Until we admit awareness of a problem or a character defect, we cannot possibly let it go. Steps 4 & 5 apply here.
Attitude ~
This is the Willingness A. Do we justify our thoughts or actions? Do we want to keep doing what we are doing & get different results? We must not only be willing to let it go. We must stop hanging onto it. This is Step 6
Alternatives ~
What are the various actions or inactions that we might employ to have our defect removed? One of these certainly is Step 7. Talk around trusted folks. What have they done that worked? Do some more research (not the experience of repeating the defect, but the learning variety).
Attunement ~
This is the first action. Because it is so vital it has its own A. Take Step 7 & ask God to relieve me from my defects of character, habits that are incompatible with His path for me, wrong thoughts & actions. Take Steps 2, 3 & 11 every day as often as I can. The payoffs in AA are wonderous, but they come in phases.
(a) We are no longer drunk & we are delighted
(b) We discover a magnificent fellowship to which we can belong in acceptance & grace
(c) We are reconciled with our families, our work & our neighbours & we are grateful
(d) We come to kow who we are & we become whole
(e) We know & love the perfection of the Spirit within us & we are awakened to the truth of the Universe
Action ~
In Steps 8 & 9 make a plan for amending the past & do it. Implicit in this is my discontinuing to reinforce the defect by not practicing it. Privately forgive all those whom I still resent. As a result.. guilt, shame, remorse & self loathing will be removed. Select a promising alternative & put it to work. Keep at it. If appropriate, keep a notebook in my pocket to record relapses (of the defect, not the drinking, we hope) & retry until I see real progress. Associate with persons, places & things that will reinforce my growth. InStep 10 revisit all 5 As. Through Step 11,follow the direction of God in your Life ~ My Life! And be a changed person as I get into Service to my fellows, especially suffering Alcoholics.
Taken from The Big Book Bunch @ http://www.sober.org/
(Let it be a God or Higher Power of your own understanding)
I want to share this with you as I'm finding it useful in helping me in my Recovery & Journey through the Steps. Thankyou everyone here for all of your continuing love & support too. This hasn't been easy but as one of my favourite sayings go ~"The work's hard but the wages are good" ;) Thankyou for your good examples to me >>*
Yours as ever in Fellowship, Danielle x
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
Thanks so much, Danielle!! I am drawn to the "Attunement" one, as I was thinking about where I am at in those a-e phases. And I truly believe I waffle back and forth from d-e at this point. How awesome is that!!?? Wow, you never realize how far you have come (and how far you have to go) until you sometimes sit down and analyze it, with the help of others and their better vision, of course.
And so far as the "Alternatives", I certainly see here every day, talk of how "trusted folks" are getting through bumps in the road.
This is terrific stuff here, Danielle, and I appreciate your sharing it! You have over time shared many things that made me sit back and think and come to some really helpful and positive conclusions. You are a real keeper!
Thanks again, and hugs, Joni Baloney
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
Good Stuff!!