just got back from a 2 week holiday 'in the real world'. I was nervous about this as it was my first holiday ever on my own but I was invited to a birthday party at a camp site with some friends in Germany and decided to go. Ferry from hull to Zeebrugge overnight, motorbike looking like a badly loaded camel (I packed the Big Book, daily reflections and As Bill Sees It and used them all!) - first issue - almost every public area on the boat was adjacent to a bar. However, remembering what it says in the big book about going to wet places if you have a reason, after I ate dinner, I got out of there and retired to my cabin. 7 hours by bike through Belgium, Holland and down to the Mosel valley, arriving in a downpour of biblical proportions I met up with my friends Jurgen and Manuela. After a tearful reunion (I hadn't seen them for 5 years.), eating some Goulash Soup, I put the tent up and then had a bottle of orange fanta (a soft drink) thrust into my hands. Thoughtful (J&M know I don't drink anymore.) Introductions made and a sit round the camp fire for a bit. Others were drinking but it didn't bother me at the time.

Saturday and the day of the party, around 60 people were there and I helped with the barbeque (around 30 kilos of pork, pan fried potatoes and salads.) As the only native English speaker with very limited German language, I was within myself and observing much of the time. They started boozing around 2 pm and again no problem for me. Amongst the 60 or so people, Jurgen and Manu were very protective, as was Manu's brother and his wife, but the most of the rest of them couldn't get the crazy Englishman who was drinking tea all the time. There was one guy who was one of us with 6 plus years under his belt, but no English, and one of us in training who kept pushing me to have a beer - no thanks, I don't drink alcohol was my stock response. He pushed and pushed with but why - I replied with Lifestyle choice, allergy, don't like it and finally finished with because I'm a recovering alkie. To which he said but I'm an alkie too. Yes, but I'm one that doesn't drink.

Sunday 0630 and up watching the mist burn off the hills, listening to the retching and farting when I realised that today would be more of the same. I had to get out as I was finding it stupid, boring and glum! Who'd've thought it! This set the tone for the next week, they drank themselves to a standstill, I did my own thing, went for walks, did a bit of fishing, tried to find a meeting (well found one but it was on an American airbase and they wouldn't let me on as I wasn't military, fair enough I suppose, but just making the effort to get to a meeting helped.) took a day trip to Luxembourg, visted the odd castle or two, returning in the evening for the evening meal and a trip on the river on one or other of the power boats. Every evening the alkie in training collared me to ask why I don't drink and how do I do it - a great oppertunity to carry the message - I noticed that as the days progressed, he tended to start drinking later and finish drinking earlier (bit drank quicker, so he ended up just as drunk as normal). By the end of the week he confessed that he didn't enjoy the drinking but wasn't ready to stop just yet.....so maybe when he's ready, he'll remember the crazy englishman and his mug of tea and maybe he'll take a similar path to me.

I finished my holiday off by going up to Brussels to spend a couple of days with my sponsor who's working over there. We stayed in a hotel, did the tourist thing around Brussels, took in a couple of meetings and then I went home. That was a very relaxing two days, I felt really comforted and comfortable being among us.

What have I learnt? I can enjoy a holiday by myself. I need to keep AA and my sobriety at the forefront, I need my meetings, I need to talk with other recovering alkies. If I feel uncomfortable around drinking I need to get out of there. True friends understand and support. The whole German trip reminded me of how I used to drink, that I saw holidays as an excuse to drink myself to a standstill and that drinking myself to blackout is a stupid, boring and very sad activity for me. Being sober is liberating. I met people I wouldn't have met, saw and did things I wouldn't normally see or do and I can still be crazy like a fox when sober and enjoy it (and remember it)!

In a couple of weks I'm off up to my brother's in Scotland for his 60th Birthday party, a family gathering and I'm looking forward to it. Now that's a first too!