Hey Loren, welcome back. You did us a great service by telling us that it isn't any better out there. Thanks. Usually when an AA, with more than 5 years, goes out and drinks there's a relationship issue behind it.
Welcome to MIP, Loren & thankyou for that warning. I can never have enough as I, like every other alcoholic, can be susceptible to that great obsessional thinking that I may one day be able to control my drinking the way I'd like to so that I can enjoy my 'old friend' & have the best of how I always thought it was before I came to AA & realised that as far as alcohol is concerned I will always be insane, thinking that I'll get away with it & that it will be different. If only!
I'm glad to know I'm an alcoholic today & that in exercising my program, meetings & fellowship I may hopefully stay in with a chance 1Day@aTime of staying sober another day. I have to be ever vigilant & your experience is your message. Thanks for coming here to share with us though I know you must be feeling wretched, sad, desperate & disappointed right now. It will pass & you will get back in your Sobriety Saddle & ride high again.
Hit some meetings & share where you are. You will be loved as much as you've ever been & don't feel ashamed. We will empathise with you because what you've experienced is pretty much every one of our worst nightmares. I hope you don't hate yourself right now. You do deserve love & sobriety. Keep coming back. You still have your 10yrs of sober experience. Reach out & help others with it & your self worth will come back.
Recovery love & fellowship for you shining from Liverpool. God bless, Danielle x
__________________
Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
I remember wanting to drink when I was 10 years sober and God stepped in and saved me. I am praying that you make it back, Loren! I don't know where I would be if I didn't have this program. God's grace!
Welcome to MIP. Thank you for the reminder that my alcoholism is out to get me and I must always be prepared for that.
Try getting to as many meetings as you can and sharing about how you feel and how things are going for you. I know that you will be met with unconditional love and support.
Please keep posting and letting us know how things are going for you, won't you?
Take care,
Carol
__________________
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Loren, if you remember anyone from the Program and have or can get their number, I would suggest you call them.I've been going to meetings for almost 4 years now and when I go to one I haven't been to before it's always easier for me to get a meeting buddy to go with me, at least the first time. I also want to share that there are a lot of people like me in that meeting you'll go to.They are the ones that have been waiting for you and they want to love you until you can love yourself. I'll be keeping you close in my thoughts and prayers.
Welcome Loren.. Sorry for your loss and if you have other family members Im sure they would be sorry to be losing you to alcoholism...Get back to your meetings...as you may recall, there are people who will be there for you...without even really knowing you! I hope you take the above advise and get back to your meetings!!!
__________________
"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
Hi Loren, sorry for your loss. It must be tough for you. However drinking is no way to deal with it. It will just prolong and intensify the grief process. The greatest thing about AA is that no matter what you're going through, there are many many people there that have already been through it and can share their strength with you.
I drank tonight. I am totally f....ing up my life and setting myself for failure. What is wrong with me!!! I know better!!!!! The worst thing is I am having a great time being buzzed. It makes me forget my pain of losing my husband.
I can relate to you for sure. I went back out after 12 years (for a few different reasons) I didn't have much fun with it and found it futile to stop. Luckily I didn't screw up too bad while I was out (for over a year) although a severe motorcycle crash brought me to an inch from death. I found it hard to get back to recovery but I did my best. I had to re-learn everything as I had not gone to meetings for about 8 years. I am working my ass off...steps, sponsor, meditation, meetings...you name it. I'm around the 7 or 8 month mark now and doing fine. I really need to stay alive, I am worth it....so are you. You can do it again.
__________________
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. ~Buddha
Today you may be tired. Have a hope for tomorrow & grab your opportunites with both hands. I am sorry for your loss & the pain of it though I'm sure your late husband would want to see you happy again. There is a life again of sobriety for you & you deserve it. Reach out & try again. You will grow strong & loving again. Godbless, Loren ~ Danielle x
__________________
Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
