Lots of triggers today....my work has a dang bottle of Kahlua on the pantry shelf,,,i actually had visions of tilting it all the way back!!!! Holy crap...no one at work knows of my addictions....i'll only have been there for three months on the 16th of this month and don't feel comfortable sharing where i go for coffee on my days off...therefore don't feel comfortable asking for that bottle to be removed....when i'm at work i'm the only one there. The bottle was brought for a birthday party for one of the residents...i think it was put into a dessert...which thankfully i found out it was in there and didn't eat any of it...its the closest i've been to alcohol in all of my days in recovery so far. ugh. that bottle was larger than life tonight at work...scary
To be quite honest I have days where I feel like a drink would take the edge off. So I say out loud to myself or my husband that "god, I can use a drink" or "this calls for one" triggers are few and far between thank god. I just play that tape out and know that just one will have me chasing more and the outcome isn't pretty. I just try to remember that it's normal to think about it, but then i reevaluate me and slow down quickly. Saying it out loud allows me to hear the stupidity of the thought...it really sounds like a stupid thing to say. So it's good to vent and be honest, i would rather do that than actually get drunk. heck that is why we need meetings through out our recovery...no one said we get cured.
god bless ...just wanted to relate my experience with thoes moments.
Things happen,bottles appear, beer is offered, etc. I may be a bit unusual but I sobered up with liquor on the shevle. I don't recommend this, But I did it. The BB tells us when we are spirtually fit we can be around alcohol. Nothing wrong, but I don't try to test it. People places and things are more important to me. I was offered beer the other day. Have to say NO! Sometimes I have to think the drink thru. Never drank one. So where Am I headed? I've proved it enough. Sometimes it just surprises me when it hits me. The look of a cold one. When I least expect it. A daily reprieve if i'm spirtully fit. Ran to a noon meeting yesterday. Things were nuts. The monkey was bowling. This too shall pass.
Wendy, Welcome to the real world, you said this the first time you have been up against this type of thing, since being sober. As I read your post I had visions of you with your feet firmly planted to the ground watching that clock....you passed the test.This will not be the last time these test come along,I just have to know that today, I will not take that drink that will interrupt my sobriety, my recovery, my serenity, my sanity,and I do admit it is not easy. I look at the commericals, I see the people in the resturants having a glass of wine , I am offered a drink at functions and I just have to realize, No, I can't.
I had a friend call me the other night, she was at her job, alone , opened the fridge and there was a beer. We talked for awhile, and she told me later she passed the test. Thank God.
Today , I choose not to drink, this minute, this hour. You made that choice , good for you! Is it appropriate for there to be alcohol at this work place???? If not, someone should remove it.
