Hi Iam Gary age 39. I started drinking from the age of 24yrs. At first it was just an half a glass of beer which sent me spinning , but it was not often it was once in 2-3 months at first. Then it became once in an month then twice , thrice in an month. It never really did borther me much that I will become an alchoholic. It was in 2007 that things became very worst. I have no friends , relations etc. I just like to be in my room and have my drink which was hard liquor. I was hospitalized for an month then stopped drinking , but then it started again. I tried to go for AA meetings in my area but it did not work for me. Iam really trying my very best to stay sober. Thats when I decided to join an AA forum to better my self. There are lots more for me to tell the hallucianations, Voices , visions that used to appear it was very very scary for me to handle , till now iam scared of the dark etc. I tried to take it one day at a time , but the liquor is very cunning it just draggs you, you will not know it coming. If there is anyone out there who would like to support me please do let me know.
Hi Gary, Welcome to MIP. We are all here for you, and we've all been were you're at. I remember feeling the presents of evil in my house at night in the end. I asked my sponsor about it and he said "there is evil there, it's your disease". 39 is a great age to get sober. The damage we do to our bodies before 40 is mostly repairable, after that not so much. Do you live in an area with meetings most days of the week?
Hello and Welcome Gary!! So glad you're here! For me my sobriety has been a "We" thing. "I" can't but "We" can. You also reminded me of what a, A.A. member, friend says in almost every meeting, "Don't quit, Surrender."
I too, believe, I know where you are. I remember that place of just me and the bottle. When I realized that bottle was not what I thought it was, well, I only had two choices. I'm grateful to be recovering alcoholic.
Please keep posting and let us know how you're doing!
To tell you the truth , I did not expect an very fast response. But Iam glad to get it. Dean Yes there are many meeting places around my area, I did go to some of them , but found out that nobody wants to listen, all they want is the same thing I wanted , some one to listen. So I just listen to them , carrying my own problems to myself. So I stopped going for the meetings , and search for an place for me to unburden myself and also view other peoples problems and say to myself that Iam not the only one, finally found MIP. Yes the meetings I went to was really good , and to hear the very sad stories of some of them, it has woken me up a little bit but not to what I wanted. Imagine jumping from the first floor in the middle on the night and running saying that someone is trying to kill me, I just could not come back to my house. But I have no place to go but to come back and face all the evils, I have also asked my parish priest to come home and bless the house and he did not come so what Iam suppose to do , but fight my own battle.Now I have stopped drinking hard liquor and only drink Gin but this is also not good. Will post some more.
Sounds like most situations where we are still beginning to begin. Give credit to the fact that you recognize your need to become sober, healthy in body and mind. Having had some medical intervention for severe alcoholism, perhaps you may see that having medical assistance at present to guide you in some healthful regimen would be primo right now.
Going to AA is a very good thing. Listening is hard when we are not feeling well (body and spirit). Even if it is just the body that is ill, it is going to be easier than when the spirit and mind is feeling sick. That is a challenge we all face in one way or another.
People talk of going cold turkey, but depending on the heaviness of your habit is what makes it unwise to do it without docs intervention. The doc needs to know your actual habit and how much, in real quantities. Cold turkey on the heavy alcoholic intaker can cause severe symptoms and even pathology.
AA provides a sound basis for you to begin. Start to nourish the body and spirit. Get medical help too.
Alcoholism causes malnutrition. Fat on the body is created by the empty calories in the liquor. And as you age, fluid retention too. So, good eating, vitamins and juice (less the alcohol), water, and exercise - replace the alcohol with good things.
Hopefully the sick things you are experiencing will be decimated by eliminating the toxic affects of the alcohol on your normal function capability.
This site is helpful, lots of similar things being shared and lots of solutions and better living ideas as well.
Welcome, it's always nice to see newcomers to the board. I think that the fact that you searched this out indicates that you really do believe there is help. You betcha! The more you look, the more you will find. Actually, I think all this stuff found me! In any case, I think you will agree that it is great to be amongst people that have "been there, done that" as that in itself offers comfort. Being with people that "know" how you feel, from their own experience is how AA got started and the most reliable information we can find is usually found in places like this. Alcoholism is treatable, takes time and patience and most of all, we have to readjust our priorities and attitude. For me, this meant finding reasons that I drank and understanding why I believed that alcohol was the solution to my problems. It is a journey of self discovery, learning, friendship and much more. I got to a point where I let alcohol do the thinking for me and that didn't work. In it's simplest form, I had to surrender, accept the fact that I could no longer drink, started to trust that my most innermost self was fully capable of handling life on life's terms and then to learn more effective ways of living sober. I find the journey to be very interesting, exciting, rewarding and for the most part...so worth the effort. As I sit here now, I don't want or need a drink. An hour from now, we will see. I can't predict the future but I can check in with myself anytime I want and I'm finding that every time I do, I don't seem to need a drink. There have been many days in a row that this has worked for me, I'm sure you will find ways that help you too!
Scott
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Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. ~Buddha
Welcome Gary.... One of the biggest things my sponsor said to me in the beginning was...take the cotton out of your ears, stuff it in your mouth and listen!!! I had so much to say though...didnt they know how sick I was!!! But I have learned that by listening, I gained the tools to stay sober and learned from others who were successful before me! It is important to share where you are, dont get me wrong...But by finally...listening and following my sponsors direction I have over a year sober!! Best of luck!
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
