When a drunk shows up among us and says that he doesn't like the A.A. principles, people, or service management, when he declares that he can do better elsewhere -- we are not worried. We simply say, "Maybe your case really is different. Why don't you try something else?"
If an A.A. member says he doesn't like his own group, we are not disturbed. We simply say, "Why don't you try another one? Or start one of your own."
To those who wish to secede from A.A. altogether, we extent a cheerful invitation to do just that. If they can do better by other means, we are glad. If after a trial they cannot do better, we know they face a choice: They can go mad or die or they return to A.A. The
decision is wholly theirs. (As a matter of fact, most of them do come back.)
I can identify this as being true for me too. Whilst I spent earlier months in my recovery learning how to concede to my innermost self that I am alcoholic & could not manage my own life, there were many moments where I hoped & dreamed there would be an easier, softer way for me. My pride, ego & desperation to remain an autonomous power unto myself tagged along with me at every opportunity. The obsession endured & I experienced it, knowing through my education in A.A. that it would be the pure fantasy of being able to live another life & take that drink with impunity.
I persevered but there were times when I declared my desire to leave A.A. though not in meetings, to MIP & disappear offline, watching from the sidelines to see what sort of response would I get. Would I be ridiculed, patronised, criticised, rejected, ignored or rebuffed? I was even frightened by what I'd be met with but when I returned I'd been showered with love, care, uncontrolling concern & well wishes for whatever I chose to do whether that be to stay sober by my own means or ultimately take another drink & experience further research. I was offered my place still here whenever I wanted to come back & the kindest words 'We'll leave a light on for you..'
These words & their kindnesses from many here & those I'd shared my fears with in meetings touched me so deeply & no matter what other sort of life I'd thought I might have been able to live on my own paled back into literal fantasy & the reality of the love & acceptance that is shared here & in the fellowship I know in person made it practically impossible for me to even reject such amazing loving that I had for all my life longed & searched for. I've always known to & have been prepared to go to any lengths to achieve & keep what I have gained, shared & can grow in my sobriety that I couldn't believe that it would be reciprocated in wellmeaningness for me to continue getting well & to keep coming back.
People here know who they are who have helped me personally in my earlier struggles. I love this two way, non obligated loyalty & I'm grateful for the enduring patience that continues in this essential message of A.A. too. Without it I may have gone back out there & given up in my weakest moments while I was still learning how my Higher Power can work through people also. We are blessed. Thank you, Jane. Danielle x
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
My how we ALL have grown!!!! Glad you are here!!!!!
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
