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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> A little about things that are happening in my so called life
Post Info TOPIC: A little about things that are happening in my so called life
chester


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A little about things that are happening in my so called life
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Hi
 I haven't drank in over a month and the last time was newyears. I had 4 beers and a glass of very cheap champane. Someone posted the 5 types of A's. If I have a label I am the functioning one. I used to have 4-5 beers and when the buzz started I would stop although I have to admitt that some times 3-4 times a year sitting at the camp ground at the trailer i would do the whole 12 at a sitting. before new years I hadn't drank in 3 months. Before me leaving the wife this time my life was all over the map. We would be together for a while and I would leave as not to argue in front of my son. My wife would say I want a divorce,I don't love you,Your not a man and so on well you guys understand probably been through it. I find that in trying to work the program off AA. I find it very hard to share my my feelings with my wife. I used to alot when times were better. Now all I hear is how much of an asshole I am. My wife is a good person just not to me. It seems that when i go to the house to look after our boy she just cannot or will not stop the constant charater assanation. I try to show her that it doesn't bother me but I don't think I'm very good at doing that. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can handle this a little better than I am?
Thankshmm

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Jane05


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Hello chester - glad you posted!  Sometimes just getting stuff out of my head helps me.

For me:
Step One - We admitted we were powerless over alcohol--(AND)--that our lives had become unmanageable.

I am powerless over people places and thing!! Always.  What I'm not powerless over are my actions.

With the help of the people in the meeting, my sponsor, close A.A. friends, the Steps and prayer and meditation, I'm gently guided in the right direction.

Life is not always the way I want it to be, but today, I'm better able to get through the tough spots without harming others or myself.

Hope this helps!

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Dakota


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Marriage counseling.

After stopping drinking there still will be other things to repair, fix, clean up... It is like the major war/battle is over but there is that fall out, shock syndrome stuff to work on.

look up marriage builders online. There is a lot of things that are routine. You learn , she learns. You change things about the self, and due to your new understandings and changes, she may be inclined to follow slowly but surely...

editing in, not sure if you are still married or what but that site has some valuable info on relationships in general. 

-- Edited by Dakota at 09:43, 2009-02-03

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Jane05


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Check out this thread.  If you want to smile.gif


http://www.activeboard.com/forum.spark?forumID=42735&p=3&topicID=4220393

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BGG


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Hey Chester:

One thing we learn in A.A. is that "there is a long road of reconstruction ahead" for all of us.  This is especially true in terms of our intimate relationships.  One thing that helped me to accept this was reading the chapter entitled "The Family Afterwards" in the Big Book.  Check it out; I think it will help.

Most of all, take it one day at a time, going to meetings, working with a sponsor through the 12 Steps, and reaching out to others in the Fellowship of A.A.

Love,

BGG

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Mike B.


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I've been through a similiar experience in my sobriety.  Wife was very angry and hurt.  Once I started my recovery: pray, meetings, sponsor, steps and fellowship a change physically and mentally occurred within me.. for the good.  My sponsor told me when my wife see's me she's resentful because she thought things would improve for her with me out of the house and her life, but she didn't change anything with her, thus, the resentments and unhappiness continued for a short time.  Working the program, staying sober and keeping my side of the street clean has rubbed off on her and she's starting to change.  Our relationship is improving with each day.  She even asked me to move back in with the family.  I have two kids.  My sponsor has always told me: if you stay sober you can't screw anything up.  God will give us what we need and things will happen just the way they're supposed too.  Have faith.. I didn't at first... I relied on the faith of my sponsor.

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StPeteDean


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Hey Chester, I went through a divorce in early sobriety with a young son. My x-wife was a very mouthy canadian (sorry Phil smile.gif ) and she just loved to sling insults. I would just look at her and smile and say "Do you feel better now?" Or "It must suck to be so bitter, I hope you get well soon". Then of course, there's
"Why don't you save it for someone who cares?" She gave up after awhile. Both my mother and father
(who divorced each other) gave me great advice. Dad said "Loneliness is better than misery", and mom said "The best revenge is living well". I'm very happily remarried (12 years) and made "living well" into an art form. smile.gif

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 Gratitude = Happiness!





chester


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Thanks to all
I belive I have found some good info on how to help me with my situation. I'll let you know how this part works out.
thanks

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