I am glad to have a sponsor who impressed upon me the importance of meeting with a newcomer or else I would have missed this experience.
I was at a meeting last week, and we read tradition 5, which is powerful in itself. The meeting, as they seem to tend to do, strayed off in various directions.
One guy shared about his struggle with the obsessive thoughts of drinking. This guy has been around for a few months, and I know him a little bit.
Then a newcomer pipes up, sharing how he is just getting back to AA. The guy is shaking and clearly very upset (like a lot of us were on day 1) and it was quite clear he needed help.
I had to make a choice. Try to help guy #1, who is battling alcoholic obsession of the mind, or try to talk to the newcomer.
It didn't take me long to decide. Guy #1 has been coming around long enough to have heard that we have a program that will help him, if he wants to go through with it. But, he just wants to keep coming to meetings and hoping the miracle will happen by sitting in a chair for an hour a day. He hasn't said that verbally, but his actions say that quite clearly.
So I went and grabbed the new guy as soon as the Lord's Prayer wrapped up. We talked, exchanged numbers, and I could tell that he was glad to have made a friend. We talked a few days later and it turns out that we are very similar people, especially where character defects are concerned. He is struggling in some areas that I have made considerable progress in, so it's clear to me that it was my job to approach this guy.
Who knows if I'll end up taking the newcomer through the 12 step process, or even if we will have a lasting friendship. But I believe that God puts people in each others paths for a reason and I know some of you guys and gals know how great it is to be able to help a newcomer. To be able to share experience, strength, and hope with a guy who is in bad shape and then see him smile just a little bit is MAGIC.
As far as the other guy goes, I was going to try to talk to him as well, if I had time after I was done conversing with the new guy. But when I looked for him I saw him walking down the street with someone else.
I am grateful to have opportunities to do stuff like this. I am at a place in my recovery in which I make a bee line toward new guys after the meetings. Not to whack them over the head with the Big Book, either, but mostly just to make a friend. This kind of stuff keeps me sober and it's what was done for me! Not only does it keep me away from a drink but the new guy benefits too (if he wants). My sponsor has helped me to see what a powerful double-edged sword that is.
Someone told me that in order to keep my sobriety time, I have to start giving it away. Hence, I have my second service commitment and just chaired a meeting of about 50 people. A bit nerve wracking, but very rewarding....especially considering it is a beginners' meeting and 8 months ago I was the person in that meeting with 1 day.
__________________
Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Well I could repeat every word of what Dean said, but I will just say, "ditto" There is a reference to the new people as the "life blood" of the Program, and that to me is so very true.
Just like this Board, and all the new people, makes this MIP come so very alive, thank you for your Post.
Toni,
PS Miss you all very much, Well my eye surgery will be in 10 days, so then I will be back, responding to all the wonderful new Posts by the new people and all of you.
