"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
The wasted energy of negative emotions and the ensuing resentments/arguements not only makes us want to drink, but it wastes our most valuable resourse, Energy. We only have so much of it and when we allow oursleves to get angry or upset while using "the things we cannot change" as an excuse, we exhaust the fuel that we need to "change the things I can" and through all of our positive feeling down the drain in the process.
So I created this thread for us to list the "things we cannot change" to help us identify them and be on the lookout for old destructive self defeating and potentially relapsing behavior.
Here's a couple of mine. Expecting traffic lights to be green by the time I get there, or for the slow people to get out of the way, so that I can get to the greeen ones.
Expecting people to answer their phone when I call. I mean they know it's me right?
To get my husband to "think" like I do and agree with me.
For my family to do like I "think" they should do.
For everyone to do just want I "think" they should do.
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What people say and think about me.
If someone likes me or not.
Getting my sponsor to give me an answer right now!!(and answering the phone when I call, except, she should be sitting right there just waiting for me to call, right?)
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Let this day get rolling a little more and I'm sure I be able to add lots more.
Don Miguel Ruiz wrote The Four Agreements. The second agreement is "Don't take anything personally". Every body has their own ego. What another ego does or thinks is none of my business. My friend Dan, in Ohio says that "if you really do your third step, the rest of your life is none of your business".
The only thing that I can change is me, how when and why I react as I do when there is an issue. Still get caught up in an occasional set off mode. I just hate that.
Need to be able to slow down sometimes, and do something different, then perhaps go back to the problem at hand and sometimes when I go back the problem isn't there anymore (rare but it does happen), not to be mistaken for just plain running away - done that a lot too, lol
The relapsing behavior for me tends to be alcohol reward for doing a lot , "i deserve" to be able to have some alcohol after the successful day - Actual reward will be a hangover the next day, some trophy
-- Edited by Dakota on Saturday 14th of March 2009 01:04:43 PM
Deafhawk hit the number one thing for me. People. Everyone has their own self-centered bias and reasons for acting the way they do. Because of this, there is corruption, lies, infidelity...the list goes on and on. I can't change that people generally look out for themselves first and don't necessarily (and won't) think of me before they do the things they do.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
The Serenity Prayer is the most powerful slogan in AA for me. It saves my butt all the time. It is a catch-all and is so profound in it's simplicity. I even use it as a mantra for meditation sometimes.
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Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. ~Buddha
scott- I'm the same way. Every morning (or nearly) I get on my knees and recite it usually 3-4 times back to back. Like you said, it is the catch-all prayer for me and is easily recited...Having to read a prayer somehow takes the power of it away. Like I'm praying about something I haven't learned yet or something.
To ANYTHING. 
