The night I've been fearing since I quit drinking (12 days ago) has come and gone, and I came out the other side sober. Whheeew. Several of my friends were there, all of them completely wasted, along with the rest of the crowd. The opportunity and excuse to drink was sooo right there. This was definately a drinking crowd, people were walking around with pints of whiskey. Usually before a show I get real nervous and I usually don't play as good as maybe I could. Earlier today I talked with my sponsor and another alcoholic right before the show, and that did help a lot. First thing this morning I prayed and then prayed again on the way to the show. Part of me wants to believe that the prayer worked. Our drummer was almost in a drunken stupor even before we played, and the other band mates were really nervous because we werent prepared. We did sound terrible, but for whatever reason, I was cool as a cucumber and just made sure I played the devil out of my part. I was at peace throughout it all and I am just very grateful that above all, I stayed sober. Tonight was such a success, I just wanted to share it!
Sounds like you are really working the program, good for you and congrats on complete success.! When I read the title of your post I expected to read the worst. What a pleasant suprise.
good job Dodsworth. did you get the sense that you didn't miss anything by being sober? it was quite the contrary wasn't it? that you actually didn't miss, and you didn't miss it at all. you exposed the untruth that you didn't have to get wasted to play and you didn't die. sounds like you're probably ready for some new people to play music with. ones that really want to play instead of living in a fantasy. that's what sobriety is about, it's about really being someone instead of an illusion. being present, in real time, experiencing the moment for what it's worth, not try to boost it and delude ourselves into thinking it was better than it was, or missing what was really great about it by altering our senses.
Thanks everyone! StPete, you are so very right about living in that fantasy world, our drummer sure was! An alcoholic sent me a text message right before I arrived at the party: "I never woke up on a Sunday morning regretting that I didn't drink on Saturday"...makes sense.
"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
