I'm finally back to AA, have 40 sober days. I really want to get it right this time. My husband is a heavy drinker and is in the other room. He's finished 3 martinis and is on to red wine. I actually picked it up and smelled it. Stupid. This is so hard and I'm so scared. Not drinking really puts a distance between my husband and myself, and drinking was killing me. I just didn't have a stop button. Lots of blackouts. Horrible hangovers. I'm trying to read the Big Book while he's in there. But I'm angry that he can continue his drinking and I can't. I'm new to this board and can't make an AA meeting tonight. Could really use suggestions or support. Thank you
OHAAT, it sounds like an awful situation you are in right this minute. First thing to do is take a DEEEEP Breath and call upon a Power Greater than Yourself. Pick up the phone. Take the dog out for a walk, and take your cel phone, and get in touch with someone from AA right now.
I am praying for you and sending you love and hope. You can get through this, but you must reach out. I am so proud of you for reaching out here. Please call someone who can help you through this. And remember to breath! No doubt your stomach is tied up in knots right now, and you are feeling some resentment and pain regarding your husband. Please talk to someone, if not face to face. I will be thinking of you an dpraying hard that you can get through this hard time tonight, sober.
((((hugs)))) Joni
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
Thank you so much for responding. I took lots of deep breaths and took the dog for a walk! Have lots of numbers but for some reason NO ONE answered. So I left a lot of voice mails and prayed hard. I'm so excited and grateful to have found this site. Going to try to go to sleep, having made it through another 24 hours without having to pick up a drink. By the way, when do the overwhelming cravings go away? Do they ever? Thank you again for the love and support and prayers.
Welcome to MIP. I'm so glad that you are here with us.
I know how hard it can be in the early days to not drink when someone is around you drinking. I have been there. I got as many 'phone numbers from the women in AA and I used the 'phone whenever I was feeling shaky and couldn't get to a meeting.
The cravings will start to get less and less for you. Just hang in there. I found that going to meetings and sharing how I was feeling helped me so much. It helped to know that I wasn't on my own.
Please keep posting and letting us know how things are going for you, won't you? We're all here for you.
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
OHAAT, the relationship is your business, but I do think the cravings you are having are because alcohol is always in your face. I have no idea what your husband's take is on you going to AA. Does he respect it? If he does at all, maybe at least he would try alanon learn that his drinking sort of enables yours. I've seen a few alcoholic couples where the partner made it to AA when their eyes sort of opened up through going to Alanon. I guess even if there is nothing to be done about his drinking, I can only think of one good way of thinking (since this is a disease of thinking). You sound like you are very focused on the fact that he HAS alcohol and you DONT HAVE it. In actuality, he has nothing (in relation to this) and you have the gift of sobriety and AA. Furthermore, he might be resentful that you can stop drinking and he can't so he could be equally or more upset about that. Seems like some men really love a woman who drinks (up to the point where they don't clean up, cook, and all that) and he may have just lost his best drinking buddy. Anyhow, I figure that the one of the only ways to turn this specific situation into gratitude is to focus on your gift of sobriety rather than what you are missing...because what you have is sooooo much better.
P.S. Not trying to down your husband. I do not know him or all the specifics of the situation and it's not my business.
-- Edited by pinkchip at 08:17, 2009-02-21
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
I too am so thrilled to get here this morning to find that you have made it to another day sober, OHAAT. Many (((((((hugs)))))))) and keep on trudging this road to Happiness. It is worth it!
Joni
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
Thank you to everyone again. Tonight is our wedding anniversary, so I'm having yet ANOTHER major panic attack. Can't breathe and can't stop crying. Husband doesn't really understand the whole AA thing, or why I can't just have one or two. I will try everything I did last night, while at the same time trying to be present for him and celebrate WITHOUT drinking. Earlier today I felt so good emotionally. Went to a great meeting. But I don't know how to celebrate without drinking. I will check back here periodically thru the night for strength.
But I don't know how to celebrate without drinking. I will check back here periodically thru the night for strength.
It's as simple as deciding to be happy and enjoy life without having to use chemicals to alter your feelings. It takes practice and that's why It's takes time to get comfortable with and to build your sober identity. Getting through your first year, gets you through a years worth of events sober, to learn how to do them over. It's a lot of fun once you realize the difference in quality of life without chemicals.
You've had some suggestions here and I realize that it may be hard right now, call someone, aa people, etc.
I've been where you are now and well lets just say that I had to make the right decision for me. So I can relate to your situation, so even if you can't get a hold of someone right now, I'm sure that they'll get back you
Cause your important and you mean something, so hang in there and I'll be praying for you... Even if that means for you to post here we welcome you with open arms you are not alone.
