An amazing thing happened, a few nights ago I was at an annual Christmas party that involved a fair amount of drinking, I wasnt drinking, but I was having a lot of fun.As the evening was drawing to a close, and most people were buzzed up, someone asked me something at the bar and I said, I havent had a drink in 11 years, what, 11 years???!!! was the response.yep, anyway then another person said well, how do you have fun if you dont drink, and before I could answer someone cut me offdont know what I would have said, but I sure remembered the question and Ive been thinking about since then, wondering how I would answer the question and tonight I was sharing in a meeting and the most amazing answer came out of my mouth..I dont need to drink to have fun because I am ALREADY HAPPY INSIDE, and Im happy inside because, in recovery I am doing positive things which create in me a feeling of peace and well being, good things like being honest, considerate and helping others, things like prayer, yoga and a good diet.If I drink or use, those are self-destructive actions, if I drink I will tear apart all the good works I have been doing, I dont want to do that, it feels great to do things which are positive and healthy.The idea that a buzz from alcohol is fun is an illusion, and I am sober enough now to understand.I am not a teenager who can be convinced otherwise(I had my first drink at 16).Nope, no fooling this girl, I am happy and recovery is So much better than drinking...OMG what a great answer to the question: How do you have fun if you dont drink?I think I just crossed a thresholdwow..
Drinking prevented me from having fun. I could never have traveled the world skiing and scuba diving while drinking. I couldn't even keep from getting arrested for DIP and DUI, in my own town. I was terrified of traveling. I had also given up motorcycle riding, when I was drinking. Now a days, I ride almost daily. I always wanted to have my own business and drinking kept me from doing that. Now I've been self employed (which I love and have so much fun doing) for as long as I've been sober.
"Having fun drinking" is an illusion where the drunk turns his/her mind into a playground and never grows up. Later it becomes their prison.
What comes to mind is all the fun stuff AA has to offer...Didnt get to go but we have a womens xmas luncheon that is so much fun! There are canoe trips, and dance parties all the time....Just hanging out with a bunch of like minded people is a blast! I dont think Ive met so many people and formed so many honest friendships in my life! Life is good my friend...keep having fun!!!!
__________________
"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
"Having fun drinking" is an illusion where the drunk turns his/her mind into a playground and never grows up. Later it becomes their prison.
Dean, thanks for your share, i like the way you put this together, it's so true, it summarizes what i was sharing, i'm copying it, i like it so much i know i'll use it when i share my ES&H on this subject.
also great to hear how soberity has brought you the freedom to travel, ride your motorbike, and be self employed, i can tell from your shares that you love life and you do a great service to this board through your daily dedication here.
What comes to mind is all the fun stuff AA has to offer...There are canoe trips, and dance parties all the time....Just hanging out with a bunch of like minded people is a blast!
Hey Lani, yes soberity has changed my life and thankfully, i sure am having fun, appreciate your encouragement......
as to what AA has to offer my HP has placed me in a town where AA doesn't offer anything but 2-3 meetings a week about 4-5 regulars, and for this i am very thankful, looking at what i have instead of what i don't have.
because we don't have any of the activities you mentioned above, available to us, this is because there are so few of us, so i have accepted what is here and i reach out to other like minded people through the phone and the internet.
Hp has me and the rest of the small group as pioneers, i just know that as we continue others will come and perhaps in the future there will be enough of us in recovery to organize those activities....because Recovery has to appear(and be), attraction rather than promotion, better than drinking or no one would want to Recover. we are not a glum lot.....comes to mind....
and thank you, like Dean, you do great daily service work to this board and you just never know how many people you may be helping, thanks((((hugs))) Deb
I started drinking in my early teens. But, I was always around alcohol so I did a lot of drinking people's drink when they weren't aware, or so I thought. But, at 14 or 15, I concendered myself in the big leagues. That's a kick.
Anyway, I took my drinking to the point of isolation. I guess for the last 5 years or so of it anyway. That was a very ugly painful place. So, one of the things I've finally been able to do, today, is have fun all by myself. I've learn I'm not so bad to be around. The reflection in the mirror is okay today. So, I guess I'm learning to live with myself and that really allows me to have fun in almost anything I do.
This question although I've certainly come across it before, just gave me a knee-jerk reaction. I've found when I feel a knee-jerk, I need to sit on it for a day or so and see what's really going on. This is one of those questions I've never really had a good comeback for, and it's just because I never really stepped back and taken a look at it, and the motivation - however benign - of the person asking.
I have concluded it doesn't deserve an answer. Like many pre-loaded questions, if you answer it at all you get opened up for a debate. If I answer by naming all of the fun things I do without drinking, then I'm subjecting myself to further criticism or ridicule, or eye rolling. "Oh. How exciting." If I don't give that kind of an answer, then I'm confirming the questioner's presumption that yes indeed, I have no fun.
I think the best reply is, "What a stupid question!" and then walk away.
I really have lots of fun, and sometimes it's really fun to disarm someone with a quick kung-fu boot and let them spend the rest of the evening trying to get their sword down from the chandelier
I like 2 responses here... "I'm ALREADY happy so why would I want to drink?"
and also, barisax had a pretty good one, as well, for those who are just trying to single you out or cause trouble at a function.
My response? (Have had this happen to me lately, at a function for an organization my hubby's company belongs to).... "I have been drunk enough times to last me... and from what I recall, it was never really that FUN to begin with."
I am not from Mars because I don't drink. I like this topic, and thanks for sharing it!
__________________
~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
Hey Deb... I had a thought that I wanted to have everyone dress up, bring a dish to pass, bring your own crab legs and a steak, and have a xmas/new years blow out. As your group is small enough, and Im sure you can get plenty of crab legs, why not have a big "non-cocktail/dinner party!!!" Why not get it started yourself!!!
__________________
"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
BG