AA Thought for the Day (courtesy AAOnline.net) February 18, 2009 Self-pity
No words can tell of the loneliness and despair I found in that bitter morass of self-pity. Quicksand stretched around me in all directions. I had met my match. I had been overwhelmed. Alcohol was my master.
- Bill W. Reprinted from Alcoholics Anonymous [First Edition], p. 18 Thought to Ponder . . . Self-pity is followed by isolation is followed by a drink.
AA-related 'Alconym' . . . H O W = Honesty, Open-mindedness, Willingness.
Speaking from my own experience, and I'm certainly not unique and with much experience interacting with other recovering alcoholics in AA.... Self pity oftentimes is mutated to "looking for someone to feel more sorry for you than you do for yourself"...This is a dead end street leading to a game of multiple slips...and death...Happened to a good friend of mine...very accomplished, too acomplished, took that to the extreme..and it killed him.
I wish they would stop the practice of clapping for people when they have 30-60-90 days...it encourages for some this sick practice, the limelight syndrome in more than a few...cheered even for coming back in the extreme. That practice turns my stomach.....alkies love the lime light even if it kills them..Some even feel, fame and recognition of some sought had eluded THEM ...people and society owed THEM...their egos crying out for attention. It seems like the worse you are the more you are cheered..We love the underdog syndrome.
As I said on my 2nd anniversary many years ago ..."AA is the only organization that gives you a medal for saving your own butt".
Years later I did in fact earn a medal, for wartime service...Thrown away now as a dust collector...That medel earned only because I was sober..and at the right place at the right time, performing God's Will.
I might have come in to AA before the chip system practice..My original group in MA. had no such thing...no such recognition..So in my heart, I never embraced it...and gave it only lip service at anniversary's.
My own opinion..The chip system has gotten out of hand...One should feel humbly gratified for reaching a milestone that fades quickly into just another day....and forget the 15 minutes of attention. To me it's a very personal violation of MY conceptual understanding of anonymity. Others of course may differ....I never got a white chip.. Thankfully, I never needed it. The anniversary cake fed my ego more than my stomach, I must sadly admit.
I attribute my "early success" in AA to 3 things...A- TOUGH LOVE from the group...principles above personalties. B- Good friends/sponsors whom I was attracted to in the program. C- the comeraderie of my peers, newcomers like me, under 90 days...The meeting after the meeting.
There was certainly no room for self pity...only Gratitude...Thank God I didn't get what I might have deserved....This to me is a gift of sobriety....part of the continuing miracle of the program.
Jane05: Self-Pity. My favorite topic. Poor me, Poor me, Pour me another one. I use to think I was too manly to have self-pity. Geezzzzz!!!! If my life had a theme it was always about poor mis-understood John. I use to think I was so witty, telling people in the program that if I didn't feel sorry for myself who would?????
