Not in a good place. Haven't been for 4 or 5 days now! Not real sure why. The time of year? The weather has been coooolllddd rainy and nasty? My chronic pain has returned? I hate my job! Haven't been to a meeting since last Wednesday? My John has called several times over the last couple of weeks? Wanting to 'put us back together' as he puts it! Called me Thanksgiving night! Now it's been 4 days and haven't heard a peep! Expectations! I had a drinking dream last night, myself! Haven't had one of those in over 2 years, I guess. Woke up at this morning thinking of a Bloody Mary and calling in!
But, I won't! I will go on to work today, I will make a meeting right after and I will call my sponsor!
My is really out to get my ass. I'm being reminded of the cunning, powerful and baffling...... I know what I need to do.
Guess I just needed to get it out there..........Jen
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
Hang in there dolly and I guess you hit the nail on the head..no meeting since weds!!!! Thats when I start to feel squirrley...Need those reminders to remind me why Im in AA in the first place.... Watched "intervention" last night and that was a good reminder of where I dont want to be.... Hang in and you know what to do!!!! XO
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
Yes, hang in there, Doll. My depressive tendencies have a great deal of ups and downs lately as well. It can't help any having your ex calling you again too. Meetings seem boring to me at times, but I know all about "keep coming back". Have to. Medicine doesn't always taste good going down, but AA is the medicine I need. I am off to see a therapist tomorrow because I am sick and tired of being sick and tired sober. You already know (from my other post) how alcoholism has tried to mess with me lately as well. But nothing good comes from drinking. Nothing.
I still have some reprieve left for today, and I am going to use it, just like you are. Off to work and to get through this 24 hours. To a meeting, talk to sponsor, and on it goes. And it will get better.
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
Hey, Doll! lol Your *mind* really has gone there, honey ;) Freudian slip perhaps? xx Mine usually goes for awhile after I've had a call from my Ex too. I really am best left alone for the most part in that regard. We're exes for a reason is how I think of it. He's apologised for his part in our mess but for me, like me, he's not at Step8 & everytime he calls I feel like my will is for his amend to be to leave me in my peace. It's a closed chapter for me that's served its purpose & him calling rakes up old stuff simply because I have changed & moved on like I'm sure he has & speaking with him reminds me of my bitterness at some of the horrors that went on in our relationship. I hope to be placed in a postion of neutrality around this in God's time.
I stay grateful though as all of that became a part of my rockbottom & led me to where I am today. Simply to relate to what you're saying here, getting a call from him always wierds me out for a few days :) You know it passes.. I keep looking at me. What's going on with me to make me feel strange? Great stuff this program & what would we do without our fellowship? Enjoy your next meeting, Jen & that invisable spiritual injection! Danielle x
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
