Hi Wendy, Just read your post below. I will be praying for you and your Mom.It would be tough to be so far away from a loved one who is sick, God can see you through this. I am praying you make that 10 months, go to a meeting,call your sponsor or someone in the program, post here, but don't pick up a drink. This too shall pass and then it's tomorrow.
hi and thank You............i did nt pick up today.............it's 2:30 in the am here...yeah!!!!!!!!! 10 months clean and sober!!!!!!
i so appreciate the time on the post and your prayers.....got some more crappy news tonight,,,,,,my daughter called me at work tonight,she moved back in with me in December.was living with her Dad.....not biological.........but been around her since she was 2.and had both my girls for the last 3 years while i was lost in active cocaine and alcohol addiction...anywayyyyyyyyy..her report card was mailed to his house and he called to tell her what a failure she is..that she won't graduate.........and that he doesn;'t want anything to do with her.........she's been sick alot lately and really its just her first period class that is suffering,,,,turns the alarm off and falls back to sleep way too often..........she's 16, grade 11.
She's crushed by his words...cried off and on all night...........went out with her friends and is drinking tonight.........how powerless i am over wether or not she goes down my road scares the crap outta me..........
I hate my ex.i try to forgive and pray for him........it's so hard.............doing alot of praying these days.............
He does not want me to recover.............10 months ago today i couldn't see the light........I can't beleive i've come this far!!!!!!!
He is not worth throwing my life away.............Mom, ex and my beautiful babies, i pray that I hear God's words in my heart and that You are all in His right hand,,,,,,,,,,,as we trudge this road to a happy destiny xoxoxox
10 months! wow,what a miracle...the work of God. I read your post and had to respond, funny it was the topic of the mtg I was at last night, how to keep the kids from going down the same path as we did.There is no real answer to that...only hope and prayers that my kids won't have to go through the things I did. I know that I can't decide for them though, as much as I would like too. The comfort for me isi knowing that if they come out the other side, a life of joy and recovery waits for them. But it hurts...and it's scary.
Wendy,just as Cheri said, 10 months is a miracle, keep on doing what your doing, one day at a time.Your ex maybe trying to sabatoge your sobriety, but the good thing about it is you recognize that might be the case and you can deal with it.
I'm with both of you about watching our kids live their own lifes, it is a hard thing to do. My 28 year old daughter made a few wrong choices from the time she was 17, but she is a pretty well adjusted person now, has a great second husband, a wonderful 8 year old daughter,is running towards God , not away from and today I can breathe a sigh of relief.
Now my 18 year old son who gratuated from high school last year and is living 100 miles away ,going to college, hmmmmm, I just place him in God's hands everyday. He had a good job at a resturant as a busboy, got fired at Christmas and couldn't find a job for a month. When he did find one it was at a place that has 7 bars under one roof. Talk about coming unglued, I was really upset. You see, I was a bartender for years and that was not something I wanted to see my child do, well he's not a bartender, he just helps the guys.Anyway, long story short, he has told me to butt out, I don't pay his bills and he is making about $500 a week. What can I do , go to alot of meetings,do the steps, talk to my sponsor, pray,pray, and then pray some more.
Is he drinking , I really don't think so. What I see in him is the caretaking, the Al-anon side. Rescuing, being there for everyone, the shoulder to cry on, fixing everything , a relationship with a young lady that might not be the healthest,but I have to let him live his life. I can be here when he needs to talk, I can offer advice and let go and let God.
I always have to remember that my kids are living their story, and they will have to be the ones to someday tell their story.I have had the good fortune to attend many Al-anon meetings and it has given the serenity I need today, thank God my husband was an alcoholic too, or I might never have made it into those rooms.
We are miracles, each one of us, whether it's 1 day of sobriety or 10 months. Thank God and be blessed today.
It's a brand new day!!!! I appreciate your words!!
I can choose to live in regret, shame or the past and wallow in it............or....i can choose freedom to live in today,in the moment., this moment i am full of gratitude. I am safe, i am smilin"
I have so many things to be grateful for........#1 my sobriety, anything i put before it i will lose!!
