I've just had broadband connected here at home, and I'm sooo glad, because being here on this board is really important. I've returned from a meeting tonight (my first in a few months) to which I dragged myself in desperation following a horrid horrid weekend binge (my second, and I hope my last, slip). It wasn't a local meeting (I was out of town) which made it easier because I wasn't ashamed, as I know I will be when I see my local fellow AAs. But that, too, has to be done, if I want sobriety. And I really do.
Now I'm back at home, alone, with several vodka bottles in the cupboard. I know they're not all empty. I've just shut the door, because I know I if I go to dispose of them now I'll probably open one (or two, or 3).
I know what I have to do. I feel like 6 piles of poo right now, and very very sick, but I know a drink won't help. Thanks for "listening", guys. I need you!
About those bottles, do you know anyone in the AA program, if you dont, could you find a good friend that would be willing to come over, and empty those bottles for you, and be sure that there are no other hidden bottles anywhere. other room. I feel that is really important.
You said you have been to some AA meetings, well there are a lot of people in the same shoes, having just come out of a binge or drinking, so dont feel alone in this.
I would go to meetings, after being away for a while, drinking all the time, and would do an about face and go back to AA. and just like you would feel I was the only one there that was going thru what you are now going thru.
Happy to meet you, and looking forward to more Posts from you.
Welcome to MIP, Georgie. You have my Mum's name too :) If you do have a friend you can ask to help you pour those bottles away I'm sure you'll feel amazing & truly empowered afterwards. We had a newcomer in our meeting a few days ago who had a bottle of vodka in his pocket. He'd been drinking & it was his first meeting. He pulled it out at one point & showed everyone & talked about how much he hated it but was at a loss. He was quite chaotic & scatty but his desire to get well was there. He left the room & we could hear him talking in the other room with my boyfriend Carl who was doing the tea.
When Carl came back in he gestured that our newcomer had poured it away. It was so powerful. On a sad note I offered to help my flatmate pour hers away today but she couldn't. She looked awful & it was making her sick but still she couldn't do it. It was heartbreaking but I had to let go & step back too. If you've the will & strength to do this I'll be deeply impressed but of course you might not be able to without help. Goodluck whatever you decide. I wouldn't like anything alcoholic in my cupboard talking to me from afar ;) Keep coming back :) Danielle x
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
Welcome Georgie! how was your meeting? I know how you feel because I have recently come back from a slip but am so grateful for the support I get at meetings and here. Somebody mentioned quite rightly that we tend to over complicate things ! and i certainly relate to that - it is a simple programme really isn't it? I know I just need to get back in the swing of things and do service, keep in touch and reach out to people, which I didnt do before... So glad you are here and all the best ! Sabby
Georgie, Welcome! I do hope you made it to your meeting. Many people slip during early sobriety, it's very common. I had many slips over the first three years of trying AA. It's not until I started to loose everything, including my soul, that I surrendered and became willing to work the program. I'm inspired when someone gets up to get a 24 hour chip, because I been there and don't want to go back. You're helping people in that meeting even if you feel less than whale sh*t. A friend of mine picked up a 24 hour chip the other night and tears came to my eyes for the first time in a long time. Tears of gratitude and joy.... Your needed here, your wanted here and your loved here.... Keep coming back.
