I was away from the internets this week (dial up in the mountain trailer isn't working ). I certainly missed you guy and gals. Lots of activity and a rare appearance from John our founder. Hello John, and class of '89 represent!
-- Edited by StPeteDean on Sunday 7th of June 2009 06:31:43 AM
Yes, exciting times at MIP & much has been happening while you were away, Dean. Glad you're back too :)) I've been through an interesting experience & I'm feeling much better. My young friend returned to the house today having been weaned off after a two week relapse & now has a Community Psychiatric Nurse & Case Worker supporting her in finding a suitable residential rehab for her dual-addiction with food. It is such a relief.
I know it is still 1Day@aTime & she could lapse again at any point but I am staying hopeful. I suppose the worst thing for me is that I have been finding it hard to get on & concentrate on my own stuff whilst shes been sick. I couldn't even do my homework for the subtle guilt I was feeling in not being able to help her. Very cunning. I ended up having drinking thoughts! Me?? lol
I'm kidding. I know I have an alcoholic mind & such thoughts are natural for any alcoholic on any given day. It just brought home so many reasons why I want to continue in staying sober no matter what. If she relapses again I will have to be extra stubborn & singleminded to get on with my own stuff no matter what.
That is hard but a necessary learning lesson. Tough Tough Tough but I guess what it also means in being a selfish program. I can only help if I actually CAN help & it has been ASKED for. I've been learning about what it means to be willfully interfering & that it is NOT up to me. It has been hard to let go of feeling responsible for her but it was insanity making.
I've been learning how to let go. Maybe in future I might have a better idea on the practicalities of such a situation in order to offer &/or get help but this was my first experience of it & I had to stay detached for the sake of my own illness. It's been said a few times on here now that it is wise to get a sponsor with at least 10yrs or good quality sobriety & I know for myself now why that is. I have swallowed my pride ;)
Great to see you back, Dean. You're so wanted, needed & loved here@MIP, Danielle x
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!