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Kett · Member

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Jane05 · MIP Old Timer

Hello and Welcome Kett - Very glad you're here!!!

I do know about wanting to stop drinking and make promises to others and myself to do just that and the next thing I knew I was drunk.

I was 43 and almost out of options when I was lead to AA. I'm very grateful and happy to report that I haven't found a need to drink since. The best part, I didn't have to do it alone and neither do you.

If you need any help locating a meeting near you, let us know.

"Take it Easy"

Kett · Member

Thanks for writing Jane. I really didn't think I had a problem. I could go months between a drink. When I did drink though I always got very drunk and ended up not having a clue what I'd done the night before. I figured this wasn't normal even for a Brit. I thought giving up would be no problem, but the craving after a few months nearly drove me insane. I'm sure I never had such a reason to do anything in my life as to pick up a bottle of beer no matter what the cost. Anyway I'm out of my depth and will look for a meeting. I'm very nervous about the whole deal though. Pete.

Jane05 · MIP Old Timer

Hello again Kett,
I could be wrong, but I believe we have some members here from your part of the world. You'll be making some great connections here.

I'm from the U.S. in South Carolina and I will tell you about meetings around here. I understand they are all basically the same, but do have some small difference. Here, you just walk in to the room - nothing to sign - no dues or fees - and you can use any name you want. We don't use our last names though. Really don't have to do anything, and I do suggest, for your first meeting, just listen. There will be some of AA's literature read and then we identify ourselves by saying (when it's time) "Hello or Hi, my name is Jane and I'm an alcoholic". Here, then the chair will ask if there is anyone here for the first time - this is where you raise you hand if you want to. At the end of the meeting some little plastic chips are offered. The white, here, is the sign of surrender-the desire to stop drink. The desire to stop drinking is the only requirement for member. Does that mean you'll get kick out if you drink. NOT. All you need is the desire.

Here's one from us.

Keep posting and let us know how your doing and I'm sure our friends will be dropping by soon.

Take Easy :42:

I also wanted to share with you, these are the most understanding, loving people. We all have been where you are at some point and understand how you feel. Promise.

-- Edited by Jane05 on Wednesday 25th of March 2009 08:14:22 PM

-- Edited by Jane05 on Wednesday 25th of March 2009 08:35:06 PM

Kett · Member

Thanks again Jane. I'm sure you get new people here all the time and never hear from them again. I am grateful for your help and advice. This is a new road for me. All I know is that if things don't change I'm going to have major problems. As it is my liver is showing signs of abuse and the doc has given me a serious talking to. Thanks again.

Jane05 · MIP Old Timer

Yes, me too, the lab work that indicated my liver was in trouble was the 3rd to the last thing that got me to the rooms. Today - liver is as good as it should be. Grace of God.

Have you looked up any meeting places in you area?

Kett · Member

Yes, there are a couple. Not sure how I feel about going. I've been warned off such things by my friends in the band in the past. Not that I know anyone who has remained sober for any length of time. I wish I had more friends in this area who didn't drink, but they pretty much all do. I spent some time in LA and worked with a few NA folks but at the time they seemed a little wacky. Sorry if I'm annoying anyone.

Sobrietyspell · MIP Old Timer

Welcome to MIP, Pete. You're in the right place. I found to my surprise I couldn't stop on my own either. My best intentions still always got me drunk & I wasn't sure why. I learned in A.A. that as an Alcoholic my thinking is all wired to drink i.e. I have an obsession for it & that once I pick up a drink I can't stop. We call this the phenomenon of craving. Our bodies don't process it like so called normal folk. It doesn't break it down so it stays in our body resulting in an insatiable desire for more. I don't know the science of it but it's certainly true for my experience. Also, it wasn't until I tried to stop that I discovered my thinking had a lot to do with it too. After a while the old idea that this time it would be different & that I would be able to control it returned & I'd be at it again.

This was a mystery to me against my better knowledge but I now understand it as the power of denial & the dis-ease of alcoholism talking to me. It came to me through stresses & resentments too as well as me thinking I was drinking for fun & then ending up making an absolute ridiculous idiot of myself. I had behavioural problems in drink too that I also seemed to be powerless over! It was a relief to me to find in A.A. meetings many people who had had experiences like me & were now living sober & stable lives. I wanted some of that! I was lucky & got an early escape. It could have been so much worse but I trust in other people's testament that it gets worse & never better. It was getting worse for me. It doesn't have to get any worse for you either. Meetings help me to learn more & stay reminded about this condition so that I don't have to succumb to it again.

Find out where your nearest meetings are, call the A.A. helpline of you want someone to go with you or give you an idea of what you can expect. We are recovering alcoholics who have been in those early days of coming away from our last drunk or currently may be & all we want is for you to get well & enjoy an alcoholfree life. It seems hard to imagine a life without alcohol to begin with. It's been 'our friend' for so long but it turns gangster on us so if we're lucky & we work for it we get out & stay sober 1Day@aTime. You will make many new friends who do not drink & these friendships will grow so dearly. This is the fellowship & support of A.A. There's a lot on offer & you'll meet people of such honesty & unconditional love. You will be welcomed & shared with. Enjoy your new road & keep us posted how it's going for you, Danielle x

~ THIS ROAD IS A LONG ONE

BUT TOGETHER, ALL OF US, AS ONE

WILL WIN BACK OUR SELF-RESPECT

& BEGIN WALKING OUR NEW ROAD
TO THIS BEAUTIFUL THING
CALLED LIFE ~

Kett · Member

Thanks for your help and advice. I can see that I'm starting down a long and well travelled road for some of you. I fear the hole that alcohol will leave and I'm not sure what the heck I'm going to fill it with. I love to drink and always have. This will be some journey.

Dodsworth · Senior Member

Kett- I was warned too about AA from most of my friends, either that or they gave me weird looks, like "Oh, that's whre your going with this...?" Bottom line for me was, they didn't have my problems and thus couldn't hope to understand why I was going to meetings, or they themselves were active alcoholics and didn't want me to leave them behind in their drinks, or they were in full-flight denial..Truth is AA isn't for everyone but everyone is welcome (given that you think you have a drinking problem)..the desire to NOT go to meetings is a strong one for me sometimes, and it was especially hard to get myself to go initially, but noone will bite you and it is anonymous so it won't be on the front page of the paper either ;) If nothing else, you will meet people who can identify with you, and that always made me feel better anyway...

Kett · Member

Thanks Dodsworth. I don't know what to say really. There is a point where I talk myself into that first beer. I always have an answer for any hassle that my actions may have caused after having it in the past. It is almost as if anything that happens after is deleted from my mind. The first beer is all that matters. It is insane. How did I end up thinking this way? When did it start? I have no idea at all.

pinkchip · MIP Old Timer

Kett, I am not sure how it started for me either or why or when I started to think this way. I had to let go of wondering and just accept that it is what it is (at least to start out with). I have also been a binge drinker from the start and I could go a month without a drink, but whenever I did drink, it was for the purpose of getting so drunk I couldn't feel a thing. Something snapped and all of the sudden, at 36 I found myself drinking every other day and then, for a month or so prior to coming to AA, I drank every day. They say that the disease is powerful, cunning, and baffling. In essense it plays tricks on us telling us that what we did wasn't that bad, 1 drink will be okay, and other people are worse drinkers so why not drink ourselves? The first beer or shot or chug of wine is the most powerful one...it is the same as the first hit off a cigarette, joint, or whatever drug. Yeah that's right DRUG...that is how drugs work. When I stopped drinking, it did leave a big hole like you mentioned because I love drinking too. I try to fill it with coffee, cigarettes, relationships (yes I do acknowledge this), but also with meetings, fellowship, and service in AA. It is a work in progress and that gaping hole left when I stopped drinking is getting smaller little by little. Now that is just me after 6 months so there is much more work to do. Anyhow, like they say, it's not all about me and I think you will find AA to be a very supportive place and you will get out of it what you put into it. Most folks I know that have been around AA for years state that they went just to try and learn to either stop drinking or to drink normally, but wound up getting a life they never thought possible.

Dodsworth · Senior Member

Kett- For years my drinking seemed "normal" in that I was just unaware that I drank too much, and in fact I thought it was a weird positive, like I knew how to have a really good time, i felt sorry for those who got sick or dizzy after just a few. I was in complete denial for many years. When I started walking down to the bar a few times a week by myself and closing the bar by myself, I started to get a hint that something was not right. I know what you mean about that blank spot. There might have been a little debate before that first drink but once that first drink was in me, I was on autopilot, having another drink was the most logical thing in the world. This was true for me since I was in middle-school and it wasn't until two years ago that I was aware of it. My first drinking experience is a clear memory, it sticks out in my mind, and for most people it just isn't a milestone of any sort. My older brother is an active alcoholic and like pinkchip said, I was never as bad as he was and constantly told myself it was ok because i had never been down his road, that is until a couple of years ago. The last year of my drinking was absolutely horrible and I was out of excuses to drink, but that didn't stop me. It became my medication and I was fully aware of it. It took humiliation from my friends and family and the fact that I was getting violent and hurting myself, for me to decide to quit. After that first drink, we have virtually no mental defense...

Jerry F · MIP Old Timer

Aloha Pete...Welcome from the Pacific also. I pray you find the meetings before you
find the bottle again. From my experiences I have over dosed several times.
Clinically they call it toxic shock. I kept drinking because with every episode I would
escape (so I thought) and with every escape I was convinced I was immortal as far
as alcoholic goes. I was created chemically tolerant so therefore I could consume
lots of booze and/or drugs seemingly without effect. Seemingly is the catch word
as five years after no alcohol my skin was still that sickly green/yellow color and my
denial was telling me it was only jaundice...LOL The compulsion to drink will talk.
It always talks in favor or the next drink. I use to also have justifications to drink
and then found out that the drink was always winning before I formed the justifica-
tion.

If you continue to be honest and willing and find the fellowship of AA and all that it
offers yourself and others who desire to live without alcohol...that will come to pass
one day at a time.

My concern and prayers are with you. I wish you sober success.

Let go and Let God and Keep coming back.

Doll · MIP Old Timer

It's way past time to worry which came first, the chicken or the egg. The 'problem' is here now and now is the time to smash it. You can work on the why's later.....

Just remember if you don't take that first drink, you won't get drunk.

AA is a great place to learn how to live sober. Something I certainly didn't know how to do. I drank more than half of my life. AA saved my life. Today, I am sober and happy. Life doesn't get any better than that.

Give it a shot (no pun intended) and please keep us informed.

We do care, as we've all been just where you are now.

Welcome to MIP, btw, I hope you keep coming.

(((hugs))))

Jen

StPeteDean · MIP Old Timer

Hi Kett,

welcome to the board, keep coming back!

Dean

lani · MIP Old Timer

Welcome Kett
Glad to meet you... best of luck on this awesome journey!!!

Jane05 · MIP Old Timer

Hey Kett, where'd you go?

Keep it Simple