Allo folks,

I have returned from my recent reality check in civilisation and am soooo glad to be back on the farm. It really is a crazy world out there. Shared a room with a couple of great girls who were only strangers for about 3 minutes and we giggled our way through a week of workshops and lectures. One of the girls spent all week trying to contact her kids who were in the care of a full-on alkie, who really was nothing short of a pain in the buttocks. Actually, I'd go as far as to say he was a right royal prick, but he did stand as a wonderful reminder of my own past (and potential if I was to pick up again) and made the act of saying no very easy, when it came time to celebrate the end of the week (or as the poor girl referred to it after a week of his nonsense - drown her sorrows).

It never fails to amaze me how different I was and how easier life is, once we put down the grog and learn to stay stopped. I remember it being such a huge decision and feeling overwhelmed by so much fear, when I considered life without it - but none of those fears ever came to life. Instead, it was kinda like I'd finally stumbled across the chance card on the monopoly board, and watched someone advance me past Go. 

You know Dan, whizzing past jail can leave you pretty breathless and suddenly finding I had some cash left to actually live with was great. I've learned that if you want to win at that old game of monopoly - you don't buy hotels, ya just put up as many houses as you can, and make sure the folks around you have somewhere to throw their swag - and the whole game changes if you start welcoming folks in and admitting you might need a hand when ya get round the corner, so you start shouting rounds of a different kind. You will be ok mate. Let us know how the meeting went and don't forget to ask for what you need. I'm glad you're here.

Phil, ol mate! Stan the man has gone to Italy to complete some course or something or other. He was looking forward to it, I think. He said he was going to try and check in if he could get near a computer over there, but he must be busy doing whatever you do in Italy. I'm not sure what you meant when you referred to some sort of email thingy - but I hope it works out ok.

Cabbagehead! How is life in the Old Country? Charlie is marrying his ride? The cheek of him! Fair dinkum. He's due over here soon... Really don't know how he thinks he can just prance about like that's ok. Cheeky bugger.

I heard the other day (while away) that bugger has a different meaning in the UK..so maybe I should not use that word... Anyway, hope you are doing ok and all is good in your part of the world.

Amanda, has there been any luck getting people sinc'd up with the online meeting? I would really like to be a part of that. Hope your doing well too.

Good to hear Gammy is doing well too. Keep on kicking those goals Gammy!

Thanks to Rick, I have been doing a bit of a catch up on this weeks reading. I was struck by the progress in these readings...felt like each of them reflected an aspect of the promises and it reminded me to revel in life as we know it today, sober and free. Thanks for reminding me not to forget the value of constant inventory, Rick. I needed a reminder to continue to clear the wreckage and revel in the miracles, and coming home certainly helped me do this. It would have been so easy to come back and go on about what wasn't done in my absence (cos sometimes I fool myself into thinking I am indispensible) but instead, I was reminded to look for the things that were done differently and there were heaps of them. The kids mixed up the stock feeds, but actually found a way to extend the feed several days (and by several dollars) so that was great. A fence went up in the wrong place, but is actually better because it uses half the wire and created two pens instead of one. Funny how things work out, when ya just take your hands off and just let things be!

People pleasing is a funny thing Rifkah. If we didn't act in response to others, we may never ever have made it to AA. If it was okay to just rock on and please ourselves, many of us would probably still be drinking, I think. Actually, we'd probably all eat with our fingers and walk around nude...lol. Getting that balance is tricky though, isn't it? There is nothing more frustrating that doing something we KNOW we shouldn't do in the first place, but we do it and then say it was for someone else. A big resentment fueller, I think. Actually, *laughing* I had a situation today that could probably fall under the people pleasing banner. We were out of pump fuel, so I said I'd go out and get some. Instead my mate said it was too hot to go over to town, so instead we should syphon it from other vehicles... Somehow or other, I ended up with a mouth and nose full of petrol and after flushing my head for about 20 minutes I came out raving on and on about my mates STUPID IDEA while he giggled his happy little head off. I wasn't really annoyed with him, just annoyed I hadn't kept it simple and enjoyed the ride into town instead of going along with him and turning the roof of my mouth into a furnace. The truth is though, it wasn't so much about pleasing him - I was just being really lazy and was easily swayed with a way of not going too far from the airconditioner. Then when it didn't work, I took the selfish way out and blamed him. Luckily, I don't get so stuck in that nowdays, but it helps heaps when you know you CAN apologise and your mates will smile and let you be a twit and give you that supportive look when you say you really wish you weren't so bloody human!

To everyone else, a big g'day from Aus. I'm sorry, I'm not as good as Phil - I have no idea who is here beyond today, but am enjoying getting to know you all. I look forward to hearing from each of you and living life among the likeminded. Keep smiling folks, it's nice to be a part of such a great group of people.

Nic