Just checking in to say hello! September will be my 8 months. I feel good about not drinking, and my cravings have went away. Not completely, but only pop up once in awhile (usually when I'm angry about something) and last for just a short time. They're never enough to actually 'do it.' So I'm very thankful for that. But, I feel like I have been slacking on my AA meetings. I've only been going to one each week, and have skipped a few weeks. How do you all not let the nice weather or other activties come before AA?
For me what worked was the Statement a woman said to me when I was new in the Program. She said, "If you keep Sobriety in Front of EVERYTHING else, there is a good chance that you can keep it" If you place ANYTHING in Front of Sobriety, your chances begin looking not as good"
Crystal, that really scared me, and I needed to be scared, and so I visualized it, like a bekon of Light, for me to follow, and if something, ANYTHING, began to shade that light, I knew I had to remove what was blocking the Light.
That worked for me, I had a long history of Relapse, and in my early years, mostly it was the Fear of Relapse, that had been almost second nature to me.
Also, the statement that Resentments can kill.
I have a good friend of 20 years now, that has had episodes of Relapse, every two or three years, and it was ALWAYS, something just pissed him off so bad, he drank over it. For me, to drink after being angered by another, is putting the anger back on ourselves, and punishing ourselves by picking up a drink.
Also for me, was the awareness that I drank everyday of the week, so it made sense, a lot of sense to me, that I could attend a meeting everyday, just shifting the energy I put into drinking - into attending a meeting, and working the Program
For many of us, what helps when other things might otherwise pull us away from meetings, is to have a commitment at a few meetings a week: everything from being a "greeter" before the meeting starts, to helping out with the coffee, to serving as a clean up person. I also try to remember that if I'm not going to meetings regularly, then I'm likely not practicing one of the key Steps of the Program: sharing my experience, strength and hope with a fellow alcoholic. Sometimes our mere presence at a meeting, even if we don't share, helps a person, particularly one who is newer in sobriety.
And, what Toni says is right; you may recall that my relapse after 18 years sober was a DIRECT result of slowly cutting back on meetings, until there were NONE. It is a sure set up to drinking again, no matter how long we have been sober.
Thanks for checking in, I needed to remind myself of the importance of meetings.
But, I feel like I have been slacking on my AA meetings. I've only been going to one each week, and have skipped a few weeks. How do you all not let the nice weather or other activties come before AA?
Hi Crystal,
At 8 months I was still attending meetings daily. I caught the 5:30 pm meeting right after work (full of good sobriety). Then I had my (2) 12&12 meetings which were also my home Groups complete with service jobs (coffee at one secretary at the other) on Mondays and Fridays. Saturday night speakers meetings and Sunday morning Men's meeting. I did that schedule for the first 3.5 years, until I moved to FL. I continued to do about 5 meetings a week until I had 5 years, then I cut back to about 3 a week to I had 10 years. I you make long term sobriety (one day at a time) your goal, then keeping a regular meeting schedule will be the logical step to achieve that goal. I wanted to guarantee my sobriety, not just do the bear minimum.
I have a saying (in construction work) "just enough is never enough".
Crystal, Glad you checked in. All great suggestions here. Personally, I need consistent meetings to remind me where I've been, how to stay sober and how to live a happy sober life.
When I surrendered to this diesase I sat with my sponsor and came up with a schedule of days I would attend meetings. I started with a meeting every other day. Made two my home group and attend the same meetings each week. I did this so people would get to know me and notice if I wasn't there. Also, to build a fellowship around me... friends. This was against my will but I followed my sponsor direction. I'm grateful for this today. Consistency was key for me. For the first time in the program, after 3 years of trial and error, I put nothing before these meetings..... My life today is good, manageable and I'm at peace. I no longer feed the beast.....
In addition to meetings: I have a sponsor who I call on a regular basis, been through the steps and work them every day to the best of my ability, AM & PM pray to my higher power for direction and strength and try to pass my E,S & H on to whoever needs/wants it.
Today; I don't know what part of my program I could remove and still be sane and at peace. So I continue with what works a day at a time.
Hiya, Crystal. Meetings are my insurance, investment & a way to meet newcomers who need to know there is a way that works in order to stay sober & have life get better. We need people with sobriety to keep coming back so that we can help others. I wouldn't have what I have today if people weren't around to pass it onto me. Sharing fellowship is so important to me in & outside meetings. It's another way of making sure my old insanity does not return.
I have a service position at my home group & try to make at least 3 or 4 a week. I love my meetings. It's a beautiful & safe place for me to go & share my thanks regularly. I love seeing people growing & I love to see when other members faces look more & more lit up & peaceful through good times & tough times. Meetings are a staple in my sobriety as well as the Fellowship, MIP, my Steps & Sponsorship.
I was in despair before I came to A.A. & it has continued to fulfill my soul. I go back because I want more. I've a thirst of the spirit & A.A. always gives me what I need. I'm truly grateful for these gifts & to have something to give that others want.. What a privilege.. I mean, really, I've never had that before.
Keep coming back. I've heard & can relate to the idea that first I went to meetings & stayed sober cuz I had to, then cuz I was willing to & now I do it cuz I want to. Sobriety, recovery & life does keep on getting better & it will for you too. I love the quality of life I find in my life when I'm doing as suggested :) Godbless, Danielle x
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
I can relate to what Crystal is saying. I'm newer here than most, but it's hard to go to meetings when everything is so good. The weather is better, kids are more active and most people just feel better in the spring. I get worried that I will lose my focus on sobriety, but for me, to more active I am, the less I even think about drinking. I know I should go to more meetings and I know, (I've been told several times in here) that if I always had time to drink, I should be able to find time to go to the meetings.
Maybe this is part of the denial, and we all know we need to go to the meetings, but it does get hard. I know that this isn't focussing on the illness, but focussing on the recovery, but it's nice to just be "normal" for a while. I know I'm probally wrong, but it's where I'm at now. We do need to be careful not to relapse, but we also need to enjoy life.
For me the only reason I can enjoy the great weather and life is due to my sobriety.
I'm a standard alcoholic and like they say in the book selfishness and self seeking is the root of my problem. For me not going to meetings is the first step toward the selfishness I must avoid to stay sober, it can't be all about me today.
To walk away after given this gift from God, and not try to offer help to others as it was offered to me is the worst form selfishness.
It took a while to learn this. We also don't get sober just hang out in the rooms and not pursue life and not devote the deserved time for family, work etc. Guess this is where balance comes in, but sobriety is the first priority!
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Rob
"There ain't no Coupe DeVille hiding in the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box."
Thank you all. I like they way you put it Rob84. The only reason I am able to enjoy the nice weather is because of my sobriety. Before, I would rush around at 7 in the morning to get to the first store in our town that was open and sold liquor, shaking from the night before. Then, heck yeah, I would enjoy the weather....for like 2 hours. Then Id be so drunk I would have to sleep. Gosh, thats sick.
Anyway, thanks for the comments. These were all really good.....helps me keep on the right direction : )
I can relate to everyone. Today, I have to keep my head in the program any way I can...meetings, AA, friends, here....wherever. I made the mistake a long time ago of "feeling great" without going to meetings. It bit my ass 8 years later, bigtime. Now, I just have to keep it steady and consistent, not putting too much pressure on myself. I don't make a huge deal about my recovery but just have to keep it on the front burner somehow.
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Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. ~Buddha
I just got back from being sent to St. Augustine for a week to work. It was a beautiful town, BUT it was much smaller than Ft. Lauderdale, much more rural, and I felt like I might have been the only gay person in a 100 mile radius. On the first night I was excited to be in a hotel and watching TV in the cool room I had (have not turned on my cable at home in this entire time sober). By the next day, I had like this weird feeling. Like I did not know what to do with myself. I had to call AA and find meetings. I wound up going to a meeting in a house with paint peeling off and with a dirt parking lot and there was a tractor in front of the place. At first I was like "WTF!" I sat back and realized this was about my sobriety and it didn't matter if the people were total country republicans or whatever (again no offense intended here either). They were all going "to get their medicine" as they say about why we attend meetings. Nobody was going to fag bash me. We were there to discuss our alcoholism and not politics. I'm not going to say I'm all perfect but I did hit 2 meetings out of those 4 nights spent up there. 1 of them was one of the best meetings I've ever been to. I have 7 months and 1 day today and am just so grateful that I didn't wind up sitting in my room feeling lonely and bored and then going out drinking. I did notice first thing there was both a bar and a liqour store in walking distance from the hotel. In the old days, I would have searched for the nearest gay bar just to be around other people "like me." What is awesome now is that I find a meeting and the people there truly understand me better than anyone in any bar ever did. Yes, the people were VASTLY different than in Ft. Lauderdale where I attend most meetings at a gay clubhouse. Nonetheless, the message was the same. In fact, in some ways it was better because there was 1 less distraction lol. Very odd that a straight bandana wearing motorcycle guy with a pony tail can understand me better than another gay person in a bar (actually glad about this though). In the end, I thank God those meetings were there for me. I love meetings and personally, I can't keep my mind remotely uncluttered without them. As a result, I got to come home with 7 plus months of sobriety instead of "Boohoo, I couldn't stand being alone in a new city all by myself so I got drunk..." Let alone what might have happened if I fucked up at a job my company spent money to send me to by sleeping through half the day or coming in with a hang over. Great to be back. Hope all of you are well.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
PC, I hope that you did some sight seeing there and enjoy the restaurants etc... in the "Nation's Oldest City". Did you get out to Anistasia Park (Beach)? I lived in Jacksonville in 1980 (when I was 20 lol) for a year and am very familiar with St. Aug. The wife and I usually go there every couple of years for nice weekend.
Glad to hear your are doing well. I was a little over 30 days sober when I relapsed. Congradulations on being 8 months sober. That is a long time. I hope I can stay sober that long. Sometimes it gets frustrating but I just have to stay positive.
-- Edited by kkotz401 on Sunday 3rd of May 2009 08:26:52 AM
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You have to live life to the fullest because you don't know what you got till it's gone.
Dean, there wasn't much time for sight seeing. I could have made a better effort with that, but I am still getting used to enjoying doing things by myself. I was staying on San Marcos so the ghost tour trolly was going by all the time. I went into a lot of the shops there and they were cool. Lots of antique stores and a really cool store with all stufff from sunken ships and other nautical things. I kept thinking it would be a good romantic getaway spot and even told my unsuggested boyfriend so when I called him. Anyhow, it was gorgeous up there. That much is true.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
One way I don't let the nice weather, family, spouse, fishing and other things get in the way is the awareness that If I drink they will all go away. Remember what it was like?
There are only two meetings you want to get to anyway...The ones you want to and the ones you don't.
