Junior, I feel for you...when you stated your doc said you have been suffering from bipolar symptoms and anxiety/panic attacks that struck a chord.  This is pretty much me as well.  I have come to realize that for all the time I drank, I made my mental health problems worse.  I look at step 2 "Only a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity" and I realize that my best medicine is right there.  I may not get a "cure" for these problems, but I know this path will definitely lead to less insanity than the one I was on before.  With that said, I am on meds and they do help.  I have had these problems for over a decade and was aware of them long before I was aware of being an addict.  I cope with it by reminding myself I am more well than I am sick, that all funks will pass in time, and that "Bipolar" or "Panic Disorder" are just labels and they do not define me as a human being.  Just like I don't have to drink today, I don't have to pay attention to thoughts and feelings that I know are just unrealistic and I don't have to freak out all the time.  Panic attacks are like the worst experience in the world.  When I have had them, I feel like I am dying for sure and the world is closing in on me...I become certain that all the worst things that could happen will happen to me.  It's good to know that it's "just a panic attack" and also nobody has EVER died from a panic attack.  Anyhow, welcome back to the rooms.  I am inspired by your strength to lift yourself up.