Just wanted to share a little experience I had today...
I'm a few weeks back from a blip and am finding a great deal of inspiration and strength from meetings and this forum. I have mentioned before, I really never thought I would pick up again, but it just went to show how cunning this illness is... although I also realise that prior to this happening I believe I lost my contact with my higher power.
I am incredibly grateful to be back and this time I am humbly doing all that is suggested to me. I go to as many meetings as I can, I do service (which I didnt do before), I call 2 people from the fellowship each day and I am reading the Big Book (which I hadnt done for a while either).
I also have come to see that when I don't have a conscious contact with my higher power I very easily become angry, angst, irritable, restless and worry excessively about things I have no need to panic about - projective thinking about things to come in years and years ! (it is actually quite ridiculous sometimes)
Anyway, today somebody said something that upset me and I got very wound up by it, for hours in fact! I was very resentful and angry - it kept going round and round in my head. I drove to a meeting and thought Im going to get all this off my chest and tell everybody EXACTLY what I think of this person, blah, blah blah...
When I pulled up at the meeting, there was a newcomer.
They'd never been to a meeting before and they seemed very apprehensive and unsure - we've all been there. I introduced myself and showed them around, explained the format and sat down with them and instantly all the stress of the day disappeared. How on earth can I get so wound up about something somebody said that was so insignificant !? People are still suffering and reaching out for help. And actually, all my worries are just nothing in the grand scheme of things. It really helped me put things into perspective!
I'm not sure if I am explaining myself well, but I was so grateful to be in a position where I can even begin to think about others, because that certainly was not the case a year ago !
I came home and prayed (for the first time in a long while) I asked for guidance to be of use, to others, and gave my very sincere thanks for everything I have in my life. I find it quite easy to forget about what I have to be grateful for and I forget that this fellowship has helped give me something I NEVER had when I was drinking - and that is PERSPECTIVE.
Yep.. Trust in God, Clean House & Help Others.. As Joni says, tis Hard to be H8ful when you're Gr8ful ;) Keep up all your wonderful work.. Tis doing you wonders. Thanks for being here :) Danielle x
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
That's what I describe as the "Bill W" experience, Sabby. The decision to go be of help to others rather than get into self in the bar. No you didn't mention a bar but you did mention a resentment which could have just as historically led you there.
I smile at your post with the understanding that I can sometimes loose contact with God, my HP, but my HP never looses contact with me. Your will was to go to the meeting and vent and your HP's will was that you tend to the needs of a new comer. Marvelous!! I'll keep coming back for that.
Hey Sabby, I slipped away from my Higher Power as well. I sort of used a "selector ray" in our relationship. It did not work. Its funny how our Higher Power holds no grudges and welcomes us back with warmth.
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"You're in the right place. That's the door right there. Turn around."
Glad to hear that the meetings have been helping you. I too have found a lot of help from this board and from talking to other people who want to stop drinking.
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You have to live life to the fullest because you don't know what you got till it's gone.
