I saw my "Carl Jung" this afternoon (you would never believe how much this Dr. reminds me of Jung!!), and he has prescribed a lifestyle change for me.
I have been worrying about my level of stress and exhaustion lately, and was asked when I get up in the morning. "Oh, 5:30". When do you go to bed? "Midnight". BINGO!!!
I have been officially prescribed that under no uncertain terms should I be staying up on work nights! I am to go to bed at 10pm or 10:30, latest.
I also have been told that now that the basics have been addressed (medication regimen, sobriety, etc...) for the past 6 months (when I sought help SOBER to avoid another blow-out due to PTSD/depression)... now I need to start eating less sugar, more meat, and very little bread. Waaahhh!! Now THAT is a prescription that may be a little harder for me to fill. LOL
Wish me luck. But it is great to be sober, and able to modify certain habits. These sometimes seem nearly as hard to give up!! Just another way that, for me, recovery never stops. There is always another issue to tackle, and it presents itself when I am ready to take it on. I am ready to take this on, on day at a time.
For this alcoholic (and drug addict), sobriety and REAL recovery has depended upon a steady course of moving forward and getting help, and helping MYSELF in more ways than just retiring the goblet, the paperbag and the paraphernalia. I have had to seek medical, mental and spiritual help in all sorts of ways, in addition to first getting THE AA program to work in my life. But it has all been happening in its good time. Easy Does It, and not all at once, heavans no!
So, walk with me please, as I resist the urge to zone into the tube til the wee hours, to grab that extra hunk of milk chocolate, to skip breakfast and eat peanut butter and jelly for dinner because I feel too lazy to throw a chicken breast on the barby. I had/have to work the 12 Steps FIRST, but then there are other stpes there too for a reason, at least for me, because I am NOT satisfied in JUST being sober. I am here on this planet to live the best life I can, and doggone it, I am going to do just that, or die sober, trying.
Love and hugs, crazy mixed-up and sometimes complicated, but SOBER... Joni
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
Sound advice there, Joni :) I think I'll pass it on to Carl if he's interested. He's working 6 x 12 hour days a week, getting up around 5.30 & rarely asleep before 11pm. He's always been a hyperinsomniac in the past but he is slowing down in his sobriety. He's currently undergoing intensive treatment for HepC which is a drain on energy but he looks after himself well with regular & full meds along with milkthistle. We'll know in a month's time if the treatment is working & whether he can continue with it otherwise it's stopping & waiting for medical science to improve which they say is happening all the time anyway so fingers Xd for a pos+ result.
Goodluck being good with you. Yoga & non smoking have got to be great life preservers in there too! All of these are joys in recovery. To have the ability to thoroughly self care & improve our usefulness to ourselves & others? Fantastic :D lol Thanks, Joni :) Danielle x
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
I'm glad things seem calmer, even though you got "a new perscription." I saw my doctor this week too. Wondering why I hit a funk of depression. Well...I was only taking a half dose of my meds. I need to stop literally interpreting step 2 regarding god removing my insanity. He has removed my insane drinking behavior and through that greater mood stability has occurred, but I gotta keep my expectations low so that gratitude stays high. I look foward to getting out of this kind of screwy unstable mode and getting to some fine tuning with regard to my life. I also do not eat breakfast or lunch, smoke like a chimney, and drink tons of coffee. None of these are healthy. Anyhow Joni, wishing you continued Serenity! Mark
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Thanks Dakota. I have gotten feedback multiple times about beating myself up and being too hard on myself. I often wish I could go into my brain and remove that part of myself and like pound it to death with a hammer. I'm trying to let go of falling into self-pity and negative thinking. I am making progress, but it's slow. I would like to be able to wake up and thank God and be grateful each morning, but I still wake up and the first thing I do is go "how am I feeling today?" "Am I depressed?" "What's wrong?" "What do I need to fix?" "What am I not doing right?" In some ways life felt simpler when the only question was "How am I going to make it through work with this bad ass hangover?" Fortunately I guess I deeply know I cannot live that lifestyle anymore because it doesn't work. I know all the sayings such as "Easy does it" "Feelings are not facts" "This too shall pass"...furthermore, I have an assload of training in cognitive behavioral therapy and I recognize my "stinking thinking" and "shitty committee" all the time, but that does not change it from going off. I guess the good news is, I'm spending far less time dwelling in dark places and that is because of AA and all of you. So for that, I am grateful in this moment :)
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Pink, you have such a good way of describing where you're at at a given moment.
We are at opposite ends of this. I once in awhile think to myself, "I wonder if I should be critiquing myself a bit more (inventorying myself to death), because I really do not do much thinking about that right now, not so much as earlier on at least. And too much, or too little of a good thing is not so good! LOL
Ahh, well, such is the uphills and downhills of recovery, and a dedication to self-appraisal.
I guess what I'm saying is that you sound just about as neurotic about this as I do... and that's ok today. It all sure beats living like a drunk, eh? We are both in careers where we help and "assess" other people, and we know all too well how to do just that---- assessment----. We can either use this skill as a baseball bat on ourselves, or a way to avoid. Good thing we never "graduate" from this, eh? We might actually feel balanced once in awhile..... ha
Take care and have a Grande weekend!
Joni Balogney >:0))))>
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
