I'm coming back to the program. My name is Scott and I am an alcoholic. i was in the program about 5-6 years ago and sober for about a year. It all started with my first (and only) DUI. I was sentenced to 6 days in jail. Three of the days i did in a med. security prison and the other three I was able to do in a class that I had to pay for. The class really opened my eyes to how sick I was and decided that I had enough. I was also so impressed with the teachers in this class that I decided that was what i wanted to do, share my story and in the process help others feel the way the teachers made me feel. So at 38 years old I went to college and took social work for a B.A. degree in alcohol and drug rehab which I have. The courts made me go to A.A. and that was my first experience with the program. I dove in head first and in my year of sobriety even ended up moderating at times. So I do know my way around A.A. Then it all went away. I guess I just had not had enough of drinking then. I fell off the wagon and have drank ever since. This last year my addiction has progressed though. I went from just drinking beer to having a tumbler of crown royal to sip on the side. The last few months I started to have the shakes at work before getting off knowing it would soon be time to drink. I would get to the bar and joke about it to my freinds. Memory loss (not remembering getting home) nausia, terrible hangovers, and just plain sick all the next day were not enough to make me stop going back the next day, sometimes everyother day depending how bad I felt. But this last month I started thinking again about how good I felt in sobriety, how good it felt to talk to other people with the same problem as me. If what I said helped them fine but I know it made me feel good. I started thinking about all the hard work I did to learn about the illness and did nothing with it. So the last month wanting to be sober again started creeping up on me. 6 days ago was the final straw. I woke up almost choking to death in my own vomit. (SORRY! GROSS) I knew I had finally hit the bottom of my drinking. The next day was like an awakening. All I could think about was how everything I do revolves around drinking. Sitting in the bar every night I saw the same people come in at the same times, doing the same things, saying the same things and accomplishing nothing for the last 5 + years. So again... my journey begins. I have a huge story but I'm sure it will eventually all come out here or in the rooms. I plan on going to a meeting very soon. Thanks for reading all.
Welcome to MIP. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. I could really relate to the memory loss, nausea, hangovers and feeling sick all the next day. But, it didn't stop me from drinking. In the end, things got so bad that I went back to AA after an eighteen month break. It was the very best thing that I could have done.
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
As I read your post, it sounded like what I heard in a meeting last night. Only this guy ended by saying something like, "I had to get really dumb, before I could work The Program and stay sober."
My drinking had made me really dumb. I did no detox time (did that in the rooms) or treatment center. And it was almost 6 months before I could speak to someone without spitting on them. Today, I grateful for this bottom, but not everyone has to hit the bottom I hit.
Thanks all. I will let you know how all goes, hopefully you don't get tired of my posts as I will be needing this board and others along with live meetings o really get through this.
Scott!! Glad you're here!! 