I am just on my second day of sobriety and I am feeling rotten. I have a cold but dont want a drink. I am starting to feel depressed because my husband has to go to a presentation tomorrow night and will possibly go for a drink afterwards. I am upset that he will go without me and usually this is when I have a drink to feel like he is not the only one enjoying himself. I know I dont want to have that drink tomorrow- any support would be welcome. I also dont watn to give him attitude about having to go out so I am going to be very conscious of my interaction with him concerning tomorrow. I would like to go through the whole day without an argument or attitude. I suppose it is up to me, but I feel that resentment creepin into my thoughts.
This is when we do the Steps,,, looking to God to help us do what we can't do for ourselves. Step 1... I have no control over this. Step 2... I believe that God can restore me to sanity. Step 3 - I'm turning my life and will over to the care of God as I understand Him now. Step 11 - through prayer and meditation I seek to know the will of God each moment, and the courage to carry it out.
Sometimes it is only a moment at a time if we can't count on a whole day. You can do it for this moment.
love in recovey,
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
Hi Suzy, Stick with it, your on day 2 now and it will get better. I remember that when I first stopped drinking, I thought it was the end of my world. I thought I'd never be happy again, I couldn't see a way without drink. That was 176 days ago, September 19th 2004. I've never looked back since, it won't be long before you are noticing that you've got more money, you feel calmer and far more relaxed, and your mind will be far sharper. You will also notice that you no longer have hangovers and the great thing is that you will find yourself smiling more.
Just don't go and make my mistake and become an ebay addict instead! (ha ha ha)
Have a great day and keep on coming back, we are here to help.
Chris.
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"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music." -- Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989"
It's been a long night and my eyes feel like they are bugging out of my head.
Sounds to me like you are doing all the right things Suzy...keep talking and voicing your fears. I found once they were out, they were a lot less powerful and it always helps when the people around you know what you're afraid of and that things are unmanageable. When we do that we find we rarely have to tackle things alone.
When your mate goes where ever he goes tomorrow night, try and get your head out of the old thinking... try not to run those old 'I used to' videos and fill your head with new ways of doing things. Move your thinking into today.
I don't know whether its tomorrow yet or what over there.... but Today you and me are going to make a list.
We are going to list all the things you don't have time to do for yourself, and often wish you could.
I'll kick it off and you add to it...
Let's start with a bit of a girly session...
[ ] Soak in the tub (bitta perfume/oil in the bath, music on...getting the idea?)
[ ] A hair colour (don't want to change it? Get the same colour and just add some highlights..)
[ ] Moisturise (When was the last time you remembered your elbows, feet and shoulders?)
[ ]
[ ]
Into the kitchen...
Make a list of all the meals (or desserts ) you have enjoyed and search the internet for the recipes. Put the ingredients on your shopping list, so they are there in the house when you feel inspired
[ ]
[ ]
[ ]
Now there's a pretty good chance that by the time you've picked at least one thing off each of those lists, that mate of yours will be back from whereever he went, and if you were clever enough to put cheesecake in the second list, you will both be giggling over it, while he sniffs the air and asks what smells so good.
BUT just in case you think you can stop there...there's a good chance he'll have other stuff to do sometimes so..
let's sort some learning areas...
So many of us shelve things behind the drink that we are interested in and think one day I'll look that up, and find out a bit more about that. The internet puts just about any course of study, or our interest area virtually in our laps... What would benefit around you from a bit of self directed study? How can you improve things around you by learning what they need?
[ ] Something in your garden need some attention?
[ ] Basic mechanics (how's the car going?)
[ ] A career interest? (where are you going?)
[ ]
[ ]
...and some financial goals
Every drink you DON'T have means you too (like the rest of us) can start making goals and acheiving them.
...some family goals
[ ]
...relationship goals
[ ]
...and some ways you can help others
[ ] these things can be as simple or as complicated as you want to make them.
and finally throw in a few miracles.
things you might not really believe could happen, but would be real NICE!
[ ]
[ ]
You just run with it! List anything that matters to you, no matter how little they may seem or how BIG. I spent the whole day running back to my list to add stuff, but maybe your thoughts are more organised than mine.
Sit back, have a look at it and then start ticking the things off as you do them.
It is a lot easier to take step two, when we can actually look at it and see our progress.
I've read all the post to you and agree with Amanda, Chris,and I really like Nic's post. I think it's great that you reconize all of the feelings you are having. When I first quit drinking I had a terrible time understanding what I was feeling, it had been so long since I really felt anything without the alcohol.
You can do it, you don't have to drink today or tomorrow . We are here for you .I really liked the idea of the cheesecake, but maybe for you it's a double fudge cake. I love to go for long walks,but today it's snowing and 30 degrees in my part of TX,Sat. on my birthday it was 70 degrees, daffodils blooming. I've got the one day at a time part down to this program, because all can change in the setting of the sun. Hang in there, we have all been where you are .
Ok. I have just woken up on my side of the world (Australia)
Is it tomorrow yet?
The best thing about doing this stuff with others, is that I now have a list sitting on the desk waiting for me to start ticking things off, so it looks like I have a very busy day ahead of me.
Today, I figure I'll try squishing these things into the daily routine:
Trim the goats feet (having been putting that off for weeks!)
Wash the dog (so she can find something dead to roll in again, when I'm finished )
Moisturise (cos I always forget that and fear I may resemble a walking sultana)
Read a chapter about the effects of prescription medication.
Search the net for information on solar power
and bugger it...I'm going to have a go at making a cheesecake!
Thinking of you Suzy. You are not on your own with this.
Thank you for the great ideas. I think that these will work well for me. At the moment i am really on another plane as I and my whole family is down with this awful flu virus. I still feel though that now maybe more than ever I have to apply the program becasue I dont want resentment building up. My husband cannot take time off work even though he is very ill and I am angry at his company or at him for not insisting. Yes I must let go.
I have been telling myself that over and over again the last three days . Last night we attended a business function and I had all good intentions to not drink - ordered a diet Pepsi and then these waiters kept coming around with beer(my favourite) wine and champagne. So I eventually relented to one glass of white wine. I felt like a tsunami hit me already and then the wine didn't do much for me so I never ordered anything else and sipped water like it was going out of fashion. So I made it out of there not sober- but I am ready to start over just for today. I will work on my list and keep looking for you guys who are so helpful with your posts to us newbies. Thank you
I'm new to these posts, but have some time in the program and wanted to respond -- and hopefully to help.
First off, about your slip Suzy. Today is a new day, and you can always start your day over at any time. Keep coming back and learn the lesson from the slip if you feel you are ready to quit drinking and you feel you are an alcoholic (only you can determine that).
From my experience, I had to hit a real bottom before I was willing to take action and stop drinking. I never went to jail, lost a job, wrecked a car, or suffered from any of the external consequences that so many of us find ourselves in before getting into the program. My bottom was an emotional one, and I definitely knew it when I hit it. Until I hit that bottom, though, I wasn't ready to do anything I could to stay sober. I knew that I had a problem, but hadn't experienced enough pain to have the willingness to change and go to an AA meeting. I was ashamed at first that I was even at AA because I felt I was admitting complete defeat. But I knew I was out of options, and at the rate I was going, I realized I would either die young or kill myself in a blackout from this disease.
In hindsight, though, that admission of defeat brought me to the point of surrender and humility that I needed to take the first step in this program:
Admitted we were powerless over alcohol and that our lives had become unmanageable.
It might help Suzy -- if you are truly at the point of wanting to quit drinking -- to make a list of how alcohol has made your life unmanageable and how you believe you are powerless over it.
Here's just a few examples of how alcohol took over and made my life unmanageable:
1) It determined who I spent time with. If they didn't drink, forget it. Toward the end, I just drank by myself.
2) It decided how I spent my time. Hobby #1 Drinking. Hobby #2 Drinking Hobby #3: Getting Drunk.
3) It decided how I spent my money. If it was a choice between alcohol and eating and/or paying bills, Popov vodka always won.
How I was powerless over alcohol (and still would be if I picked up a drink):
1) Every morning I would resolve not to drink that day. By late evening, I'd be drunk again and well through my fifth of vodka.
2) Having just one drink was a foreign concept. I drank to get drunk and could never understand the people who could leave a glass with alcohol still in it.
3) In the end, alcohol made me feel emotionally, spiritually, physically, and mentally bankrupt. I had looked to it for solace, but it robbed me of all joy.
I could go on and on, but you get my point. The first step of this program is the only one you have to do perfectly. If you choose not to drink just for today, and you choose not to tomorrow or the next day, or the next day after that, pretty soon you'll look back and have a week, a month, a year of sobriety behind you. And if you keep working the first step on a daily basis, you'll have a good chance of experiencing the freedom, joy, and happiness that has come to me and others in the program from working the other 11 steps.
It's a simple program, but it isn't easy.
If you're ready to quit drinking, my suggestions would be get to a meeting, find a sponsor to help guide you through the steps and the sober life, follow the suggestions of people who seem to have what you want, get some phone numbers of other women in the program, and pick up the phone to call someone in the program every day. That way, if you feel like picking up a drink, you can pick up the phone instead and talk to someone who understands and has been there.
Honesty, openness, and willingness. These three things will help you get and stay sober. I hope this has helped. Take care.
It's been a long night and my eyes feel like they are bugging out of my head.
) you have enjoyed and search the internet for the recipes. Put the ingredients on your shopping list, so they are there in the house when you feel inspired
)