I was furious when I found myself at my first Al-Anon meeting. It seemed so unfair that he had the problem and I had to go to a meeting. But by that time, I had nowhere left in the world to go with my pain. Now, I'm grateful for Al-Anon and my codependency recovery. Al-Anon keeps me on track; recovery has given me a life. -- Anonymous
There are many Twelve Step programs for codependents: Al-Anon, Adult Children of Alcoholics, CoDa, Families Anonymous, Nar-Anon, and more. We have many choices about which kind of group is right for us and which particular group in that category meets our needs. Twelve Step groups for codependents are free, anonymous, and available in most communities. If there is not one that is right for us, we can start one.
Twelve Step groups for codependents are not about how we can help the other person; they're about how we can help ourselves grow and change. They can help us accept and deal with the ways codependency has affected us. They can help us get on track and stay there.
There is magic in Twelve Step programs. There is healing power in connecting with other recovering people. We access this healing power by working the Steps and by allowing them to work on us. The Twelve Steps are a formula for healing.
How long do we have to go to meetings? We go until we "get the program." We go until the program "gets us." Then we keep on going and growing.
Selecting a group and then attending regularly are important ways we can begin and continue to take care of ourselves. Actively participating in our recovery program by working the Steps is another.
I will be open to the healing power available to me from the Twelve Steps and a recovery program.
From The Language of Letting Go
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Quetzal, This post is exactly what I need to read this morning and to kick me in the butt to share my feelings that I have right now. My fear/pride tells me not to write, that I know the anwsers but I'm still struggling. I need to open up eventhough it may sound ridiculous. I'm an alcoholic but been feeling I'm also very co-dependent. Some have said the two go together.
I've been having trouble accepting my son for what he is. I put high expectations on him, in my own head, and get resentful when there not fullfilled. I've heard that expectations of other = premeditated resentment.
Anyway my issue is this: my son (9) who is a very talented athlete is quickly digressing becuase of what I feel is a lack of willingness to work hard to improve. He thinks he's good and knows it all. Two years ago he was selected to represent his state in a hockey tournament and by others views one of the top 3 players on the team.
Since that time he's been selected to play on his local AAA team each season since then but the other kids are now catching up with him. He was not selected to play last year for his state and I thought that would be a motivator but it wasn't. There's a strong likelyhood that he may not even make his local team this year.
I've been feeling like I don't even want to go watch him play because I leave feeling so frustrated. I feel resentful toward the coaches and parents.
My program and higher power tell me that I need to let go, that I can't do it for him and have no control. He'll have to learn through personal consequences. It's only a game and not that important? I feel that I also turned this all inward to make it about me, when in fact it has nothing to do with me? Except my thinking. Am I codependent on his success? It appears so...
It seems like I have some of the answers but can't seem to bring them to the forefront and through my self centereded fear. Why is this? Can anyone relate?
