My story

alohagal74 · Member

My story

toni baloney · Senior Member

Hi Aloha,

just finished writing a whole long page to you, pressed the wrong button, and it was Gone,

I just want to say Welcome to you, you have definely come to the right place. Looking forward to getting to know you.

Your post sounded like me a long time ago, did all the things, the heavy drinking the breath mints, and thinking i was fooling everyone, and then come the blackouts, and the questions the next morning, "Do you remember what you did last night"

I hope so much that this MIP Board will help you begin the process of Recovery, it is truly a wonderful life, when we stop drinking, and get our lives back.

I heard it said once that the definition of AA is A WHOLE BUNCH OF PEOPLE THAT CANNOT - NOT DRINK. Wow, that sure remained in my thoughts. and today i can say that we and all the others you will meet on this Road, do not drink, one day at a time.

As far as the meetings, felt just like you. and i would go, not say a word, and leave, but just consider one thing, if you were to raise your hand and say I am new, and Need a Sponsor, i feel certain you would not be dissapointed. And slowly geting to know others, woman, that have been through exactly what you are going through right now, brings a lot of comfort. And that sponsor when and if you choose would help you with the work part, but you can go and listen, it is, when you are sitting in a chair in AA, it becomes your Meeting.

We have all to some degree come out of the same darkness, living secret little lives with our bottles of alchohol, and feeling so alone, and when we come into this program, everything changes, we realize we are NO LONGER ALONE, battling this Illness on our own, and we begin to see life again in a new way.

Hope so much that you will come back and let us all get to know you, again, just so happy you found this site.

My best to you Aloha,
Toni

alohagal74 · Member

toni baloney wrote:

"Do you remember what you did last night"
I got asked that every morning. :/

"the definition of AA is A WHOLE BUNCH OF PEOPLE THAT CANNOT - NOT DRINK"

I really never looked at it that way.

Your post brought me to tears, Toni. I have a new found comfort that I will not be alone. Thank you for your heartfelt reply.

Dave Harm · Senior Member

Welcome,

Those 24 hour chips, to me mean more then any other chip I have received, because without 24 hours, there would never be one week, one month, one year or five years.

It all comes back to 24 hours. On my keychain I have two chips, my yearly chip and my 24 hour chip. I treasure that 24 hour chip because I was a 24-7 drinker. I'd drink at five o'clock in the morning on my ride to work just to get over the shakes. I always had a six pack of beer next to my bed just in case I woke up through the night.

So when I sobered up 24 hours was quite an accomplishment. But I couldn't even think that far ahead. My first couple of weeks were praying just for another 10 minutes of sobriety. And after the first couple of nights I couldn't wait to go to bed because I'd have a full 8 hours more of sobriety.

Just 24 hours... even if it takes 10 minutes at a time...

In my thoughts and prayers,
Dave

toni baloney · Senior Member

Hello,
Glad to see you back so fast, and yes i too like Dave was 24/7 drinker, a fifth of Brady a day, usually drank it straight out of the bottle too, and I would drink it in the closet where i hid it.

So very happy you can see,yes, you are one of us. And Aloha, AA has a membeship in the hundreds of thousands, and none of us are alone anymore.

There is a Post here where we all talk about coming out of the darkness and into the light of Recovery.

Looking forward to seeing and writing more to you.

This MIP Board stands for Miracles in Recovery, and we are all just that. This is truly a AMAZING site.

Toni

alohagal74 · Member

Oh I have the feeling you will be seeing alot of me. lol I have finally found an outlet I can go to. I never knew there was a place online that us alcoholics can go to like this.

I will go to a meeting this weekend to get that 24 hour chip. This one will be the one to keep. I look forward to the online meetings as well.

StPeteDean · MIP Old Timer

Welcome alohagal,
you only have to get sober once, and staying sober is a whole lot easier than getting sober. As far as meetings go, we are the same people in and out of the rooms. We're the same people that you used to drink with except we just don't drink anymore. That's the only difference, no matter what we just don't drink. There is still time for you to keep that promise to you daughter. She'll understand that it just took a little longer, good things always do. Both my parents were alcoholics, I didn't have a chance because of that and being 2/3 Irish and 1/8 native american.

Dean

TLH · MIP Old Timer

Har! Scottish, Irish and Swedish here- another genetically challenged drunk!

Aloha, Aloha Gal. Welcome to the board!

Sobrietyspell · MIP Old Timer

Welcome to MIP, Alohagal x (Miracles in Progress, Toni! ;) lol We're "in Recovery" too so it doesn't truly matter but we are progress & not perfection, that is true :) I'm so glad you're here, Alohagal! I'm gladdened by your new positivity & getting back to a few meetings with your hand out for help.. That's Gr8! Happy Sober Day for 4th May 2009! May it set you in good stead for a long time 1Day@aTime :D Keep coming back & sharing often here how it's all going for you. Our Newcomers are the most important members here & helping you helps me. Already not alone, eh!

Thank you for your honesty, openmindedness & willingness. You'll come to understand the Big Book with practice. It takes time & many meetings for so many messages to sink in. I love the Big Book today & I helped myself by going to Big Book study meetings & searchin online for sites that go into this literature in more detail too. There is much for you to explore! Two sites I've also found helpful are www.recoverytheaaway.com & www.sober.org Having a Sponsor you get to know & trust implicitly will help you in learning how to stay sober too. Welcome to the board! Goodluck & Godbless, Danielle x

Mike B. · MIP Old Timer

Welcome Alohagal,

Your story sounds a lot like mine. Everything from trying to quit on my own to the 24 hour chips and the kids involved. My father was also an alcoholic and I never wanted to be like him. I can really relate.
It's great to see your enthusiam for recovery right out of the gate. Hold on to that! For me that meant I had surrendered (Step 1) and got some humility to be openminded, listen and take suggestions. This meant doing many thinks I didn't want to do, but did anyway because I turned my will over to my higher power and was taught my higher power works through people. Acted my way into good thinking.
Today I'm grateful to be sober and living in peace. I'm also grateful for my HP, my sponsor and all AA(including this site).

Enjoy your journey!

From how it works, " rarely have we seen a person fail who has throughly followed our path"

StPeteDean · MIP Old Timer

TLH wrote:

Har! Scottish, Irish and Swedish here- another genetically challenged drunk!

Aloha, Aloha Gal. Welcome to the board!

ah yes, genetic predisposition to alcoholism. I was at a meeting once and the speaker was a full blooded native american. His attitude was poor, as in "pour me". Somberly he continued on about how it sucked to be genetically predispositioned to alcoholism and how unfair it was yada yada yada. This went on for about 10 minutes when finally a member of our rather large group, a guy with red hair, green eyes, and freekles, interupts the the native american with "Hey, you guys certainly don't corner the market on being genetically predispositioned to alcoholism, I'm 100% Irish".

pinkchip · MIP Old Timer

Welcome Alohagal!

This site is a truly awesome place for me. I can't sit back and formulate my thoughts quite as easily at a meeting as I can when I have time to really think and respond on this site. On the other hand, I also can't replace meetings with this site because that is how I stay connected, meetings have gotten me out of the house, shaped my daily routine, and have truly created the change that has allowed me to stay sober. I can understand how after picking up so many white chips you might think meetings would be a waste, but I would just do some soul searching. Ask yourself "How bad do I really want to quit?" "Will I go to any lengths this time?" "What is different this time?" If you can answer these questions honestly and differently than before, AA meetings and the whole shebang WILL work for you. You have to put yourself out there though....getting past step one means complete surrender. Alcohol has and does rule you. It messes up your life and prevents you from being the person you are meant to be. AA only did not work before because you didn't fully surrender to this. If you were a closet drinker, you don't want to be a closet AA member and only do this via internet because that is too close to the same behavior. Take the plunge. Literature states "We stood at a crossroads." This is yours. Commit fully if you want it. I have to say, I only have 7 months sober and I'm sort of taking this urgent tone with you because I DO identify with your post. It made me really feel for you and I want you to have the best odds of success this time. Based on my own limited experience, this is the way to do it. A good step one starts with thorough disgust for what alcohol has done to you, a burning desire to stop, and complete willingness to change (in ways you may not have anticipated). Whatever you do though, you have found a group of people here that are rooting for you. Bless you from the longwinded,

Pinkchip aka Mark

alohagal74 · Member

Wow, thank you for all your wonderful replies and shares.

and as far as being genetically challenged.. I'm 2/3 Native American 1/8 Swedish and the rest is Irish LOL

"there is still time for you to keep that promise to you daughter. She'll understand that it just took a little longer, good things always do"

That gives me great comfort. I want to do this for myself as well as my children.

There's so many questions I want to ask. So many things that I want to say. It's all just garbled up in my brain at the moment. My thinking isn't too clear. I'll probably start a new post sometime today after having some thinking time.

It really is great to be here. Thank you so much for the warm welcomes. :)

cramcj01 · Senior Member

Your story reminds me a little of mine....minus the kids and husband : ). I too hid my liquor bottles. In fact, just recently I moved my things out of my apartment and still found almost a full garbage bag of empty bottles. This is after becoming sober 8 months ago, and 'clearing' the place out once. Yikes, I guess I forgot the million hiding places I had in that small apartment

.

Just keep on working through this. It's an honest to God fact when people say that it gets easier each day. I also heard you say that you aren't a 'people person'. I feel the same way about myself, but it's people like us that actually need the outside help. So if you can find the hope, just try another meeting. It may just be the right one.

-- Edited by cramcj01 on Wednesday 6th of May 2009 08:07:18 AM