My name is Barton and I'm an alcoholic and an addict. I had 10 years sobriety until I started taking pain medication. I'm off the Tramadol but now I have a nasty and horrible addiction to cough syrup. Generic Robittussin DM brand. Today I have hit rock bottom and I want to get back to my life again. I'm scared and I don't want to die. It has affected my skin by drying it out really badly. I feel as though there is another person inside of me making me use this horrible crap. I'm really mad at myself.
hello there barton. I'm pretty new here also. i wish i had some profound words for you just now all i can say is your certainly in the right place. If you want to sit here and just talk alittle to keep you from picking up that cough syrup tonight ill sit with you a little bit and just talk some.
Aloha Bartist...Getting mad at yourself probably won't help you get off of the cough medicine. If you have a home group and a sponsor it would help from my experience to let them help and support you. We learn that alcoholism (alcohol addiction) is a compulsion for the mind and alergy of the body...sounds like your cough medicine condition huh? I also came to learn that I have that physical condition that can only be arrested with a spiritual solution.
"Abandon yourself to God as you understand God..."
getting into a detox facility might be a good idea, followed up by getting back to your meetings, sponsor etc.. with 10 years, you know what you need to do. Get busy, you can't think your way out of this, you have to walk the walk.
Barton, from the people I have met in AA that have relapsed with double digit sobriety, pain medications do seem to be one of the leading triggers. Other people might not understand an addiction to cough medication, but I am pretty sure I do. A lot of places have started putting that stuff behind the counter for a reason. It's somewhat milder version of Crystal Meth...plus, whenever I got a cold, I would typically down an entire bottle of Nyquil and almost looked forward to getting sick so I could do it. I don't think I ever admitted that one on here. Anyhow, I'm sure you recall from the 10 years (If you did it with the program) that the disease is powerful, cunning, and baffling. The other one...the disease is doing push ups while we are not drinking and that's why it often gets worse when we go back. It also sounds like you had some of the "It's not alcohol, I don't have a problem with....(fill in the blank)" going on. That one is pretty cunning and we all need to watch out for new addictions cropping up. Good news is you do know exactly what to do because you've done it before. I've heard some say it's demoralizing to think of oneself as a newcomer again, but it's your life here and not about labels. You can do this.
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When we have been Cross Addicted, we have to have our guard up all the time. and what has been said, I agree with what everyone has said, have you talked about this in a meeting??, and do you have a Counselor, you have taken the first step, asking for that help.
But I did want to comment on how surprised I was, I have taken that same medication when I have had a bad cough, and because it says Alcohol free, had absolutely no idea that it was addictive. When the addictive stuff was right there in the label in small print.
An old saying I use, with my background, I can "hook" on anything. And keeping the Velcro Vest off is the best protection.
Praying that you just keep reaching out til you find the way out of this.
A Big Hug to you, Toni
-- Edited by toni baloney on Wednesday 20th of May 2009 10:11:31 AM
Welcome to MIP, Barton. I'm sorry to hear you've been caught by the cunning, baffling & powerful essence of this disease but all is not lost. It's a part of your story & you're addressing it. None of us is perfect & we have to stay ever vigilant to our liabilities. Do whatever it takes & go to any lengths to get a clean bill of sobriety back. It's your peace of mind that is worth so much right now & sharing where you're at & being honest about it is a great turning point. I'm to believe you need to do a Step One on your presenting problem & to rework through the steps accordingly. This experience can take you to new levels of growth & I'm sure your trials & successes will help others too. Thanks for being here. I wish you every success in conquering another element of your illness. You can do this. God bless, Danielle x
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
