had a massive alcohol gut. Ibuprofen seems to be helping. Sleep comes when sleep comes. I think that's early sobriety and it will come back to you. It took me 3 months to get 1 good nights sleep and I still have issues with it on and off. Also..as of late...my back hurts in the day when I am up and moving...not laying in bed so that makes me wonder even more why you think painkillers should be necessary at night and for sleep. You've always been pretty honest in your shares so far, something seems missing in this story though. Also, you said you took all "your wife's" pain killers recently...not yours. And...this is the first I heard you talking about back pain being ANY reason for drinking. Not trying to sound nasty, but really I just don't want you to fall into a trap whether it's really from real pain or from your mind playing tricks on you. We are all vulnerable to that.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Aloha Mark...this is very close to my story also and before I got into recovery I was on a major number of prescripts and drinking and running alot for exercise. I tend to overdo stuff LOL. Then I got a new neurosurgeon who took me off of ALL of the meds and I panicked. "What am I supposed to do about the pain?" I whined and he advised "Learn to live with it." Then he left the islands and I was left with a new mindset which was completely surprising to me. "Learn to live with it" turned into seeing it as if I was "Living with my brother". The pain became that close that I expected from when I woke up in the morning until when I went to bed in the PM. When I expected it the pain became a normal part of my life and I stopped fighting it. When I stopped fighting it I found I could relax even when my spine was hurting and when I relaxed the pain lessened more. There were lots of things I liked to do like hike, swim, dive, water ski, run and play volleyball...all that stuff is hard on the back if I forget that I need to stay relaxed.
Later on a I got a book on psychocybernetics by Maxwell Maltz (I still have a copy) and I learned a lot of alternative thinking, visualization, beliefs and behaviors. I also did alot of Hatha Yoga exercises in there also along with Williams Exercises. I still do all of this stuff as needed and many times not because of my back. My surgeon refused to cut me even after two milograms and a discogram that gave us an excuse to do it. I am so grateful that he was falling away from slash and gash therapy and challenged me to either follow the suggestions or go get another surgeon who needed the money. My cousin went the other way, the surgery, and at this time is sitting up in the forest completely addicted to meds and illegals, and buying batteries for his implant which needs to be replaced every so often. He has his paper...the justification for medical marijuana but still has to manipulate the oxycontin and such and wheel and deal meth. I have a great deal of compassion for him or anyone in that kind of pain who get addicted to the "usual" therapy.
For me when the pain starts it's come on, it doesn't take me very long to either diminish it or get rid of it completely if I give myself the moments.
valium, darvon, darvoset, percodan, percoset and of course asprins at levels my neuro told me that "most people can't even stand up under the load you're under much less walk, talk and breathe". Of course I was to learn later that I am a chemically tolerant person and that explained the alcohol overdoses.
Give the alternative methods some thoughts and practice.
(((((hugs)))))
-- Edited by Jerry F on Thursday 11th of June 2009 11:59:23 PM
Hey Jerry, In early sobriety I found a box of motivational tapes that someone threw out. In there was a strange tape called "psychocybernetics for winners". Most amazing tape in the box. It talked about the mind's "automatic goal seeking mechanism" and how were all wired to accomplish great things, and that the thing most of us lack is the skill of setting goals and writing them down. I'm pretty sure that that tape is one of the main reasons for a 7 figure net worth today.
Ice is excellent for spasms, Use it as much as possible, usually recommend 3x/day but more if there is exacerbation of spasm. And Physical therapy, do the exercises once past the exacerbation. Ice is wonderful therapy for back pain.
I have DDD and a dispondant neck fracture. Here's what I"ve run into:
BECAUSE I drank for so long I have altered my brain receptors, therefore I do not respond to medications like 'normies' do. I've been under a pain management specialist since last October and guess what, "management" is going to include drugs!
The first thing you need to do is find out your prognosis. Mine is I"m going to live with this pain for the rest of my life! Therefore I opted to take the chance and take narcotics. I wasn't a drug addict before and I have no desire to become one, sooooo I take ONLY as prescribed, I stay in close contact with my doctor and he only writes the script for one month at the time. I also do things like yoga, when my body will let me. Meditation also works wonders. Try ICE packs ~ Much better than heat. Things like BioFreeze give temp relief also.
Hang in there. I know too well the angony of chronic pain.
((hug))
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
Hi Mark, long time no "see"... had a busy week. Sorry to see you are in so much pain. The main thing I have been told is that I am NOT a doctor, and as an AA, I don't have the right to judge someone else's medical treatment, or what their doctor is prescribing. But there are a lot of folks around here who have been there and done that with the back prob's, and they probably offer great advise, including that of alternatives to major narcotics.
The only thing I can offer is that my dad has a TENS unit which has done him wonders. But it takes time, time he was willing to commit to it before he felt some real relief. Also, nothing wrong with trying cortisone shots. A lot of athletes get those, and find great relief. A friend of my husband's got his bulging discs trimmed away as well, and is fine now. Have you gotten any help from a physical therapist or massage therapist? Just some things I am throwing out there. I do know this, that you never know if alternative medicine works until you try it.
How have you been, other than this?
Joni
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
I had my sugery in '98. It was my last option...I'm able to walk, run and work. After my injury, befoer sugery, I was stuck in bed for a while. I went through the physical therapy after the sugery. It's been about 11 years now. I'm so much better than before the operation. I have some pain everyday, but I'm just happy to be out of bed! From time to time, it "flares up" and is unbearable. I do the exercises and stretches, I've tried the tenz unit, it helped a little. I'm going to the doctor next week to see what I can do for the flare ups.
Other than this, life has gone on. I'm still working on my relationships, still working on staying sober. I'm at home with my wife and kids, and hope to be able to stay sober and stay here.
Mark, saw your post and have been wanting to respond. I originally thought that you had just had surgery recently, but now I see that it was done years ago, which may or may not matter, with regards to my comments about to follow:
First of all I sympathize whole-heartedly with you. I have three bulging(not ruptured so far) disks in my neck, I think it's C-5, 6, and 7. Out of the blue about 5 years ago I experienced horrific pain as a result. It was really life altering. I realized that prior to this experience, I had no concept of severe pain and what it's like to live with such suffering.
I initially pursued traditional medical approach, vicodin, MRI and started with physical therapy. I elected to think of surgery as a last chance option. I hated taking the vicodin. The muscle relaxants helped a tiny bit. As I wasn't sober at the time, I ended up drinking heavily. I went from a few beers to 1/2 to 1 liter of alcohol per night, within weeks. The funny thing was, most of the time, the pain was so bad, I was rarely drunk, even after drinking a lot. I now believe this consumption got me to AA quicker than if I had never had the neck issue. That said, I AM NOT RECOMENDING ALCOHOL AS AN ANSWER! (in case my story's message is confusing).
I knew the alcohol and painkillers were functioning as thin band-aid. I ended up trying different therapies. A combination of them end up being sucessful. It took about 5 months, much less time than predicted. I still have flare-ups on occasion, but not so bad as it was originally. When I do, I get out the Hometrac unit I bought, may be this is similiar to the Tenz? I still get regular chiropractic care and massage when I can afford it. This year I have commited to regular exercise (carefully choosing the type, currently walking and light belly dance(great for the back, adjustments are down 25%). I've also taken off some pounds, and this has helped too.
At the time of my intense pain, I did acupressure 1/week, chiropractic adjustments 1/week, physical therapy (included massage) 1/week (later every other week), and daily use of the Hometrac traction unit after work. I experienced a turning point after going to the local free clinic and seeing a pain specialist that volunteers there. He suggested I trash the Vicodin (pretty useless anyway), and gave me Neurontin to try. It's not a opiate, painkiller. It was originally designed for epilectics, and works on nerves and synap function I believe. Well, although it did make me a bit drowsy, it was great. The nerve pain "buzzing" calmed down enough to send a message to my messed up muscles that it was OK to relax for once. I ended up taking it for about a month or two. Then everything started to get better.
At one point I even did energy work. This was a weird experience, however, it really did alleviate pain. I hope this essay has something that makes you feel a little better. Please don't give up your sobriety unless your life is at stake. I do know that despite my emotional happiness, at one point I wrote a suicide note and intended to follow through because I felt I couldn't deal with the pain. That day, I called my friend as a last resort, who got me a methadone pill. I'm glad to say I'm still here, but I yes I am an alcoholic, so if I were at the same point again, I would call the pain specialist I saw before. He is totally opposed to prescribing pain band-aids. He encouraged me to find a way to connect with my body and really listen to what I needed, a holistic approach of sorts. He works in conjuntion with acupressurists and accupunturists. The experience was like combining medical treatment with energetic and emotional assesment.
Hope all this helps someone, I appreciated being able to relive all that I went through before.
