Hi My name is Chester I am looking to try and end most of the confusion in my life. I have a wife(curently separated from) and a little boy. I have been to some face to face meetings. I am trying to work the 12 steps. Glad to be here Thanks
Welcome to MIP. I'm Carol, an alcoholic. I'm glad you're here with us.
I regularly attend two or three AA meetings each week and my life is vastly better now than it was when I was drinking. The 12 steps have given me a blueprint for living and I am so grateful that I have them in my life.
I cannot begin to compare my life now to how it was when I was drinking. When I was drinking I didn't have a life, I simply had a wretched existence. Now, I have so many more choices and some wonderful friends in my life and it just keeps getting better.
This board is a great part of my recovery, too. There is so much support and wisdom here. I do hope that you'll keep on posting and letting us know how things are going for you.
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
I too go to at least 4 meeting a week and I have a sponsor who helps me apply the Steps in my life. I try to stay involved in some sort of A.A. service too. The more I'm around other recovering people, the better.
Looking forward to getting to know you! Let us know if you have any questions.
Welcom Chester! Congratulations getting to those first meetings. As a relative newcomer (116 days), I personally am still attending meetings 7 days a week with a hectic job schedule and everything. The only thing I can say from my early experience with meetings and the 12 steps is I suggest 1. Don't work them alone and 2. Don't try and move too fast. Generally, it is recommended to stay on the first 3 steps for the entire first year. I came in thinking I had to work all 12 immediately. The steps are important, but just a part of AA. Fellowship, sponsorship, meetings, sharing, and getting involved are equally important. It helps to understand the 12 steps, but not to work them all right away. You will start working elements of some of the later steps automatically simply because of what you are doing different by going to meetings. Though I did neuroticize about working the steps in my first meetings, the only thing that really helped was building a support network by getting phone numbers, calling others, going to a bunch of meetings, getting a sponsor, and just showing up and listening and sharing when appropriate (at beginner's meetings and open discussion/topic meetings). I tried to share at step meetings early on and people kindly let me know sharing on steps I hadn't worked or wasn't ready to work was not helpful. I suggest just working on Step 1 for now. They say that is the most important step and if you don't get it right, the rest wont work. It would seem step 1 is done just by showing up at your first meeting, but it runs much deeper the more you think about it. If you truly "get" the concept of powerlessness, that will give you a good foundation and the rest should follow a day at a time. Again, Congratulations. Also, know that what I am saying is just based on my experience so I could be totally wrong. I know in some places they work the steps fast, even during inpatient recovery....and that does work for some. I am just trying to spare you some of the anxiety and feelings of urgency I felt about the steps when I first came in. Lastly, I want to say I understand and feel for you about the separation and also the motivation to do this for your son and your relationship. The chaos and confusion will end, but it will take some time. Try and have faith.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Thanks for the welcome and the info. My son is very important to me. I want to chose to be a good dad and father. I think that if I have the willingness to try that will happen. Again thanks Chester
I think perhaps you already are a good dad and father, but alcohol and this disease probably screwed things up some. As long as you stay sober, you'll just be a better dad because you will be a better you.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
I've been right where you're at. I got sober during a separation from my wife when my son was 2 years old. He's now a junior in college and I don't think that he'd be there if I hadn't found my way into AA and stayed. It's worth it and it takes time (everything that's worth while does). I tried several times to get sober while going to meetings and it didn't work for me until I committed to going to 90 meetings in 90 days and got a sponsor. If I had time to drink every day, I had time to go to a least one meeting. Good luck in your new journey.
Glad you made here, I'm sure you are a good person like the rest of us. I'm sure you'll find what you need here on the board, thanks for coming we always welcome newcomers
Hi Chester -- welcome to the board. The insights and perspectives you will get from people here is amazing. I'm just over a month sober and visiting here regularly has helped a lot. The peace and strength I feel after almost every face to face meeting I've been to has been the key for me. I will say a prayer for you, your wife and little boy tonight.
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Scientists announced that they have located the gene for alcoholism. Scientists say they found it at a party, talking way too loudly.
Welcome Home Chester! Sounds like you are at the right place. I truly hope you will go to some f2f meetings each week, get yourself a good sponsor, and visit us here regularly....
I drank my wife and son, and as a direct result of this program... I'm a very good father today... that is present and available to his son.
Just keep coming back... Life is in front of you, not behind you.
