The perverse wish to hide a bad motive underneath a good one permeates human affairs from top to bottom. This subtle and elusive kind of selfish-righteousness can underlie the smallest act or thought.Learning daily to spot, admit, and correct these flaws is the essence of character-building and good living.
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The deception of others is nearly always rooted in the deception of ourselves.
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Somehow, being alone with God doesn't seem as embarrassing as facing up to another person. Until we actually sit down and talk aloud about what we have so long hidden, our willingness to clean house is still largely theoretical. When we are honest with another person, it confirms that we have been honest with ourselves and with God.
1. 12 & 12, pp. 94-95 2. Grapevine, August 1961 3. 12 & 12, p. 60
This is the mother of all character defects becasue we do it so well we don't even know we're doing it a lot of the time. This is what your sponser means by asking you to "check your motives". And why it's suggested that we practise doing acts of charity without telling anyone that we know about it, and expecting nothing in return. As people pleasers and self proclaimed do gooders, we are most often looking to gain something in return. And when we don't get it we typically get a big resentment. This behavior also sets us up for being taken advantage of by what I call "takers" and worse con artists. One of the most sucessful cons is "if you help me, it will benefit you greatly". Cons know how well this works, it's almost as if they went to college to study the technique. I'm digressing but this might help you to spot some of this behavior.
This behavior DOES permeate human existence! And beyond spotting it in others, I still have a long way to go in spotting it in myself. I can think that just because I am not trying to con people out of taking care of me while I drink all my money and opportunities away, that I am doing "the right things for the right reasons". Not always so!
Checking my motives is an ongoing process for me, and the "con" can indeed still rear it's ugly head in the most subtle of ways. The problem is not so much anymore of whether OTHERS can spot it in me, it's whether I am trying to fool myself into donning a shield of purity, when I am still all but "pure" in some of my day to day decisions.
Good stuff, and thanks for the post and replies.
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
