I've got one for you.  Yesterday, it was this women's first meeting so of course we had a 1^st Step meeting.  She did not know anything about meeting decorum or how it works and she crossed talked a couple of times.  Should have seen me at my first meeting, I was drunk.  Anyway, a guy who's been around for a while, yelled at her.  "Lady we don't cross talk!"  I wanted to jerk a knot in his neck.  A couple of other people yelled back at him.  "You're not the chair!  Who are you to tell someone not to cross talk!!  You still don't get it!!"   Luckily someone started sharing and we got back on track.  This guy has had me practicing tolerance from the beginning.

What I'm getting at is that for a moment our focus left our new friend and went to someone who may or may not have known better and still has a little to learn.  (And I'm sure he'll be talked to by those better able to do that.)  We are such an undisciplined bunch, but with time and prayer a lot of these things straighten out.  I've got to try to remember why I'm there.  People teach me a lot, and sometimes that is, if nothing else, what not to do.

Thanks for sharing, I often wondered if this kind of stuff only happens here. 

It's when someone spreaks out of turn or interrupts others while they are speaking.....or gives advice to a specific person. 

Of course I belong to a tight fellowship which consists of mostly gay men and lesbians (yeah perhaps many of you didn't want to know that but oh well).  In any case this leads to much drama and people talking about each other, dating each other, blah blah blah.  At the end of the meeting someone was waiting for another person to come out and started screaming and threatening them regarding talking about them behind their back.  It was scary and violent.  A fight almost broke out.  I was like "WTF, how can this happen at an AA meeting?"  Have any of you seen anything like this?  It was disturbing and really screwed up any message that I got from the meeting and set me on a messed up course in my head.  So yeah, I pretty much almost witnessed people hitting each other at a meeting.  Crazy.  I believe this is where the concept of "if it doesn't fall into my hoolah hoop, it's none of my business" comes in as my immediate reaction was wanting to call other people in the fellowship and be like "guess what so and so did!"  But for once I largely kept my mouth shut.  Thank God.

I guess we freak out because we think of an aa meeting as a safe haven away from the real world...But, is it really so...People were appalled the other night at a meeting because someone came in and was so drunk and obnoxious! Or people that are new that "cross talk" because they dont know any better!! It should be all that we expect but it also is the real world...The ones that dont know or dont get it need to be guided like I was...
Perhaps we could volunteer to pick up for the person who needs to leave early...or pull the new person aside and explain the "rules"......

Yes pink, we will always have drama and people talking about others but it is our job to not be a part of it and perhaps walk away! Good job or keeping it to yourself!!

I recently went to a meeting and had just blown two months sober and hadnt said anything at a meeting as I didnt know anyone and was quite shy and I would rather listen because my head was a mess. For the two months i was sober i maybe spoke twice, just to let people know where I was at etc.

Anyways I ended up having a slip and had a fight with my partner got arrested for screaming like a lunatic etc.(you all know the drill)..spent the night in jail etc. released out of court in the morning with a breach of the peace and straight to the booze to drown my sorrows, patched things up with my partner and after 2 days went back to a meeting, drunk but in need to get all the crap outta my head by sharing.

I was in the meeting and i guess I was ranting and sounding pretty messed up and I was stopped by two dudes one of which is 8 years sober or something and they were polite and such and said maybe you should give someone else a chance to share...okay fine...then he goes on to share...needless to say I felt really embarrassed and empty. Not too mention angry and resentful of the guy. I thought to myself 'What a prick, what if I never come back, it'll be his fault' 'I'll get him'

I never went back to an AA meeting since. that was 3 months ago. now I am detoxing and plan to return after I get out of the hospital for pancreatitus...I showed him allright...I almost killed myself.

The point is I shoudnt have gone to the meeting pissed and I shouldve been more considerate of others. I shouldve been fearless and thourough from the start

"...I never went back to an AA meeting since. that was 3 months ago. now I am detoxing and plan to return after I get out of the hospital for pancreatitus...I showed him allright...I almost killed myself.

The point is I shoudnt have gone to the meeting pissed and I shouldve been more considerate of others. I shouldve been fearless and thourough from the start.."

That is what everybody does til we realize that you can't make somebody else sick by taking the poison yourself...or something equally ugly like that. Point is everyone has been there . Some just takes longer and may be harder . But some just never get it!

motorhead, you maybe got hurt pretty bad (by your own recognition) but you are learning something really good.

Even the most composed of people can do this kind of thing. It truly is a learned skill to communicate effectively without anger and muscle sometimes. We get tested, hopefully the more we get tested the better the score in self composure.

And yup, I love Hoolah Hoop Wisdom! Did you invent that idea Pinkchip? (I know Hasbro invented the plastic hoolha hoop, with the bead in it, those were fun !, lol...That may tell how old a person is!!


Holding my tongue was not used recently at a meeting(not aa). I wish to God I could have remembered the wisdom. Could have avoided something but I fell right in it. But chalk it up to a good way to remember to practice holding the tongue next time.

: )

-- Edited by Dakota at 13:57, 2009-01-28