We were having trouble with personal relationships, we couldn't control our emotional natures, we were a pray to misery and depression,we couldn't make a living,we had feelings of uselessness,we were full of fear. we were unhappy, we couldn't seem to be of real help to other people.
These words remind me that I have more problems other than alcohol, that alcohol is only a symptom of a more prervasive disease. When I stopped drinking I began a lifetime process of recovery from unruly emotions, painful relationships, and unmanageable situations. This process is too much for most of us without help from a Higher Power and our friends in the fellowship. When I began working the steps of the AA program, many of these tangled threads unraveled but, little by little, the most broken places of my life straightened out. One day at a time, almost imperceptibly, I healed. Like a thermostat being turned down, my fears diminished. I began to experience moments of contentment. My emotions became less volatile. I am now once again a part of the human family.
i can really say that this reading helped me understand that drinking is only part of the picture in my dysfunction in my life. This reading basically speaks for it's self, it is however probably one of the most importiant readings that are in the daily reflections. As soon as i realised that there was much more than not handling my booze is when i felt hope that with time and effort on my part i would never need a drink again. It is a disease of feelings and that that can be managed through the steps, than there would never be an excuse to drink again, is when i felt free.
just an amazing part of this program i remember every time life dishes out what life usually does. HOPE;- that I don't need to make anything worse and that if I take LIFE ON LIFES TERMS learning that if I ACCEPT it and are WILLING to keep an OPENED MIND to get out of my own way, that good will eventually come of any situation.
Yes , it is a life long process and thank God I can take it one day at a time. I remember the first year of sobeity was a clearing the head of the cob webs and trying to learn who I was without the alcohol. Now I am still trying to learn who I am , this last year has been about learning who I am since my 18 year old son went off to college, life is always a process. I thank God I can live each day without alcohol in the mix, because I can see everything so much clearer now, the good, the bad, the ugly, and the beautiful.
