Spontaneous Stupidity was just one of the many experiencial things I was going to need in my life if I was gonna keep from developing somekind of recovery AA theology
and decending into the abyss of "bleeding deaconism" or P.I.A for the rest of us.
One of the greatest things ,becoming a spontaneous addicted alcoholic in recovery, was learning that other people actually liked being around me.
As long as I was a perfectionist all I could be was perfectly alone.
I thought I'd start this as a thread because I'm in a new area and everytime I've moved in my life I feel that wanna be alone thing tripping it's way up my spine and squezing my brain, numbing my "built in forgetter", and doing it's best to seduce me away from the only place I ever went to that understands addiction from the inside out and not the outside in--AA.
Oh!! By being spontaneously stupid I'm just talking about that part of my addiction that just refuses to laugh or share about ANYTHING in my recovery that makes me look less than some kinda Bill Wilson icon.
Anyone else have trouble laughing at themselves??????-John
Just keep on comming..don't drink and go to meetings...Things get better..I went through a phase very early in sobriety where everything started to change..I was stark raving sober...and I didn't know what to do about it..I thought I was losing it...heading for the looney bin..I went up so high on a pink cloud I was unreachable..I could see everything..I was experiencing a psychic change.
Someone said..just do what you have been doing...don't drink and go to meetings..I was rewarded for hanging in there ..I woke up one morning...happy ..joyous and free..I had came out the other side..
Hey Tomas, runs10k has "don't drink and go to meetings" for 31 years now, but who's counting
runs10k, I had to read your post twice to get it. humility is still elusive to me (pay no attention to that statement HP, I don't need a lesson lol). Ego still wants praise and approval, thanks HP for a loving wife or I would be "out there" doing stupid human tricks for a bone.
All I'm talking about is getting the message from my head to my heart. I didn't get to AA by being a "good" person. What ever the hell that is. I didn't stay in AA because I could quote the Big Book and had become a "good person. I stayed because of the same reason I got high--I became willing. This day, today, I'm more willing to be sober than drink. I don't grow spiritually cause I'm in love with God or for that matter in love with anybody. I grow spiritually because it's time to grow. I know when it's time to grow because I'm uncomfortable and I wanna be comfortable,physically emotionally and spiritually. I'm in a state of restoration and the beautiful thing to me about AA is it approaches addiction not unlike the way I use to approach getting high. AA is the easier softer way.-John Thanks for the replies.
