Happy Birthday Jen!! I know exactly how you feel! My brother has always been the center of all attention. He is always thought of first. Funny thing is I dont blame him or angry at him, I am mad at my parents for doing it. The over coddling has actually hurt him not helped him.
Anyway I hope you are feeling better now.
Allison

Yes, this could easily be my post as well. I think it must be a right of passage into alcoholism or something. My parents' world revolves around my sister completely. They have moved next to my sister to help her raise the 2 grandkids. My sister is a lawyer and my mother seems to live vicariously through her because she says she always wanted to be a lawyer, but when she was young, women were only nurses and teachers, so she became a teacher. I have two older sisters, but my mother only talks about my middle sister and her work and Maryland politics that my sister and her husband are involved in at every family gathering. They raised me in a Unitarian Church and I picked up all these values to try and be noble and make the world a better place. I was the only one of the 3 to become actively involved in this and I chose to become a therapist. At family gatherings I have tried to get attention by talking about what I do. I figure it's much more interesting than Maryland politics which I could give a crap about since I don't even live in Maryland anymore. I will drop bombs like "I'm working with a family where the kid shot a beebee gun at the mother this week while I was there" and they will just go silent and start back talking about Maryland politics. It makes me angry because I feel like I am the only one who is actually working to help people every day and all they talk or care about is that meaningless crap.  Also being the only boy and being gay, I feel sometimes like I let them down.  Their lives also revolve around their grandchildren and that I do understand.  Nonetheless, they are never going to get any from me.  Nor, will they or have they ever treated any partner of mine like they do my sisters' husbands.  I started getting sober coming up on 5 months ago and I just talked to my parents this week.  They almost never ask how it's going, how I'm feeling, tell me they are proud of what I am doing, or that they love me.  My dominating mother just goes on and on about what else I need to do regarding my finances, my bills...etc.  After the last conversation I was left wondering why I constantly need this stamp of approval that I am never going to get.  I feel like I was born into the wrong family in so many ways.  Getting ready to work on this issue in therapy because it has been pointed out that me remaining screwed up and needy (in some ways) is really just a passive aggressive way of getting back at them and it only hurts me.  Still very much working on approving of myself instead of others having to approve of me.  Anyhow Jen (and everyone else posting in response), did not mean to launch into the unempathic story all about me.  I'm sorry you had that happen to you and it sucks.  Happens to me all the time.  I love my sister, but she walks on water as far as my parents are concerned.

Again, making it all about me...I forgot to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!  With every year comes more wisdom.  Wishing you many more happy birthdays and that the promises come to you in every way imaginable.

Mark

-- Edited by pinkchip at 06:41, 2009-02-15

Thanks for the ES&H, all. It was much needed and is greatly appreciated.


I am MUCH better today. Didn't allow all that BS to 'eat my lunch' for too long. Soooo, I guess I have made another step toward progress! Hmmmm, who'd a thunk it!



(((hugs)))

Jen